His expression changed. “I’m not leaving. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not quitting.”
“This is my apartment.”
“This is our apartment.”
I sighed, my head hurting too much to argue any more.
“Move in with Hope. At least then you and Penny can be close,” I spat. I froze, mortified at my own words. “I didn’t mean that. I’m angry and it just came out.”
Josh’s cheeks flushed.
“It doesn’t matter where you live. You can see Penny whenever you want.”
Josh balled his hand into a fist, slamming it down on the counter. His already battered knuckles split open, spraying blood on the Formica. “You’re not a fucking single mom, Avery. You’re my wife. We’re not doing this! Nothing happened! You’re not thinking straight; you haven’t been for a while. I’ve tried to ignore it, but this is too much. If you leave me, I’m calling the doctor. I’ll tell them about your hallucinations. They’re not going to let you have custody of Penny in the state you’re in.”
My mouth fell open, feeling slapped in the face. “You’re blackmailing me?”
“Whatever it takes,” he said without apology.
“You are a selfish bastard.”
His eyebrows pulled together and he sucked in a breath. A single tear fell down his cheek. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep this family together. Once you get some rest, you’ll think this through. You were right about Hope. We can confront her together, if that’s what you want. I can fix this, Avery.”
“No, Josh. This is one thing you can’t fix.”
I turned around, walking toward the door. Josh rushed around me, pressing his palm flat against the metal. “Please?” he begged. “Please, don’t do this.”
“If you hadn’t snuck around with the building whore, I could have asked you that, too, and none of us would be here right now.”
I yanked on the knob, and Josh stepped back, unwilling to physically restrain me. After I slammed the door, Josh opened it again, walking out into the hall. “I’ll be here when you get back. I love you. Be careful.”
I trotted down the stairs, wiping my eyes and shoving through the lower door. I stood on the stoop, looking around, watching the world go on as if mine hadn’t ended.
The Dodge started right up, growling before I shifted into drive and pulled away from the curb. Our neighborhood fell away, and I turned up the music, flipping channels until something sassy and empowering came through the speakers. I drove through Philadelphia until the streetlights flickered, until the gas light dinged, and my back began to ache. I rubbed my belly and turned toward home, hoping to God Josh had gone to Quinn’s with most of his things.
The sky was dark, and the stars had begun to poke through the blackness when I slowed to a stop, waiting on a red light to turn. I could see the top floors of St. Ann’s looming above the tree line, and then looked down when I felt Penny move inside me. When I realized where I was, I choked out a sob. The sign for Holly Road sat above the sign for Jackson Avenue, the intersection where it had all begun.
I could go back to Josh, but I couldn’t forgive him. I couldn’t trust him. That wasn’t a marriage I wanted Penny to witness. I had a responsibility to my daughter to show strength I would want her to have.
My head began to throb behind my eye, and I wondered if Josh had meant what he’d said about taking her away. I’d lost my parents, then Josh, and I could lose Penny, too. Letting go had been so easy for me, but in that moment, I recognized that I hadn’t let go of the people I loved. They were taken from me.
Josh’s theory about curses might not have been so farfetched after all.
“This isn’t happening,” I cried. The flashes, the hallucinations, the headaches—it had all started since the wedding. “This is just a bad dream,” I said, sucking in several breaths. A new cry ripped from my throat. “I just want to wake up.” I slumped over, touching my head to the steering wheel. “I just want to wake up.”
I closed my eyes, seeing flashes of the hospital room, and I blinked, looking around the Dodge. Maybe Josh was right. Maybe I was going crazy. Everything had felt off since the accident. Maybe I was imagining things. Crazy people didn’t know they were crazy.
My blurred vision came into focus, and I noticed a small copper circle at my feet. I reached down, picking up the dull penny and clenching it in my palm.
My breathing faltered, and a wail bubbled from my chest, piercing the night. Two bright lights came closer, and I held my breath, closing my eyes.
I woke up panting with fear, gripping handles on either side of my hospital bed. Beeps surrounded me on every side, and I looked down. My scrubs were gone, and I was dressed in a hospital gown. I reached down to feel my flat stomach. Penny was gone, too.
I cried out, covering my face, and Michaels ran in. “Avery?”
I could only cry.
Michaels called frantically down the hall. “She’s awake! Avery’s awake!” Michaels ran in, checking my vitals. “Do you know where you are?” she asked, her voice smooth and soothing.
“The hospital,” I said. “Is the baby okay?”
Michaels’ eyebrows pulled in, and my heart broke.
A female doctor rushed in, with shiny dark hair that barely brushed her shoulders and a large mole on one side of her chin.
She flashed a pen-sized light in my eyes, from one to the other, and then turned it off, plugging her stethoscope into her ear. “Can you tell me your name?”