“Yes, Mom,” Serena mumbled.
They fussed, bullied, pinched and prodded until she ate every single thing they put on the plate they prepared for her. She dreaded the end of the meal because she knew that was when they’d start in with the demand for answers. But to her surprise, they bundled her off to bed.
“Get some sleep, Serena,” Faith urged. “We’ll be here when you wake up. You’re done running yourself into the ground.”
Serena nodded to acknowledge she’d heard, but she was already going under.
Julie glanced over at Faith and held her finger to her lips then angled her head toward the door. They walked outside and shut the bedroom door before returning to the living room.
“I need to call Damon,” Faith said. “He’s been worried sick about her.”
“And Gray. He wasn’t crazy about you coming down here without him,” Julie said.
Faith shivered. “I wasn’t so crazy about it myself but at least it’s not the same beach house. Damon sold the one where Gray was shot.”
“Do you think we’re doing the right thing?” Julie asked. “I can’t decide, and yet I know we couldn’t stand by and watch her self-destruct. Hell, Faith, what are we going to do when she wakes up? I don’t have the answers.”
Faith paused in the act of taking out her cell phone. “Honestly? I don’t think Serena is going to get better until she and Damon are together again.”
“Did I mention that I hate meddling friends?” Julie grumbled. “I hate being one even more. It was her decision, Faith. We can’t make her go back to Damon.”
“I told her to give him up,” Faith said painfully. “I should have stayed out of it.”
“Oh, shut up. Serena didn’t leave Damon because you told her to, and if she did, she’s a bigger dumbass than I thought.”
Faith leveled a glare at her. “You know, Julie, it’s amazing Serena and I haven’t cut your throat. If I were you, I’d sleep real light tonight.”
“Call your man and then call Damon. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man so worried over a woman. Made me all gooey inside.”
“Let’s just hope this works,” Faith said as she punched the keypad of her phone.
CHAPTER 34
Sunlight speared her right through her eyeball as soon as Serena cracked one eyelid open. With a groan, she turned so that the sun was out of her face. Her gaze fell on the clock and she saw it was straight-up noon.
Every muscle in her body grimaced when she tried to move so she just lay there listening to the distant sounds of the gulf. A seagull’s cry echoed right outside the window followed by another and still another.
Peace. Such an elusive, sweet creature. It mocked her at every turn.
Faith and Julie waited outside that door and Serena wasn’t ready to go yet. She burrowed deeper under the covers, sleep still lurking close on the horizon. It was tempting to retreat and sleep until she forgot, until the pain and sadness went away. But she’d already proven herself the world’s biggest coward.
With a sigh, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood. She registered that she was still in yesterday’s clothes about the time she saw the jeans and T-shirt lying on the dresser against the wall.
Apparently she should add breaking and entering to the list of crimes that Julie and Faith were accumulating. They’d obviously raided her apartment before abducting her and carting her off to the beach.
A smile softened the strain around her lips. They were the best. They’d drag her back into the world kicking and screaming, they’d listen to her cry and bitch and wail, but then they’d tell her to shut the fuck up and get over it.
She collected her clothes and headed for the bathroom that adjoined the bedroom they’d stuffed her in. After a quick shower, she almost felt human again. She dressed and then ducked back in her room to get the light windbreaker she’d worn the night before.
Her hand found the arm band again, and she traced the outline through the jacket sleeve. She closed her eyes, determined not to give in to the grief hurtling through her mind. She steadied her composure and then shuffled down the hall, ready to face her kidnappers.
The living room was quiet and empty, but as Serena glanced out the glass doors leading to the wooden deck overlooking the ocean, she saw Faith and Julie sprawled in loungers, drinks in hand.
She squared her shoulders, sucked in a breath and headed for the door. As soon as she slid it open, Julie and Faith both sat up and turned to look at her.
“Well, you look better,” Julie said bluntly. “Not that you look great, but definitely a step above hammered horse shit.”
Serena smiled wryly. “Thanks, Julie.”
Faith got up and took her arm and immediately herded her toward a lounger. “Sit,” she insisted. Then she turned to Julie. “Get her some juice and something to eat. Then we’ll make her talk.”
Serena laughed and marveled at how weird it sounded. “Will there be pain involved?”
“Only if you clam up on us,” Julie said as she headed inside.
Serena took the lounger Julie had vacated and leaned back, directing her face into the sun. Warmth spread over her skin, but oddly, she still felt cold on the inside.
“What happened, Serena?” Faith asked quietly.
“I stopped trying to sell rainbows and wishes.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means I’m through dealing in fantasies, Faith.”
“But what about your business? Your clients? Serena, you’ve made so many people happy.”
Serena closed her eyes. Except for her. In that she’d failed miserably and hurt a good man in the process.
“Okay so what did I miss?” Julie asked as she came back out. She plopped a plate on Serena’s lap, forcing her to open her eyes again. Then she held out a glass of juice.
“Apparently Serena is done with Fantasy Incorporated,” Faith said darkly.
“Say what?”
“I’m selling the business,” Serena said calmly.
“But why?” Julie demanded. “This was your brainchild, your baby.”
“Not anymore,” Serena said softly. “Someone else can take over and do the same. It’s just not for me anymore. I’m tired of . . . fantasy. It’s not real. Nothing was.”
“Okay, are we talking about your clients here or are we talking about you and Damon?” Faith asked.
