My heart raced and somersaulted as the two of them grabbed hands and left us. I did not want to see Kaidan Rowe again, did I? No. And besides, for the first time a boy was showing interest in me, and I was interested, too. I didn’t want to worry about some disrespectful guy messing things up.

I was suddenly parched, so I took a huge gulp of my juice. Yum. Tart, but sweet... and something else. I took another drink. What was that? I sniffed the liquid. There was no burning smell of alcohol.

I took another long gulp, then I chugged, knowing even as I did it that there was something in that drink, but I couldn’t—no, wouldn’t—stop myself. I waited for the panic to rise, but instead I felt myself relaxing. This party wasn’t half-bad after all, even if the most passive-aggressive, rudest, sexiest guy in Georgia had just shown up. I didn’t have to talk to him.

“What band was he talking about?” asked Scott.

“Lascivious. They’re Jay’s favorite.”

“Hmph. Never heard of ’em.”

Kristin Miller and Veronica from Spanish class made their way to us whispering and giggling, their cheeks flushed from drinking. They had similar haircuts, brown bobs that went up their necks and slanted downward in front to their chins. Veronica’s hair was darker, though, almost black, and she had new chunky red highlights. Veronica was the drunkest, her colors blurry. She slung her arms around my neck and let out a silly, happy squeal, slurring her words.

“Girl, can I just say you are the coolest little thing ever?! I’m so glad you’re here!”

Normally I would wonder whether she was making fun of me, but I was feeling very light and buoyant at the moment, so I found myself going along with it, even enjoying it.

“Thank you!” I shouted. “And I love your highlights, by the way.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh, my gawd! You are so gonna be my BFF tonight. Come on! Let’s go dance!”

Kristin rolled her eyes at us.

“Wait!” said Scott. “Finish your drink so it doesn’t spill on the dance floor.”

Excellent idea. I finished every drop of the delicious juice and handed the empty cup to Scott.

“Come on! I love this song!” Veronica pulled my hand, and I let her lead me.

“Come with!” I called to Scott over my shoulder. He and Kristin followed. The four of us weaved through the people to the dance floor, where the music boomed, rattling windows with the bass.

My inhibitions dropped like bricks off of me. When Veronica hollered, “Wooo!” I threw my arms up and did the same. My head was so fuzzy inside. I’d lost my ability to sense other people’s colors, and it was freeing. The clouds were still there, but they’d become like extensions of the people, in my mind. Nothing could bother me at that moment. I didn’t care whether I saw Kaidan Rowe right then. Even he couldn’t bring me down.

Veronica and I danced. It was complete and utter bliss. Everyone was being so nice, not minding when I bumped into them. The warmth of close-huddled bodies was wonderful. I could feel each brush of my own limbs against others as I let my hips move and my eyes close.

I faintly heard Kristin talking beside me.

“She can’t be feeling it already?”

“Shut the hell up!” Scott’s voice hissed.

Veronica lifted her cup to her mouth, but someone fell into her, knocking the cup to the ground.

“Aw, crap!” she said, and we both laughed, falling all over each other. My laughter was not right. It was smoother and lower than usual, and I was suddenly much too calm to work up a good belly laugh. I noticed how soft Veronica’s shirt was. I rubbed it between my fingers.

“You’re feelin’ it now, girl!” she said.

“What was in my drink?” I asked, curious.

“Some crushed-up X. Don’t be too mad at him. You’re so lucky! I would have done it tonight, too, but my dad won’t give me any money.”

I wasn’t mad. Just the opposite. Scott had been right. I wanted to thank him. I threw my head back, submerged in the sensation. The fact that I was high was what mattered. It was like a long-lost friend had found me and wrapped me in a cozy blanket. I wanted it to last forever.

There was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, but I ignored it. Soon I couldn’t focus on anything except the fact that my mouth felt like it had been stuffed with a sock.

“My mouth is so dry!” I yelled. “And my teeth are chattering.”

“Come on. Let’s go get you some water and gum. That’ll help. And I need another frickin’ drink, too!”

Once again Veronica pulled me through the crowd by the hand. I felt as if I were walking on a squishy cloud and everything were in slow motion. We pushed our way to the kitchen, where she spun to me and shouted, “Holy hot guy! Who the heck was that? Did you see him?”

“Who?” I looked around.

“Back in the hall. Hel-lo! When we passed him he was staring right at you!”

I looked in the general direction of the hall, but there were too many people.

“I don’t know. I didn’t see him.” I shrugged. “I’m happy we’re friends.”

“Aww! You are so sweet. I can’t believe we’ve never hung out before.” Veronica slid a piece of gum in my mouth. I chewed like crazy, my jaw racing with a mind of its own while she made herself a drink, splashing stuff all over the counter.

Someone tapped my shoulder. My movements were sluggish as I turned, and it took a few seconds to process his face.




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