“This is a grown up night. No more talk of our kids. I get one glass of wine and anything at all I want to eat. If it causes problems with Isaiah’s tummy later, well that’s okay because it’s daddy’s turn to get up with him,” Amy said with a wicked smile.
“You deserve whatever you want Babe,” Lucas said.
The evening progressed and Jessica relaxed. She absolutely loved Lucas and Amy and it helped to mask the tension between her and Alex. She knew at some point they were going to have to face things but she got so tired of being stressed all the time. It was nice to have a worry free evening.
When it came time to say goodnight, she was sad to watch the other couple leave. She hugged Amy tightly and promised to have a girl day later that week. She then rode home in complete silence with her husband.
When they walked inside they both went to Jacob’s room to check on him. It was well past midnight and Julia had long ago retired. Jessica wished she was still up so she could tell her how Jacob’s day had been.
“I think he’s back to normal,” Jessica whispered.
“He was pretty much better by the time we left. I just didn’t want to expose him to the water so soon after his cold,” Alex said.
“I agree,” she said.
“You’re a great mother, never doubt that,” Alex said tenderly. “Don’t feel guilty about taking a day out without him. It’s good for you and him. My parents had many vacations with just the two of them and my brothers and I are fine. They were with us more than away and we always knew how much they loved us,” he finished.
“It was the same at my home. I knew my parents always loved me. I would have traded a little bit of that to have a sibling though. I got really lonely sometimes,” she admitted.
He knew she was implying she would like to have another child. As much as he would love to have another one they didn’t have that kind of marriage.
“I should get some work done,” he said, deciding to avoid the subject. “I’m going to change,” he added, before walking to their bedroom.
Jessica would normally have let him leave but she decided to give her marriage everything she had. While he was changing in the bathroom she stripped off her clothes and lay down in their bed, with the soft lighting showing everything.
Alex stepped out of the bathroom, planning on heading straight out of the room but one look at his wife and his plans changed. He walked to the bed, like he was a puppet on a string. He stripped out of the clothes he’d just put on and climbed in the bed beside her without a single word.
She wrapped her arms around him and when their lips met a fire exploded throughout her entire body. When he rubbed her from breast to hip and back up again it was like a trail of lava was searing her. She couldn’t stop the sounds of pleasure escaping her lips.
She took control back from him before she was unable to think. She pushed him over on his back and climbed on top of him continuing the passionate kiss. She finally released his lips and trailed hers down the side of his neck.
She was encouraged by the shivers racking his body and the gasp that escaped his lips as her hands trailed lower and lower on his body.
She continued kissing him down the column of his throat, over his smooth pecks and lower, to his rock hard abs. She ran her tongue in swirls over the small trail of hair leading her to his engorged manhood.
He tried to pull her back up to him. “No, it’s my turn,” she simply said and he lay back down and let her please him. It took his full willpower not to flip her over and plunge inside of her quivering body.
“Jessica,” he moaned out loud, when she licked the top of his thigh. He really couldn’t take much more.
She took a second to look up at him seductively, before she finally ran her tongue up and down the full length of him. His whole body shook from the pleasure she was giving him.
“Please,” he begged. He didn’t know whether he was begging her to continue or to stop.
She didn’t say a word as she finally took him deep into her mouth and his whole body arched off the bed. She moved her head up and down his shaft, while gripping him and mimicking the movement with her hand.
She swirled her tongue around his head and he jerked up. “Enough,” he growled as he grabbed her in a lightening quick movement and flipped her under him.
“I will finish inside of you, with you quivering around me in pleasure,” he said between clinched teeth.
She jerked her hips upward towards him. She could feel him right there at her entrance but he wouldn’t push inside her.
Now she was the one to beg, “Please Alex,” she moaned.
“Just a minute. I don’t want this to end before it even begins.” He groaned as she rubbed against him again.
He took her hands and placed them over her head and then brought his lips to hers again. He kissed her with all the pent up passion of a man drowning. He was drowning in her.
“Please Alex,” she begged him again.
He couldn’t take anymore and with one thrust he was buried deep inside her. They both moaned in pleasure at the fulfillment of their joined bodies.
He started moving and the waiting ended. He thrust quickly in and out of her, as their panting both escalated. “Alex,” she shouted as her body started convulsing around him. He thrust inside of her and groaned out loud at his own release.
They both lay there, motionless. Her hands were rubbing up and down, from his shoulder blades to his lower back and then up again. He finally got off her and she moaned her displeasure at the separation.
“Shh, I’m too heavy for you,” he said. She thought he would get up and leave but he held her close to him and after he covered them both he rubbed her back until sleep overtook them.
