“So your family threw you out?”
“Yeah... No.” I inhale, then let the air out. “My dad and I don’t get along. We haven’t for years. My sister was in a bad accident and she’s in the hospital and he blames me.”
Haley puts the plate on the floor and kneels beside me. “Were you driving?”
“No. Dad was, but I was the reason why Rachel was where she was at. She was in trouble and needed money and if it wasn’t for me...” How do I explain my messed-up family? “I let Rach down. I let my whole family down.”
She weaves her fingers through mine, but my hand remains limp on the floor. “Have you ever thought they let you down?”
There’s a pain inside me that’s worse than an ache. It’s continual and I’ve fought it night after night. “I failed.”
“I may not understand everything going on with you, but I can’t imagine failing at anything that’s worth being thrown out over. Whatever it is, it’s not your fault.”
“It is.” My fingers tighten around hers, hating the truth, hating that Haley persistently sees my weaknesses. “I promise I won’t fail you.”
“I know you won’t.” She tilts her head and the dull lamplight creates a halo around her hair. Haley is gorgeous and strong and kind and she’s more than I deserve. “It’s late and I’ve got to be up early. We should sleep.”
I nod and join Haley as she stands. She flitters her hand at a pair of pajama bottoms and I turn to give her the privacy she needs. The sound of cotton shifting off her body makes me close my eyes. If I turn, would she be naked? I imagine her beautiful curves.
“Okay.” She wears pink flannel bottoms and a matching tank top. Her hair falls over her nearly bare shoulders. Talk about breathtaking.
Haley crawls onto the bed and lifts the comforter up as if inviting me in.
“I can take the floor.”
“Well, you are my boyfriend.” The tease in her voice causes me to chuckle. The window rattles again and the gust penetrates the frame. “I don’t have another blanket or pillow and the temperature will drop up here. Besides...I trust you, West.”
I flip off the lamp and the space heater follows with a click, leaving us in the dark. The air mattress dips with my weight and I take my time unlacing my shoes and slipping them off.
Thank God it’s not a twin mattress or we’d be on top of each other—literally. Haley lies beside me, curtain-rod straight, and I knot my hands over my stomach. At home, I slept in my boxers. Because of the past two weeks, I’m getting used to sleeping with everything on.
“Where are you going to stay tomorrow?” she asks into the darkness.
“I don’t know.”
Under the covers, her fingers find mine and I clutch hers with both hands. There’s something intimate about lying here with Haley. Maybe it’s because I’ve been alone, but honestly, it’s her. Sleeping in my car, I’ve had a lot of time to think and even though the silence is new, the loneliness isn’t. How is it possible to have been surrounded by people and never feel complete?
“This is a huge risk for me,” she says. “If we get caught, my uncle would throw my entire family out onto the street. I wish I could offer you more than tonight.”
Lacing our fingers together, I tug on her hand until she allows me to move it up and out of the warmth of the blanket. Not knowing or understanding why, I kiss her hand. The skin is smooth and tastes sweet, just like her constant smell of flowers. My lips linger much longer than needed, and then I guide her palm back to my chest, right next to my beating heart.
Chapter 31
Haley
My mouth goes dry. No one has kissed me since Matt. No one kissed me before Matt. I avoid thoughts of kisses and of dating and of boyfriends and relationships, because the last time didn’t work out so well. But Matt never kissed me like that, not even when I gave him my virginity.
Never did he kiss me in such a way that my insides bloomed, or in a way that I saw color in darkness, or in a way that made me want to kiss anyone back like how West kissed me. It wasn’t even on the lips; it was on my hand. I inhale deeply to calm my breathing. Just wow.
“Will you tell me what happened?” West rolls, and, even in the darkness, I sense him staring at me.
I stiffen and my head pops up. “What?”
“With your family. Will you tell me how you ended up here?”
“Oh, yeah.” I sink back into the mattress. For a second, I thought he was asking about me and Matt. “My dad was an engineer and my mom stayed at home. He was laid off a year ago last Christmas. There was some unemployment and some savings, but we got behind on everything and my younger sister had an emergency appendectomy and then we found out the insurance had lapsed and everything turned into a huge mess. Dad couldn’t find a job. Then he got depressed and whatever dollar store job he did take, he couldn’t keep. We lost everything.”
My hand slams against the air mattress, the anger still as fresh as it was when I found out. I pull on my hand and West lets me go. “It’s... I hate them, you know? My dad worked at that company for twenty years and, poof, they decide it’s cheaper to move to Mexico.”
There’s silence from West. I’m probably freaking him out. I cover my face with my hands. Oh, God, that was too much information. He scratches the top of his head and asks, “Who did your dad work for?”
“It was a small factory, bought and sold many times. I think the last name they had was Sillgo.”