But that wasn’t going to work. I had things to do, responsibilities to take care of. My mind jumped to Liam and I wondered how he’d done on his first night without his parents. Poor baby. I hoped he’d been all right.
There was a soft knock on my door and I sprang out of bed, wanting to keep Kona from waking up. I figured it was Mahina, with news about Liam, and threw the door open without bothering to put on a robe. And then nearly freaked out when I saw Sabyn standing there, looking like his night had been as restful as mine had been restless.
I guess you’re not quite ready to train? he asked, his eyes traveling over the short, waterproof nightie I was wearing. I could be wrong, but it looked like he lingered extralong on my legs. The jerk. Not that I would object if you wanted to wear that.
Seriously? Could you be more disgusting?
His smile faded. I thought we’d gotten past all that last night. But then, I guess Kona couldn’t just let things rest?
You didn’t actually think he would, did you?
No. Sabyn shook his head, and for the first time since I met him, he looked sad. Weary. Did he at least tell you it was an accident?
I shook my head to let him know I wasn’t going to talk about this. Not with him, no matter how much I wanted to know. I think you need to leave.
Okay. Why don’t you come with me?
Not right now. He smiled sadly and I felt compelled to add, I’m tired—it was a long night.
Oh yeah? He looked over my head, to where Kona slept in my bed. Tired yourself out, did you?
The smirk was back, and with its advent, all my sympathy went right out the window. Get lost, I told him, trying to shut the door in his face. At the last second he slapped a palm on the door, and though I pushed as hard as I could, the door didn’t budge.
What do you want? I asked with a sigh.
I know you want to trust your boyfriend, but there are two sides to every story.
Yeah, well, the only side I’m interested in is his, I lied.
I figured. His eyes gleamed wickedly. You know selkies can’t be trusted, don’t you?
Funny, he said the same thing about you.
I bet he did. But then, last night proved he’s not exactly rational on the subject, is he?
I don’t want to do this, Sabyn.
Why would you? Why rock your pretty little boat if you don’t have to, right? He let go of the door, stepped back. I’ll be in the park in an hour, if you can tear yourself away from lover boy. There is a war to fight, after all.
I know that, I snapped.
Of course you do. He winked. I just thought it’d be a good idea to remind you.
Well, thanks for that.
You’re welcome. He glanced behind my shoulder again, and this time, when he looked at me, there was a wicked glint in his eye. See you later, sweet Tempest. Then, before I could figure out what he was going to do, he leaned down and brushed his lips over my cheek.
I was so startled that it took me a second to shove him away. And when I finally did, my hand caught only air because he was already gone. But Kona … Kona was there, of course, right at my elbow, a black scowl darkening his face.
The second Kona turned his back, I swam away from Coral Straits like my tail was on fire. He’d been in the mercity three days, and I swear this was the first time since our fight—and Sabyn showing up at my door—that he’d let me out of his sight. He’d even tagged along to my training sessions—some with Sabyn and some on my own—as well as to my visits with Liam. On Liam’s second day in the refugee tents, I found his aunt, and he was settling in with her as well as could be expected. Still, I went by twice a day to check on him and make sure they had whatever they needed—and Kona insisted on coming with me.
He was seriously freaked out by just the thought of Sabyn being near me, convinced that the second he turned his back Sabyn would do something terrible. I knew he was only being so protective because he cared about me, but it was getting to the point where his motives didn’t matter. He was driving me completely and totally around-the-bend insane.
As I swam into open water for the first time since the refugees flooded Coral Straits, I knew exactly where I wanted to go. It was far enough away that my absence would probably make Kona nuts, but to be honest, I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not now, when he saw danger for me lurking around every corner.
Hopping on the current, I let it speed me to my mother’s cave. I’d been wanting to go back ever since I’d left, but I hadn’t been able to get there on my own. And, though I didn’t know why, it felt wrong to bring anyone else with me. I sensed that it had been my mother’s private place, and now it was mine.
I got through the cave more quickly this time, since I knew where I was going, and within a few minutes of entering the front room, I was in the cavern I thought of as belonging to Cecily. It looked exactly as I remembered, which surprised me. I don’t know why, except that the three days that had passed felt more like three hundred.
After creating enough light to see by, I spent a few minutes swimming around the chamber, looking not at the pearls and sea glass, but at the beautiful carvings on the wall. I recognized my mother’s subtle touch in the artwork, knew it well from the paintings she used to do when I was young. I had spent a great deal of my artistic life trying to imitate that style, but had never gotten it quite right. Seeing it here now touched me like few things ever had.
Floating all the way to the ceiling, I traced my fingers along one of the scenes that was carved up there. It was a picture of my mother with Hailana. I’d never seen the merQueen look better, and couldn’t help wondering how long ago this picture had been done and if she had ever really looked that good or if my mother had taken creative license.
Either way, she and my mom looked really happy—exactly like two best friends should. Which, to be honest, disturbed me. I thought of the people I’d been close friends with in my life—Mark, Brianna, Mickey, Logan, Bach, Skeeter, Tony, and now Kona and Mahina. I was friends with them because they were nice and cool and because we had a lot in common. We thought about the world in the same way.
I glanced back at my mom and Hailana. Eight months ago, when I thought the merQueen was just a frail, benevolent old woman, this picture might have reassured me. But now that I knew the truth—that she was, in her own way, nearly as twisted as Tiamat—it scared me that my mother had been such good friends with her.
Backing away from the pictures, I dived deep and didn’t stop until I’d gotten to the shelves of pearls. I reached for an iridescent pink one that was only about the size of a pea, then stopped at the last minute. I wanted to know what memory was there—wanted to know everything I could about my mother—but I had to admit I was a little scared, both emotionally and physically.
Last time had hurt more than anything I could ever remember, and I wasn’t keen on reliving that pain. At the same time, though, I knew I would be forever locked in this emotional quagmire concerning my mother if I didn’t try to understand her.
Closing my eyes, I gathered my courage and then, moving forward, I grabbed the pearl.
Immediately, the pain overtook me, but it was different this time. Colder. As if Cecily had taken all of her emotions, all of her misgivings, and walled them behind a sheet of thick, unwavering ice.
I shivered. It felt like I was pressed, full body, up against that ice. No big deal at first, just a little nippy, but after a few minutes it began to ache and then burn until the frigid touch of the ice worked itself inside of me. Until that innocuous skin-to-cold contact became almost unbearable.