“Maybe if there were only a couple, but there were five pissed-off psychos with weapons! I couldn’t just stand there and watch!”
Kaidan, exasperated, pivoted like he was going to walk away, raked his fingers through his hair, and turned to me again.
“What did you think you could do?” he asked. “You got in a lucky shot when you racked him, but what if it hadn’t worked? As you saw today your mind powers don’t always work!”
Ah. He had no idea what I was capable of now. I held a hand out. “Give me your knife.”
His eyebrows went together. “What?”
“Just give it to me.” I stepped closer, feeling edgy.
“No, Anna, I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but this is ridic—”
My movements were fast as I went for him full force, using all my body weight and strength to hook a foot behind his knee and slam my palm into his shoulder. He landed on his back with a surprised oof and I crouched over him.
“Give me your knife,” I said again.
“Holy . . .” Blake let out a long whistle from where he watched at the rail.
Kaidan lay there with a whimsical sort of look and said, “God, that was hot.”
I held out my hand. This time he fished the knife from his waistband and placed the onyx handle in my palm. From my crouched position I momentarily eyed a wooden bird statue perched at the top of the deck rail twenty feet away, then let the cool metal fly from my fingers. It spun through the air with a sound like rapid wing beats, then a whump as it stuck into the side of the bird’s head.
“Dude!” Blake yelled.
Beneath me, where Kaidan lay, burst a vivid cloud of red so brief I wondered if I’d imagined it. I stared down at him in shock.
“You showed your colors!” I said.
“Did not.” He pushed himself up and we both stood.
“You totally let ’em out, brah,” Blake told him with a grin.
“Shut up.”
When he peered down at me I said, “I’ve been training. I’m not completely helpless anymore.”
“I can see that,” he murmured.
We stood there, facing each other. Too much was between us, pulling us together at the same time as it pushed us apart. Our need for each other would always be in constant battle with our need to keep the other safe.
“I get it now, okay? Everything you’ve always tried to warn me about, I get. Today was . . .” I cleared my throat. “I came here and said what I needed to say. Now I have to go. I mean it this time.”
He dropped his hands and nodded, working his jaw side to side. He appeared resigned, like me, that this was how it had to be. Blake stepped over.
“What are you gonna do the rest of today and tomorrow?” he asked me.
“I’ll switch to an earlier flight.”
Blake frowned. “Just ’cause of some punks at a carnival? You’re safe now.”
“It wasn’t just those sods,” Kai told him. “You must not have heard the part prior to that when we had the pleasure of a whisperer’s company on the Ferris wheel.”
“For real?” His eyes widened and he paled. “I just heard the tail end with the Spanish brahs so I headed over. What happened?”
Kaidan kept his eyes away from me when he answered. “He found it suspicious that we were . . . together. We handled it, but it’s still best if she goes.” He looked at me, and I nodded my painful agreement. Blake made a ticked-off sound of disappointment.
I couldn’t waste any more time pondering. I used to think of our time together as stolen freedom, but now, every minute near the guys was another minute we could all be caught. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to them because of me.
Inside the bungalow I found my bag, taking out my itinerary and calling the airlines. They had seats available on the next flight out of Santa Barbara Municipal. Agreeing to the service charges, I changed the flight. A wall of protection stacked itself around my heart. I could no longer afford to cling to the past. My job was to focus on getting rid of the demons. Any hopes for happiness would have to be sacrificed. It would all be worth it someday. I had to believe that or I’d go crazy.
Time to go.
Feeling stronger than I would have thought possible, I walked to the front of the house with the guys behind me. I hugged Blake and then looked at Kai. His hands rested on his hips. He didn’t appear happy or approachable, but I knew if I didn’t hug him, I’d regret it forever. With a final scan of the clear skies I stepped to him and slowly slid my arms around his waist.
Being against Kai was nothing like being against Blake. His muscles under my hands, my temple against his collarbone, the explosion of emotion when his arms encircled me—this was not friendship. I loved this boy. I loved him enough to pull away and leave him, which is exactly what I did, our fingers lingering together one final moment before parting. I met his eyes one last time, but it was too much. I could’ve sworn those blue depths were begging me to stay, so I backed away and forced myself to climb into the stifling hot rental car.
They stood on the edge of the pavement and watched as I drove away. I did not allow myself to wallow or yearn. I sped away from the mansion, along the cliffs above the sea, without looking back.
So, that wall I’d built around my heart? As I sat in the airport, awaiting the boarding announcement, something inside me cracked, gouging a deep crevice in my soul that filled with a roaring pain. The hurt was so palpable I could hardly breathe. I must have looked like a mess, because people gave me worried glances.