As I wrapped my arms around his waist and melted against his chest, he told me, “You’re my reawakening.” Almost choking on his final sentence, he crushed me even tighter. I frowned at what had him so upset, when he opened up to me… about the topic he couldn’t ever bring himself to mention before now. “You’re the wish my… mamma… had for my darkening soul… the thing she would say to me every night before I left to push snow… io prego perché tu possa trovare la tua luce, mio figlio smarrito… I pray you find your light, my lost son…”
Pain crashed into my chest at the cutting, forlorn timbre to his voice. I cried. With words so touching how could I not?
Axel kissed my head and added, “And I have found it, carina. La mia fulmine… la mia luce… la mia vita… the only person who sees my clear reflection in the fogged mirror that is my life.”
Chapter Seventeen
Axel
Not wanting to leave this storeroom to face the world outside, I reluctantly dropped my arms from around Ally, and instantly felt cold.
“We’d better go see how Molly’s doing,” I suggested, my finger stroking across her chin.
Ally moved back and silently nodded. Lowering her hand she retook mine. Her eyelashes fluttered up and she asked, “Is… is this still okay?”
Bringing our joined hands to my lips, I kissed the back of her hand as I studied her hopeful face… her hopeful face. I studied each line and curve, an image stirring in mind. An impression, a spark… like it always started.
I thought about how Ally had always looked at me like this. I thought back to the time I saw my mamma’s sculpture sitting alone in that empty gallery looking so lonely that it made me crumble. And then, from behind the marble, there she was like a damn bright light, her beautiful face, the most beautiful face I’d ever seen, staring at me in silence… making me no longer alone. I should have known then, maybe I did in some way, that this would be the woman to change my life.
Months ago I was lost, drowning in a sea of guilt and fucking crippling sadness. Though I was fighting to break the surface, I couldn’t ever get free. Every fucker I knew was watching me from the sideline, letting me drown, but not her. Not la mia luce. I thought she might throw me a lifeline, or at least try to pull me through. What I didn’t expect her to do was jump in and tread water beside me… waiting, just waiting until I was ready to follow her to the shore.
I squeezed Ally’s hand. “It’s more than fucking okay,” I replied. And there it was, that blinding smile. That smile giving me hope that maybe this life would work out after all.
“Ready?” Ally asked, with a nervous smile.
Part of me said that I should let her go, that I shouldn’t put her through the shit that no doubt everyone was gonna put her through for being with me. But the other part of me, the selfish part, which for once in my life wanted to have something just for me, refused to fucking let go.
I was going with the selfish part. I wasn’t giving her up for nothing or nobody.
“Ready,” I replied. Together we walked out of the storeroom and down the hallway to the OB unit. As we entered the unit, the nurse at the nurse’s station directed us to the waiting room. As we approached the closed door, I glanced down and could see the apprehension on Ally’s face. She was nervous and I felt nothing but guilt.
Sighing, I dropped my head and tried to let go of her hand. Ally looked up at me in alarm, and squeezed our hands tighter. “No,” she said firmly, “we’re facing this together. I’m choosing to take whatever they throw at us.”
Yanking her to my chest, I kissed the top of her head. Ally turned the doorknob, straightened her shoulders and walked through, pulling me in behind her. Low voices had been talking. When I looked up, Austin, Lexi, Levi, JD and Cassie were sitting on plastic chairs… talking… but they were all now real fucking quiet as they looked our way.
The silence dragged on and Ally stepped closer to my side. When I lifted my eyes, every fucker in the room was staring at us… at our joined hands… At Ally Prince with Axel Carillo.
The first person I clashed eyes with was Austin, who was frowning in confusion, Lexi sat on his lap, her mouth dropped open.
Clearing her throat, Ally asked, “How’s Molly?”
Moving on from Austin, I next met eyes with Levi who was looking between Ally and me, back and forth, back and forth. No one looked happy. No one was answering Ally’s question.
My stomach dropped and Ally’s face paled as we heard, “Molly’s stable. Her condition’s now progressed to Eclampsia, that’s why she collapsed. Her blood pressure was way too high.”