Serena’s hands trembled around her glass of juice, causing it to slosh precariously close to the rim. She sat forward and placed the glass on the leg rest of the lounger and set her plate down on the deck. “Damon deserves someone who isn’t playing games,” she whispered. “Someone not out for fantasy and cheap thrills.”
Faith sighed. “Serena, you only gave it a week. Then you ran like the hounds of hell were after you.”
Serena dropped her head and put her hands over her face. “I love him, Faith.”
“Whoa, back up,” Julie interjected. “I was with you up until that part. You love the guy—after only one week, mind you—but instead of sticking around to see how things work out, you dump him? Makes perfect sense to me.”
“You don’t understand,” Serena said as she raised her head again.
Faith leaned forward on her chair and took Serena’s hand in hers. “Then make us understand, Serena. Because you’re obviously miserable. You’ve been avoiding us. You’re not eating. You’re not sleeping. And Julie’s right. You look like hell warmed over. It has to stop.”
“How do you stop loving someone?” Serena asked. “I don’t even know if it’s him I love or if I’m in love with the fantasy he gave me. Do you see my problem now? And how am I supposed to believe he loves me when I never gave him the real me, the real Serena? He loves a fantasy. He loves the ideal I sold him.”
Faith expelled a long breath. Even Julie had nothing to say for once. Finally Faith scooted in closer to Serena and looked her hard in the eye.
“Are you sure you didn’t give him the real Serena?” Faith asked gently. “Is the thought of what he wants so abhorrent to you?”
“It was a game,” Serena said. “A role I played, a role he played.”
Faith held up her hand. “Whatever you may think about your actions, let me assure you that Damon never played a role. What you saw, what you got, was Damon. He doesn’t play games. Yes, he entered into the agreement but it was because you wanted what he could give you. He didn’t have to act, Serena. That’s the real Damon.”
“Look, I appreciate what you guys are trying to do. Believe me. But I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to rehash it because that’s all I’ve done for the past week. I just want to forget.”
Even as she said it, a cold chill snaked through her veins, and she clutched the jacket tighter around her. Maybe she was coming down with a bug. God knew she hadn’t been taking care of herself worth a damn.
Damon would have taken care of you. He would have never let you get so run-down.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. It wasn’t Damon’s responsibility to take care of her. It was hers.
“Can you forget?” Faith asked. “Really? Or are you instead going to screw up the best thing that’s ever happened to you because you’re afraid?”
Serena gave her friend a startled look. “Afraid?”
“Yeah, afraid. Afraid that if you put your faith, your well-being, your entire self in Damon’s hands, that he’ll let you down, that he’ll screw up.”
“Serena, if that’s the case, then you’ll never have a relationship with a man,” Julie said with a sigh. “Believe me, I know. I’m not sure that fear ever goes away. We’re women. We’re conditioned to fear betrayal, I think. Or at least it feels that way.”
“It’s not that,” Serena said quietly. “Damon wouldn’t hurt me. I know that. I’m afraid I can’t be what he needs. I’m afraid I’ll hurt him.”
Faith sighed. “Shouldn’t you let Damon decide whether or not he wants to take the risk?”
Serena had no answer for that. The question discomfited her because it was too close to the truth. She’d taken the decision out of Damon’s hands entirely.
She buried her face in her hands. She was so damn tired. She wanted to sleep for a year.
Faith squeezed her leg and got up from her chair. Serena glanced up to see her check her watch and exchange glances with Julie.
“We’ve got to run to the store to stock up on supplies,” Julie said. “Why don’t you stay here and hang out in the sun. We won’t be gone too long.”
Serena nodded. “Thanks, guys. Really.”
Faith leaned down to hug her. “We just want you to get better.”
“If you had a rewind button, that would be cool,” Serena said with a crooked grin.
Faith looked at her with serious eyes. “Would you really go back and erase what you had with Damon if you could?”
Serena stared out over the water, watching as the waves rolled into shore and then retreated. “No,” she said honestly. “I wouldn’t trade that week for the world.”
CHAPTER 35
Damon pulled up to his beach house and cut the engine. As he got out, he saw Julie and Faith coming down the steps of the house. They looked grim and worried.
Faith came to him immediately and gave him a hug. “She’s not doing well, Damon. She needs you.”
Did she? He sure as hell needed her. He wanted her. But he had no idea what Serena wanted.
“Where is she?” he asked quietly.
“We left her on the deck,” Julie said tersely. “She’s a mess. She’s talking about selling her business. It’s like she’s given up.”
Damon closed his eyes. Had he done this to her? Made her so desperately unhappy?
“Go to her,” Faith said softly. “Convince her, Damon. She’s so afraid.”
He almost laughed. Afraid didn’t even come close to describing his feelings. He was absolutely terrified. Terrified that he’d fail, and that he’d leave without her.
“We’re gonna go,” Julie said. “Call us if you need us, okay?”
“Thank you,” he said to them both. “You’re good friends to Serena. She’s lucky to have you. If I have my way, she’ll be leaving with me.”
He watched as they got into Faith’s car and drove away, and then he turned back to stare at the beach house. Faith had told him on the phone that Serena was exhausted, hadn’t eaten and looked like hell. He wanted to walk in, turn her over his knee and spank her ass for not taking better care of herself, but that wasn’t going to win him any points in his pursuit.
Instead he was stuck walking on tiptoe until he could find a way to persuade Serena that she belonged to him and they belonged together.