Three days after Grant had disappeared, I was outside swimming. Today I had successfully managed to push all thoughts of Grant to the back of my mind. So when my head broke the water to find Grant Carter standing there, looking down at me, I wasn’t sure if I was imagining things or if he was really there.
I pushed my wet hair back and wiped the water from my eyes. Then I opened them again, and there he stood. Still there.
“Hey,” he said with his sexy grin. I wanted to hurl something at him to make that smile go away. It needed a warning label, too.
I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. “Nan isn’t here,” I replied. She hadn’t been back since she’d left for Rosemary the last time. I was sure that was where Grant had run off to as well. He had gone to find her. Like he always did.
“Yeah, I know,” he replied.
I really should’ve gone back to swimming and ignored him. It was the smart thing to do. But then he could possibly take that as an invitation to join me. “What do you need?” I asked, in the most annoyed tone I could muster.
“I came to see you. It seems once a guy kisses you, you’re hard to forget,” he replied.
Not what I had been expecting. I swallowed the nervous knot in my throat. I would cave and forgive him too easily if he started saying things like that. Where had my backbone gone? I used to be stronger than this.
“You’re mad because I left,” he said.
I thought about retorting and changed my mind. That would only give him more power. He didn’t need to know he affected me at all.
“It was a jackass thing to do. But you scared me. I like to flirt with beautiful girls, but I don’t handle it well when one simple kiss makes my fucking head spin. You make me want things and feel a certain way. I’m not ready for that.”
I was expecting a lame I’m sorry; not that. “Oh,” was the only thing I could come up with. What did it mean, exactly, that our kiss made his head spin? Was that a good thing? It sounded like it . . . maybe.
Grant ran a hand through his long, unruly hair and let out a frustrated sigh. “I shouldn’t have left you without an explanation. It was unfair and I was only thinking of myself. I’m good at that. I just . . . what can I do to get you to forgive me?”
He still wasn’t asking for forgiveness. He was asking how to get forgiveness. Had anyone ever asked me how to get forgiveness before? How . . . unique.
Warning bells were going off in my head loudly, but somehow I ignored that. Because my heart wanted to forgive him. I didn’t want to push him away. No one ever took this much time to get to know me. Being lonely was something I had grown used to. Having someone here who wanted to get to know me bad enough to admit he was wrong, someone who cared to ask me how he could fix it, meant more than he realized.
“Don’t do it again,” I replied.
Grant’s eyes went wide and then a slow smile slid across his handsome face. “I won’t.”
I stepped back as he started tugging his shirt over his head. He threw it aside and slipped off his shoes, and then his eyes lifted to meet mine. “I’m not leaving this time. When you get tired of me, you’ll have to force me out.”
I couldn’t keep the silly smile off my face.
Two months and two weeks ago . . .
When the door to my room clicked behind us, I knew this was it. For a week, we had been kissing and touching. It was hard for us to keep our hands off each other. Grant made me feel things I didn’t know were possible. He showed me what a real orgasm was. He had also taught me that screaming out in pleasure was okay. He liked it when I was loud. It always made him more frantic. His breathing would accelerate and his eyes would almost glow from excitement.
But tonight, I wanted more. I wasn’t going to stop things when they got too far. I wasn’t going to make him keep my shirt on. I was going to let us do what we both wanted. I was twenty years old. It was time I became a real woman and had sex. I was holding on to my virginity like some grand prize, and I wanted to experience a total connection with another human being. I wanted to know what it felt like to have Grant inside me. To get as close to each other as possible. I wanted this experience.
Grant’s arms wrapped around me from behind as his mouth touched my neck and began taking small nibbles. That always made my knees a little weak. “You taste too damn good,” he whispered in my ear, making me tremble. “I want your shirt off. I’ve been thinking about pulling one of your nipples into my mouth all week.”
His hands found my hem and pulled my shirt up over my head, then he unsnapped my bra. He pulled it from my body and froze. I knew he would see it. I was prepared for that. His hand reached out and ran along the line across my chest that was so faint now, it wasn’t even very noticeable.
“What is this?” he asked.
“I was a preemie. I was born ten weeks too early. I had some surgeries before I was in the clear.” I didn’t want to explain anymore. He didn’t need to know the truth. That was enough. He lowered his mouth to my chest and instead of kissing my breasts he kissed the scar. I closed my eyes because it made me feel guilty for not being completely honest. Then both his large, tanned hands covered my breasts and I sighed from the pleasure of it.
“Does that feel good, pretty girl?”
I managed a nod as he began to kiss my neck and squeeze my nipples gently.
“That’s it, baby, arch that back for me.”
I hadn’t even realized I was doing it but I was. I couldn’t get close enough to his touch. The way he made me feel was intoxicating. I craved it. Grant had opened up this world to me with so much pleasure and excitement that I hadn’t realized existed.
“Lie down on your back. I want to kiss these needy little nipples.”
I didn’t argue. I wanted it, too. I climbed on the bed and lay back just in time to see Grant pull his shirt over his head. See the tattoo on his shoulder that came down over his right pec. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was sexy. It looked like some sort of tribal print. Then some Chinese symbols were on his chest just above his pecs. I planned on asking him about them, but not now.
