“Lie back. I want you to keep your hands flat on the table, and I don’t want you to remove them. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I answer, lying back on the wood. I flatten my palms out next to me and wait for my next instruction. I feel his body settle between my legs as his hands slide up my thighs, teasing the bottom of my dress.
“Do you know the exact moment I knew I loved you?”
I gasp softly, not expecting him to go there right now. Not at all anticipating him using my question to him on me. My body and mind are prepared for sex, completely primed and ready, even if it is in a way I’ve never experienced before. But this? His words I cherish more than anything he could possibly give me? I’m not at all prepared for this admission.
I don’t answer; I’m not sure I can right now. Every muscle in my body is taut and I keep finding myself holding my breath, not wanting my suddenly erratic breathing to muffle what he’s about to tell me. This might very well top the vows we’re going to be saying to each other in two days. And we picked out some pretty emotional ones. I cry every time I read through them.
“You’re nervous,” he states. “Is this something you don’t want to know?”
I smile, releasing my bottom lip from between my teeth. “No, I do. Of course I do. I just wasn’t expecting you to get all sweet on me right now.”
“It’ll be brief,” he replies. “You told me when you knew, so it’s only fair you know how long it’s been for me.” His hands move up my body on top of my dress, skimming over my breasts. The weight of his touch feels different now that I can’t watch him. All my energy is focused on his hands and where they might go. One palm flattens on my chest, resting there.
“What are you doing?” I ask when he doesn’t move his hand.
“I want to feel you react to what I’m about to tell you.”
I shudder underneath him. “Okay.”
He gives me a few seconds to calm down a bit. I need it. If he wants to feel my reaction, then my heart rate needs to slow the hell down. I take in several calming breaths, feeling everything settle.
And then, he speaks.
“I knew I loved you when you sent me that text, asking if I would stop whatever I was doing to come to you and I didn’t have to think about it. At all. Dylan, before I even finished reading your question, I was grabbing my keys and heading to the door.”
I feel my tears being absorbed into the material of the tie. Not being able to see him while he tells me this is doing things to me. I’m purely focused on his voice and the raw honesty in it, not his eyes that usually hold onto me. I feel like my entire body is quivering beneath him while I try to anticipate his words. And I know he’s feeling my reaction to him. My heart is slamming so hard against my sternum my bones feel like they’re vibrating.
“Love,” he continues in a much softer voice, “I could’ve been on the other side of the country and I would’ve found a way to get to you if you asked me. Nothing was more important to me than you. And nothing ever will be. You said you knew you loved me on my birthday, right?”
“Mmm hmm.” I reach up and wipe the tear that’s escaping from underneath the blindfold. “Why?”
“Because I think you loved me that night, too.”
There’s no stopping the tears now. It’s a useless act. I nod repeatedly as I reach up and cover my face with my hands. I’m crying because he’s right. I did love him then. I knew it when I had to see him that night after being so damn adamant about not seeing that much of each other. But I was determined to fight those feelings, and I buried them deep. But he knew. He always knew.
“When I opened my door and saw you standing there, I knew it wasn’t just me. Even though you would’ve never admitted it, you loved me then, too.”
My entire body shakes with my cries, and I feel his palm slide up my chest and around my neck. He grips me there, pulling me to a sitting position. I drop my hands to bury my face in his neck but stop when I feel the tie being pulled down. My eyes slowly flutter open, adjusting to the light as his thumbs wipe away my tears.
“I did love you then,” I whisper, fisting his dress shirt as he cradles my face in his hands. I sniffle loudly, slowly calming myself and staring into his bright green eyes. “I was so scared to love you, but I did. You’re kind of impossible not to fall in love with, damn it.”
He laughs, running his finger along the tie, which is now around my neck. “I love how you reacted to that. Your heartbeat sped up like crazy.”
“Well, that’s nothing new. If you’re in the same room as me, it goes haywire.” I strain my neck to steal a kiss. “Thank you for telling me that.”
“You’re welcome. Now,” his hands trail down my side, stopping at my waist. “We need to go upstairs and get a new tie. You soaked this one.”
I cock my head to the side, arching my brow and going to the dirtiest place in my head because he’s easily set me up for it.
He notices my reaction and smiles. “Go ahead. Say it.”
“Say what?”
“You know what.”
“Nope. Sorry. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Really? I find it hard to believe that right now, you’re not dying to say something involving the word ‘soaked’.”
I giggle, dropping my gaze to the buttons on his dress shirt. I tease them with my fingers. “It sounds to me like you’re the one with the perverted mind right now. Not me.”