Not long after the preceding incident, in order to get the ache of too

constant labor out of my bones, and to relieve my spirit of the

irksomeness of a settled routine, I took a holiday. It was my purpose

to spend it all alone, from breakfast-time till twilight, in the

deepest wood-seclusion that lay anywhere around us. Though fond of

society, I was so constituted as to need these occasional retirements,

even in a life like that of Blithedale, which was itself characterized

by a remoteness from the world. Unless renewed by a yet further

withdrawal towards the inner circle of self-communion, I lost the

better part of my individuality. My thoughts became of little worth,

and my sensibilities grew as arid as a tuft of moss (a thing whose life

is in the shade, the rain, or the noontide dew), crumbling in the

sunshine after long expectance of a shower. So, with my heart full of

a drowsy pleasure, and cautious not to dissipate my mood by previous

intercourse with any one, I hurried away, and was soon pacing a

wood-path, arched overhead with boughs, and dusky-brown beneath my feet.

At first I walked very swiftly, as if the heavy flood tide of social

life were roaring at my heels, and would outstrip and overwhelm me,

without all the better diligence in my escape. But, threading the more

distant windings of the track, I abated my pace, and looked about me

for some side-aisle, that should admit me into the innermost sanctuary

of this green cathedral, just as, in human acquaintanceship, a casual

opening sometimes lets us, all of a sudden, into the long-sought

intimacy of a mysterious heart. So much was I absorbed in my

reflections,--or, rather, in my mood, the substance of which was as yet

too shapeless to be called thought,--that footsteps rustled on the

leaves, and a figure passed me by, almost without impressing either the

sound or sight upon my consciousness.

A moment afterwards, I heard a voice at a little distance behind me,

speaking so sharply and impertinently that it made a complete discord

with my spiritual state, and caused the latter to vanish as abruptly as

when you thrust a finger into a soap-bubble.

"Halloo, friend!" cried this most unseasonable voice. "Stop a moment,

I say! I must have a word with you!"

I turned about, in a humor ludicrously irate. In the first place, the

interruption, at any rate, was a grievous injury; then, the tone

displeased me. And finally, unless there be real affection in his

heart, a man cannot,--such is the bad state to which the world has

brought itself,--cannot more effectually show his contempt for a

brother mortal, nor more gallingly assume a position of superiority,

than by addressing him as "friend." Especially does the misapplication

of this phrase bring out that latent hostility which is sure to animate

peculiar sects, and those who, with however generous a purpose, have

sequestered themselves from the crowd; a feeling, it is true, which may

be hidden in some dog-kennel of the heart, grumbling there in the

darkness, but is never quite extinct, until the dissenting party have

gained power and scope enough to treat the world generously.




readonlinefreebook.com Copyright 2016 - 2024