"Yes?" I said, wiping my face.
He swallowed, and lowered his head; then looked up at me again. When he spoke he seemed to force the words from his throat with great effort. "When you were so ill, when the bairn-I was so afraid-I knew that I had caused it, all of it, and your mother-and that if you died, I would condemn myself for it forever. I swore that, if God would only let you live, I would take you home to Brianag and never touch you again."
"But-you did not want to bring me home!" I said.
"I wanted to wait for as long as I could, to be sure that you were well, and that I might keep you with me a bit longer," he said, and his own eyes welled with tears. "Every day that you remained was agony for me, wanting so much to hold you, to comfort you, to-to make you mine-yet, I could not bear to be separated from you!"
I stared at him. "You seemed to bear our separation quite well," I said. "Two letters I've had from you-"
"Jessie, Jessie!" His voice was pleading. "When I went to the back country after the Harvest ball I did not intend to stay away for so long! But the trouble grew so bad, I felt that I must stay and stand with the clan! And then there was the fight, and my wound-"
"And what of the spring?" I said. "Was it only the lambing that kept you away, or was it something else? What excuse do you have, Robbie, for neglecting me-nay, your entire family!-for so long? Cathy has wept for missing you!"
"My excuse is that-" He lowered his head again, seemed to struggle for words again. He looked up at me. "We have built a house for us," he said.
I stared at him in confusion. "Who has built a house?" I said. "And for whom?"
He began to speak quickly, his words tumbling out at last. "You remember, Jessie, when we first arrived at Barraigh, and Hamish said that we would cut trees for a house for us, that we might live in the mountains! And I knew how afraid you were that I would agree, but Jessie, Jessie, please listen to me-I have built you a house, a lovely little house, it will be finished in the fall-and I must ask you-"
I opened my mouth.