She concentrated on getting down the bowls from the cupboard. Mismatched bowls, two out of four of them chipped. She put them out on the counter as Shane returned with the spaghetti and began portioning it out. Eve grabbed the sauce and followed him down the line, ladling.
It looked pretty tasty, actually. Claire picked up two bowls and carried them into the living room, where Michael was tuning his guitar as if nothing had happened, as if he hadnt been stabbed through the heart and dragged outside andoh my God, she didnt want to finish that thought at all.
She handed him the bowl. He set the guitar carefully back in its casesomehow, with all the mayhem that had gone on in the past two days, it had escaped damageand dug in as Eve and Shane trailed in with their own dinner. Eve had two chilled bottles of water under one arm. She tossed one to Claire as she sat down cross-legged on the floor, next to Michaels knee.
Shane settled on the couch, and Claire joined him. For a few minutes nobody said anything. Claire hadnt realized that she was hungry, not really, but the second the sauce hit her tongue and exploded into flavors, she was starving. She couldnt gobble it fast enough.
Hells put in a skating rink, Shane said. This is actually edible, Eve.
Again, Claire had the impulse to claim creditand managed not to, mostly because that would have required her to stop shoveling pasta into her mouth.
Claire, Eve said. Shes the cook, not me. I just, you know, supervised. Which gave Claire a pleasant little spurt of gratitude and surprise.
See? I knew that.
Eve flipped him off and noisily sucked some spaghetti into her mouth.
Claire got to the bottom of the bowl firsteven before Michael or Shaneand sat back with a sigh of utter contentment. Nap, she thought. I could take a nap.
Guys, Michael said. Were still in trouble. You know that, right?
Yeah, Eve said. But now we have catered trouble.
He ignored her, except for a brief little quirk of a smile, and focused on Shane. You need to tell me everything, Michael said.
No bullshit, man. Every last thing, from the time you left Morganville.
Shane seemed to lose his appetite.
Which, for Shane, was not a good sign at all.
The vampires had offered them money. Cash compensation. It was Morganvilles version of Allstate, only it wasnt insuranceit was blood money for a dead child.
And the Collins familyDad, Mom, and Shanehad packed up whatever had survived the fire that had taken Alyssa, and left town in the middle of the night. Running. That probably would have been that, Shane explained; people did leave town from time to time, and it was rarely any trouble. Michaels own parents had taken off. Butsomething went wrong with Molly Collins.
At first, shed just space, Shane said. Hed drained his beer, and now he was just rolling the bottle between his palms. Stare at things, like she was trying to remember something. Dad didnt notice. He was drinking a lot. We ended up in Odessa, and Dad got a job at the recycling plant. He wasnt home much.
That must have been an improvement, Eve muttered.
Hey, let me get through it, okay?
Sorry.
Shane took another deep breath. Momshe kept talking about Alyssa. You have to understand, we didntI couldnt remember anything, except that shed died. It was all just sort of a blur, but not the kind of blur you worry about, if you know what I mean?
Claire was fairly certain nobody did, but she remembered her conversation with her own parents. Theyd forgotten things, and somehow, they hadnt really cared. So maybe she did understand.
I started working, too. Momshe just stayed in the motel. Wouldnt do anything except eat, sleep, sometimes take a bath if we yelled at her long enough. I figured, you know, depressionbut it was more than that. One day, out of nowhere, she grabs me by the arm and she says, Shane, do you remember your sister? So I go, Yeah, Mom, of course I do. And she says the weirdest thing. She says, Do you remember the vampires? I didnt remember, but it felt like something in me was trying to. I got a bad headache, and I felt sick. And Momshe just kept on talking, about how there was something wrong with us, something going wrong in our heads. About the vampires. About Lyssa dying in the fire.
He fell silent, still rolling the beer bottle like some kind of magic talisman. Nobody moved.
And I remembered.
Shanes whisper sounded raw, somehow, vulnerable and exposed. Michael wasnt looking at him. He was looking down, at his own beer bottle, and the label he was peeling off in strips.
It was like some wall coming down, and then it all just flooded in. I mean, its bad enough to live through it and sort of cope with it, but when it comes back like that Shane visibly shuddered. It was like Id just watched Lyss die all over again.
Oh, Eve said faintly. Oh God.
Mom He shook his head. I couldnt handle it. I left her. I had to get away, I couldnt justI had to go. You know? So I left. I ran.
A hollow rattle of a laugh. Saved my life.
Shane Michael cleared his throat. I was wrong. You dont have to
Shut up, man. Just shut up. Shane tipped the bottle to his lips for the last few drops, then swallowed hard. Claire didnt know what was coming, but she could see from the look on Michaels face that he did, and it twisted her stomach into a knot. So anyway, I came back a few hours later and she was in the tub, just floating there, and the water was redrazor blades on the floor
Oh, honey. Eve got up and stood there, hovering next to him, reaching out to touch him and then pulling back in jerky motions without making contact, like he had some force field of grief shielding him. It wasnt your fault. You said she was depressed.
Dont you get it? He glared up at her, then at Michael. She didnt do it. She wouldnt. It was them. You know how they work: they close in; they kill; they cover it up. They must have gotten there right after I left. I dont know
Shane.
I dont know how they got her in the tub. There werent any bruises, but the cuts were
Shane! Christ, man! Michael looked outright horrified this time, and Shane stopped. The two of them looked at each other for a long, wordless moment, and then Michaelvisibly tenseeased back into his chair. Shit. I dont even know what to say.
Shane shook his head and looked away. Nothing to say. It is what it is. I couldntshit. Let me just finish, okay?
As if they could stop him. Claire felt cold. She could feel Shanes body shaking next to her, and if she felt cold, how must he be feeling? Frozen. Numb. She reached out to touch him and, like Eve, juststopped. There was something about Shane right now that didnt want to be touched.
Anyway, my dad came home, eventually. Cops said it was a suicide, but after they were gone I told him. He didnt exactly want to hear it. Things gotugly. Claire couldnt imagine how ugly that had been, for Shane to actually admit it. But I made him remember.