A lump rose in my throat; this wrinkled and aging person was the beautiful woman I might take after!
I'm afraid I returned from church that day without the consolations of religion.
There followed an anxious time of experimenting. Some one had told me that lemon juice would exorcise freckles, and surreptitiously I tried it. How my face smarted after the heroic treatment, and how red and inflamed it looked! But then in a little while back came the freckles again and they stayed, too, until--but how they went, I am to tell you.
I wheedled from mother the privilege of daily wearing my coral beads--the ones my cousins Milly and Ethel Baker had sent me from New York--and had an angry fit of crying when one day, while we children were racing for the schoolhouse door at the end of recess, the string broke and they were nearly all trampled upon before I could pick them up.
Youth is buoyant. Next I begged the sheet lead linings of tea chests from the man who kept the general store, and cut them into little strips that I folded into hair-curlers, covering them with paper so that the edges should not cut. I would go to sleep at night with my short, dampened hair twisted around these contrivances, and in the morning comb it out and admire it as it stood about my head in a bushy mass, like the Circassian girl's at the circus.
Thus beautified, I happened one day to meet our white-headed old pastor! How he stared!
"Stand still a minute, Nelly, child, and let's look at you," he commanded. "Why, what have you been doing to yourself?"
The good man's accent wasn't admiring; sadly I realised the failure of my attempt to compel beauty. When I reached home I sternly soaked the curl out of my hair, brushed it flat and braided it into two exceedingly tight pig-tails. Ah, me! It's easy--afterwards--to laugh at the silent sorrows of childhood, bravely endured alone. At least, it's easy for me, now!
I began to worry Ma about my clothes. I grew ashamed of red-and-black, pin-checked woollen frocks, and sighed for prettier things. One of the girls wore at a Sunday school concert a gray and blue dress with many small ruffles, that seemed to me as elegant as a duchess could want. The children whispered that it had cost $20, and I wondered if I should ever again see raiment so wonderful. I knew that it was useless to ask for such a dress for myself; I should be told that I was not old enough for fine feathers.