He reached for his jeans and unbuttoned them. I was fascinated with his lower abdomen. All those tight ripples in his stomach, the way his hipbones stuck out, and the small patch of hair that started low, just under the band of his underwear. I wanted to see exactly what it looked like under there, but until tonight I hadn’t gotten a chance. Grant always got my panties off but he said he needed to keep his pants on if he was going to keep his head straight. I didn’t push. But I wanted to see.
I lay there as he crawled over me and stared down at me with a sexy, hungry look in his eyes. He didn’t break his gaze as he lowered his mouth to my breast and pulled a nipple into his mouth. I watched him. It made my stomach quiver and I had to squeeze my legs together to ease the ache between them.
He let it pop out of his mouth, then stuck his tongue out and flicked it with a grin before moving over and giving the other one the same attention.
I grabbed handfuls of the covers underneath me to keep from crying out. It felt so good. The warmth of his mouth anywhere on my body was amazing, but when he found the sensitive areas it made it even more incredible.
When that nipple popped free of his mouth he started kissing down my stomach, and I knew his next step would be to pull my shorts off. He would use his mouth to send me flying off into bliss. I wanted more than that tonight.
“Take off your pants,” I said.
He froze and his eyes lifted back to me as he pressed a kiss just below my belly button. “You know the rules. I can’t do that. I don’t trust myself.”
I swallowed against the nervous knot in my throat. “I want . . . I want you to take your pants off. I’m not worried about keeping you from doing anything . . .” I wasn’t sure how you told a guy you were ready. I hadn’t ever been in that position before.
Grant frowned for a moment, then his eyes flashed with that bright, excited gleam he would get when I came down from the highs he sent me on. “Are you telling me I can finally feel just how fucking amazing you are?”
I had been prepared for him to say fuck me or screw me but this . . . this was better. It was real. Calling it anything more or making it romantic would cheapen it somehow. This was about mutual attraction, and I got that. I didn’t need pretty words that he didn’t mean. I needed honesty, and he seemed to get that.
Grant moved over me and placed a hand on each side of my head as he looked down into my eyes. “We don’t have to do this. I’m not asking for it. If you aren’t ready, I’m good with that. I’ll wait.”
Because of that reason alone, I was ready. He meant what he was saying. He didn’t want to push me. “I want this . . . I want you.”
“Fuck,” Grant growled and pushed himself off the bed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom. I wasn’t sure what I thought about that but I was glad he was prepared, even if it bothered me a little bit. He tossed it on the bed. Then, finally, I got to see him unzip his jeans. He let them fall to the floor along with the white boxer briefs he was wearing. I gasped. I had felt it through his jeans many times; once I had rubbed against it until I’d gotten off. But never had I imagined it was so . . . big. I wasn’t sure it was going to fit.
He didn’t leave me time to get too worried about it. He reached up and pulled off my shorts and panties with one firm tug, then he was back on the bed. His hands took both my knees and moved my legs apart. I hadn’t been ready for him to just go at it. I needed to be eased into this . . .
Grant began kissing the inside of my leg, and he slowly made his way to where I wanted his mouth the most. Once his kiss pressed the top of my mound and I felt his tongue take a long slow trail down to my core, I was ready. My hands clenched the covers as I cried out in relief as he pulled my clit into his mouth.
The first time he’d done this, I’d been embarrassed until he had me crying out and panting from the highest level of pleasure. But he hadn’t let up—he’d done it again. When he’d left me that night I’d been exhausted and unable to move.
I had no one to compare him to, but I was positive that Grant was an expert at this. I didn’t want to dwell on that, either. But the fact was he knew what he was doing. He could make me lose control, and I never lost control.
I felt the familiar building and tightening inside me and my body got excited. It knew how good it felt to reach that height that Grant took me to so easily. Then he stopped and I wanted to scream in protest. I was almost there.
He moved up my body, pressing kisses on my warm, sensitive skin as he worked his way up to my neck.
“I’m gonna put that condom on now,” he whispered as he moved over to grab the small packet I’d forgotten about. He ripped it open and I took in the sight of him rolling the protective covering over his large length.
“You look scared,” he said, not moving back to me. I lifted my eyes to look up at him.
“Will it fit?” I asked.
A crooked grin tugged at his lips. “Yes, sweet girl. It will.”
I wasn’t so sure. He seemed optimistic.
Grant went back to kissing my neck and nibbling my ear as his body lowered between my open legs. I was going to do this. I wanted it.
“You seem tense. Have you had a bad experience?” Grant asked with a frown, puckering his brow. He looked upset.
I shook my head. No, I hadn’t had a bad experience. I had no experience. Didn’t he know that? I mean, we hadn’t talked about it but surely he had figured it out by now.
“It’s just, I know what to expect, I think . . . from what I’ve heard.”
His entire body went rigid as he held himself over me. His frown transformed into a look of surprise. “What are you saying? Of course you’ve . . .”
He didn’t know. I guess he hadn’t figured it out after all. “This is my first time.”