One of his hands moved down to the back of my knee and bent it, angling my leg outward so he could kiss my inner thigh. I moaned loud enough to shock myself, and felt his teeth again. My fingers raked into his hair, clutching him as everything inside me tightened.
Suddenly a cold, sobering thought jabbed my mind: the sword. Would it see this moment as some sort of rebellion against my “purity”? Had I gone too far? I had no idea where to draw the line when it came to the sword and its judgment.
“Kai,” I gasped. “I . . . I . . . you have to stop.”
In a heartbeat he was standing, his eyes searching mine. His heated gaze darted around my face, taking in my shallow breaths and flushed skin. With the confidence of a guy who knows how to drive a girl crazy, he pushed his hips against mine and I let my head fall back against the dryer, stifling a groan. The near pleasure was almost painful, but he didn’t pull away. He nibbled my earlobe and I clutched my hands around his back. My body had never felt so desperate.
“Let me touch you,” he whispered. “Just on the outside. Let me make you feel good.”
Oh, my gosh. I had never, ever wanted anything more.
His hand slid down my lower belly. I wanted to cry as I forced my head to shake side to side. “No. No, we can’t.”
“What is it?” He stepped back and a look of panicked regret crossed his face. “I’m sorry, Anna—”
“No.” I bent down and snatched my clothes from the floor, yanking them on. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I’m not sorry.”
I reached out for his hand and pulled us together in a hug. He held me hesitantly, which only made me squeeze him tighter. I pressed my cheek against his bare chest.
“You’re shaking,” he said.
“Yeah, well, my body is pretty angry at me right now,” I admitted with a dry laugh. “But I don’t want to take any chances when it comes to the hilt.”
He froze up at the mention of the sword of righteousness. “You think it’s that sensitive?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “It’s meant for angels, you know?”
The whole “pure of heart” thing still wasn’t 100 percent clear to me. Angels didn’t have bodies, but for Neph and humans the mind and body were linked in many ways, like it or not. The sword seemed pretty strict and I didn’t want to take any chances when it came to getting rid of the Dukes.
“Are you okay?” I asked, tilting my head up to see his face. He rubbed my cheek, still seeming surprised that he could touch me openly with such tenderness.
“Don’t worry about me. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I put my arms around his neck, looking him straight in the eyes.
“You didn’t. I love you. I want all that with you. Maybe someday?”
His eyes closed and the muscle at his temple flexed; I knew he was afraid to hope. I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips. I wanted to lighten the mood and make him stop feeling bad. And make me stop thinking about his mouth all over me.
“I think I need chocolate,” I said.
That got a laugh out of him.
Then I asked, “Will you make me some brownies?”
He pulled away and narrowed his eyes. “Me?”
“It’s my turn to watch you cook.”
That earned me a very sexy half grin.
“Special brownies?” he asked.
My heart flipped. “Don’t even joke.” I lightly punched his stomach, which I shouldn’t have because my senses were still fluttering around on a tightrope and his abs were a mass of yummy.
“I assume you actually want to be able to eat these brownies?”
Taking his hand again, I walked us down the hall. If Marna and Ginger could learn their way around a kitchen, so could Kai. “It’s a box mix. You can’t mess it up. I’ll supervise.”
I climbed up on the counter, bare feet dangling. The surface felt cool on the backs of my thighs.
“Here you go,” I said, handing him the box next to me.
He sighed and read the directions, letting me teach him how to set the oven. He smashed the egg in his man hands, but we picked out the pieces of shell. I clapped when the brownies went in the oven and he set the timer.
He leaned against the stove. I could tell he was still feeling bad about what had happened, and I didn’t want that. I was still a little freaked out, too, mostly about the fear of the hilt, but I didn’t want it to put a damper on our whole night together.
“The best part of cleanup is the bowl,” I told him.
I swept a finger inside the bowl and licked the batter off. Kaidan contemplated the gooey mixture a moment before doing the same. Soon we were in a battle for batter, elbowing each other out of the way and laughing. I distracted him with a wet fingertip in his ear and got the last bit of chocolate.
“Urgh, you play nasty!” he complained, wiping out his ear with the sleeve of his T-shirt.
I was giggling hard by this point. Sometime during our battle, he’d ended up between my knees. My sitting on the counter put us at eye level. I tried to scoot back a little, but he put both hands on top of my thighs to stop me.
“It’s okay,” he told me. “I’m in control right now.”
Right now.
My fingers curled around the edge of the counter to steady myself as he brought his hands to my face, running a fingertip down the slope of my nose and around the curve of my chin, sliding back up to pet the freckle above my lip. His attention made me feel gorgeous and alive.