Alex lay there for a long time, still stroking her back and thinking their love making was so much more than sex. He knew he should’ve walked away and let them both think clearly but there was no way he could. When he’d come out of the bathroom and saw her beautiful body glowing under the soft light of the lamp, he was drawn to her
He finally got out of the bed, when he knew she was sound asleep. She moaned and reached for him. When she found only empty space, her brow furrowed but she didn’t wake up.
Alex headed to the bathroom and took a long shower. He let the spray try and wash away the tension that seemed to be ever present in his shoulders. It didn’t do any good. He finally gave up and decided to go back to bed. He would try and get some sleep and figure things out later.
As soon as he climbed back into the bed she immediately snuggled up to him. Even in her sleep she was drawn to him. He gave up for the night trying to create distance and held her, quickly falling into a deep sleep. An earthquake couldn’t have roused him.
The next morning, he woke before Jessica and got up and left. He avoided her the rest of the afternoon and even though he caught her shooting sad looks at him whenever they passed each other he knew it was better to create some distance.
Alex sat in his office and rubbed his pounding temples. He knew he’d been avoiding Jessica far too much and he wanted to just go back to the way things had been.
Everything that had happened over the last several months seemed to keep pulling them further and further apart. He was trying to keep distance between them to prevent the very problems he seemed to have created.
That night at dinner she’d barely touched her food and she seemed to have so much sadness about her and he knew he could fix it. He didn’t know how to make their problems fade away without giving her his heart.
She was a reasonable person. If he explained they were doing what was best for their son, she’d understand a marriage didn’t have to be filled with romance and love. It needed to be filled with an understanding that two people did the best they could in order to be great parents.
Even as the thoughts were flitting through his head he knew they sounded wrong but he was convincing himself everything was fine. He once again stayed in the office far too late, making sure she was asleep before he entered their bedroom.
Chapter Nine
Jessica made a decision. She was head over heels in love with her husband and he’d seemed to pull further and further away from her. She’d been hopeful during those months when he’d seemed to open up to her and their marriage had seemed real. She couldn’t live half-way in the marriage and half-way out.
There were times when everything was perfect and then he would seem to notice he was too relaxed and once again pull away from her. The hot and cold was almost worse than if he was just cold all the time. When he was open with her, it gave her hope they could be a real couple.
She slowly gained her courage and walked down the stairs to her husband’s home office. She took another deep breath outside his door and then stepped in, with her head held high.
“Is everything okay?” Alex asked with concern. She normally didn’t disturb him in the office, with one exception when they’d ended up making love in front of the fireplace.
His eyes were automatically drawn to that spot and he could feel his body’s response. He quickly squelched it and turned back to Jessica.
She was standing there before him and he was thinking he could take her right there on top of his desk. Her eyes held a determination within them that let him know she needed to talk. Seriously, he had to stop his thoughts.
“I don’t know if things are okay,” she began.
Alex was getting really concerned. “Jacob…” he began. He started getting up, ready to charge up the stairs to his son.
“Jacob’s fine. This has to do with us. I need to talk to you about our relationship.” Jessica felt her heart breaking in half as she watched the shutters quickly close into place on her husband’s face.
“Our relationship is fine.” He didn’t elaborate, just looked back down at his computer screen, as if the discussion was over and there was no need to interrupt his work any longer.
He absolutely didn’t want to have the conversation. He knew it had been coming for quite a long time. He didn’t want to hurt her but he couldn’t lose her either. He was feeling more stress than he ever had in his life.
“The thing is, our relationship isn’t okay for me anymore,” she stressed. “Alex, I love you. I have been in love with you for a while now and I can’t live in this marriage, loving you with all my heart, while wondering when you’re going to walk out the door.” She finished, as a tear slipped down her cheek.
His heart warmed for a moment as she once again told him she loved him. He refused to allow the warmth though and blocked his emotions. He would reason with her, he would make things okay for them.
She’d been hopeful to get through the conversation with no tears. She didn’t want to appear weak and she didn’t want him feeling sorry for her. She wanted his love or nothing at all.
He looked at her with the same shuttered expression, although she’d thought for a moment, he’d shown some warmth. She’d most likely imagined it because he had a guarded look that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. He sat back in his chair for a full two minutes before finally speaking.
“Jessica, I care for you greatly. You are an incredible mother and a great wife. I’m comfortable with the way things are. I never wanted to marry, because other than my parents and my brother, I haven’t exactly seen a lot of shining examples of lasting love. I know you want me to say, ‘I love you,’ but I can’t. It’s just not who I am. I’m giving you everything I’m capable of.”