I teared the corner of the packet with my teeth, and Avery’s hand wrapped around mine, stopping me. My heart sank, as if she could see through the façade. Did she just now realize she was making a mistake? That she was settling?
Taking the small packet from my hand, she pushed gently against my chest, guiding me back onto her pillow. Her smooth thighs straddled mine as I watched in awe, willing myself to be patient. Eager women didn’t require a lot of self-control. I knew the purpose and the end result, and I’d always accomplished that. Letting Avery set the pace was so different from what I was used to, and arousing in itself.
I couldn’t help but run my fingers along her silky flesh as she took the condom from the packet and rolled it down my length. I didn’t think it would be possible to be any more turned on, but Avery smiled in a way I’d never seen before, her mouth only half turned up, mischievous, ready. She skimmed my stomach with her lips, tasting my skin in a dozen small kisses. As soon as protection was in place, I grabbed Avery’s waist and flipped her onto her back, settling in between her thighs. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to be inside her.
Without looking away, Avery sucked in a sharp breath. I pressed against her entrance, painfully slow, allowing her to adjust to my size. The bite of her fingernails into my flesh let me know this moment was real, and this girl I had dreamed of was now mine. The room was quiet, aside from the mattress shifting with my movements, our ragged breathing, and small whimpers from Avery’s lips as I filled her completely.
“Are you okay?” I asked, already breathing hard.
She nodded as my lips found hers. Relief washed over me, knowing she wanted this as much as I did and feeling the trust we had given each other. For the first time—at least, for me—sex was more than just sex. I’d never allowed myself to be that vulnerable with anyone. It was terrifying, and exhilarating, much more than any one-night stand I’d ever had.
I eased back and then filled her again. My movements were slow, matching the pace of our kiss. I wasn’t used to being so gentle. I was afraid the perfect image of Avery would break and dissipate beneath me, leaving me in a crumbled heap of regrets and past mistakes.
Her pelvis tilted to meet mine as she mumbled my name against my lips. With my forehead resting against hers, I saw the only thing still between us: a small penny pinned between our chests.
Our panting mingled and became deafeningly loud in the small space as Avery shook beneath me, our bodies coated in a thin layer of sweat.
I leaned down, kissing her hard, feeling the build. My intended lovemaking was turning into fucking, and Avery welcomed the pounding rhythm.
Her soft cries of pleasure pushed me over the edge, and I thrust into her one last time before growling my release. We both stilled, struggling to catch our breath.
I brushed her slicked hair from her face, tracing my thumb over the arch of her eyebrow. I slowly eased out of her, seeing the disappointment in her eyes mirror mine.
“If I add sex to my list of things I hate, can we do that again?” An impish grin spread across her face.
“That was you hating sex? What are you like when you’re enjoying yourself?” I leaned down to pepper her cheek and neck with kisses, finally settling on her lips.
Avery exhaled, suddenly seeming vulnerable and embarrassed. I touched her cheek, trying to think of something to remind her I was different.
“Is it lame for me to ask to see you again right now?”
She relaxed, settling against the mattress. She shook her head, pursing her lips to ask when. Before the word slipped from her lips, I said, “As soon as possible. Tomorrow. In the morning. Actually … is it cool that I just stay?”
“You want to stay the night?”
I shrugged. “Waking up next to you sounds pretty fucking amazing.”
She pretended to think about it for a few moments and then leaned up to peck my lips. “Yes.”
I scanned her eyes for a moment and then rolled off Avery and made my way to her bathroom to dispose of the condom.
Flipping on the bathroom light, my eyes instinctively squinted at the intrusion. I bent over the sink, splashing cold water on my face, avoiding my own reflection. Small hands slid around my waist from behind, causing me to jump.
Avery’s reflection appeared in the mirror, her hair disheveled and sexy, her mascara smudged below her emerald eyes. Long, elegant fingers ran over my striped tattoo, and my muscles tensed as her nail dragged over the fresh ink.
“That looks new.”
“It is. Still a little tender. I actually got it because of you.” The moment the words tumbled from my mouth, I closed my eyes tight and gritted my teeth. What the fuck, Josh? Why would you open that can?
I leaned against the edge of the porcelain sink and reached out for her, trying to play off what I’d said.
She stiffened in my arms. “Me? This isn’t like a line for each person you've …” She covered her face. “You were so sure this would happen that you already … oh, God.”
It took a moment to understand why she would be embarrassed. I leaned back, but she wouldn’t look at me. “Avery. What are you …?” When the realization hit, I frowned. “Jesus, it isn’t some kind of tally to show who I’ve slept with. I’d have to be one cocky son of a bitch to get a tattoo before I’d even slept with you.”
She peeked at me through her fingers and then dropped them from her face. “Then why is that—” she pointed at my side “—because of me?”
It suddenly felt hard to breathe, and I stiffened when she touched the stripes again. The truth was weighing heavily on me. What would Avery think when she heard about my past? She had a right to know, at least partially, where I had come from. Now that I had opened my big fucking mouth about it, there was no turning back. Avery knew she was involved, I’d just fucking told her, and she would want to know. She deserved to know if she was going to chance being with me.