Ok, sarcastic much?
We ignored him after that.
Allison looked at me for one more moment with narrowed eyes and pursed lips before turning back to Tru. “Tell us what else!” Then she looked at me, “She won’t talk like this unless you’re here. Usually she just tells me to go away.”
Tru blushed a pretty shade of red and so did Allison. Because even though she was trying to make it a joke, I could tell it was really bothering her that her ten year old wouldn’t open up to her anymore.
I tried to help out a little by saying, “Tru, you have to tell your mom the gossip! That’s like the number one rule of sharing. I tell my mom the gossip all the time.”
“Really?” she asked a little disbelievingly.
“Really,” I nodded. “Only my mom never knows anything about what I’m talking about. You’re so lucky that you have a mom who already knows who everybody is and will understand what you’re talking about.”
Truman smiled at me a little wickedly; I just hoped that worked. It was definitely important to share the gossip with her mom, just in case anything weird was going on at school. This way would ensure that Allison would be kept up to speed, for at least another year. Then it was up to Allison; I was out.
“Ok, what else?” I demanded, smacking my hand on the table forcefully.
She turned a deeper shade of red and avoided my gaze.
Oh no.
“Tell me!” I coaxed with a nonthreatening smile on my face.
“Well, there was this one rumor that your boyfriend ran away from home, and joined some kind of gang. And now you’re going off the deep end and hanging out with kids who smoke, and that you’re skipping school and stuff.” She said it in a rush of breathlessness and I almost smiled.
Almost.
“What?” I gasped. Tristan burst into laughter at the stove. “Gah! When gossip comes back to bite you in the…. eye!” I edited for Truman’s benefit.
“Stella, you have a boyfriend?” Allison sounded outraged. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was mad that I hadn’t told her, or that I would dare date someone other than Tristan.
“No!” I quickly assured her. “There was a boy that was kind of interested in me, but he…. moved away.”
“Oh,” she sat back in her chair clearly relieved.
“We were never official though.” I reinforced that whole point one more time, lest Brian come in and get in on this action too. “And I’m not skipping school. I was sick for a few days, but I never intentionally skipped class.”
Allison’s brow smoothed out and then she pinned me with a, “What about hanging out with kids that smoke?”
“There’s one boy that smokes,” I clarified. “And I don’t so much as hang out with him as I can’t get away from him. He follows me around.”
“Like a dog,” Tristan grumbled. And then he announced, “Gravy’s done!”
The kitchen became a flurry of movement as Troy and Trevor seemed to appear from thin air; Truman ran off to find Brian, and Tristan and his mom brought all the food over and set it strategically in between the mass of place settings. Then came the scramble for a chair to sit in, which was a lot like musical chairs, except there were enough for everyone, and the object was more about getting to sit by who you wanted to and avoiding sitting by a parent.
Dinner went the same way. There was lots of shouting conversations and laughter. It felt so nice to be surrounded by Tristan and his family again. There was just such palpable warmth in this family that I wanted to soak it all up and keep it with me forever.
After dinner Allison shooed her younger kids away to go do homework and made me promise to come back on Sunday for their big family dinner. I was feeling absolutely content after the delicious meal and the happy conversation, that I immediately agreed.
“Oh, Tristan, before Stella goes home, why don’t you go show her the basement,” Allison suggested coyly.
This was her attempt to get us alone. I held the secret belief that she thought if she could put us together in enough dark, isolated places, we would accidentally fall into each other and start making out.
Ok, it had almost happened several times, so she wasn’t far off base. But it was funny coming from his mom.
“Do you want to see our basement?” Tristan asked me with an amused eyebrow raise.
“More than anything,” I smiled back.
He turned back to roll his eyes at his mom, but then took my hand and led me toward the downstairs.
I reminded myself that this was good news. I wanted to be alone with him. I wanted to talk to him. I just had to find the courage to want to hear the answers to all my questions.
Chapter Fifteen
“Sorry, the light switch doesn’t work at the top of the stairs,” Tristan apologized and then clutched my hand tighter.
I clasped his hand to my stomach and stayed as close to him as I could get, given that he was walking down the wide, long staircase ahead of me.
“You’re doing this on purpose,” I accused while squeezing all the blood from his hand.
“Doing what on purpose?” His voice was so sarcastic I could have punched him. “Using your irrational fear of basements to get your hands all over my body?”
I laughed despite myself, “Yes, that.”
On the bottom step Tristan turned around to stop me. He let go of my hand to grip my waist and groped blindly for the light switch on the wall. I stood above him so I hovered over him just a little, and when I looked down at him, my ponytail flopped over and whipped him in the face.
“Sorry,” I snickered.
“You sound very sorry,” he countered. His voice was low and thoughtful. We were half hidden from each other because of the darkness and I kind of liked it that way. Putting aside my freakish fear of basements, this moment felt like the first real moment we had shared in a long time.
I could admit now that something was growing between us. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe I wanted to be able to give myself completely to Seth and not have to worry about being in love with two people. Or maybe I was fighting what was between Seth and me for a reason.
Except these days my struggle to hold back my love from Seth was a losing battle. It just took him leaving for me to realize that.
Which I think made me a terrible person.
Tristan finally found the light switch and flicked it on. We were suddenly bathed in light from naked bulbs that hung down in strategic places all over the exposed basement. The basement was a disaster. The floor was ripped up leaving the cold concrete exposed; some of the old walls had been ripped down, leaving big gaps in the layout. There were different kinds of wood stacked against one of the walls, and a new sliding glass door set still wrapped along another.
“You guys are redoing your basement?” I concluded. “Very cool.”
“Yes, it’s amazing.” Tristan didn’t sound impressed. “I don’t think my mom really intended for me to show you the new tile we’re laying this weekend.”
“You only think that because you don’t know how much tile turns me on.” I was shamelessly flirting with him; but this felt so close to our normal that I wanted to grab hold of it and never let go.
Tristan cleared his throat nervously, grabbed both of my hands and led me off the staircase. He walked backwards through a path cleared for the workmen, whom I assumed was actually Tristan, his brothers and dad, and to a corner of the basement not yet touched. The remaining room, with its drywall still intact and door still on functioning hinges housed all the furniture that had been down here prior to the remodel. A huge pool table sat in the middle of the space, with an assortment of couches and recliners closely surrounding it.
The Shield’s had more La-Z-y Boys than any family I’d ever heard of. With five boys and one dad, they seemed to be always in need of a functioning recliner.
It was a phenomenon I failed to grasp, but I didn’t know if it was because I wasn’t human or because I was female.
Tristan flipped another light switch and led me to a comfortable red couch we used to watch movies on, when the TV wasn’t shoved into a corner and actually hooked up to electrical outlets.
We sat down with several inches separating us and then turned toward each other. We both brought a knee up so now they grazed against each other. Tristan jerked at the contact like I surprised him, he stared down at my bare knee like it had the answers to his unasked questions.
I looked down at my legs, too; I looked so silly. I was fresh from soccer practice, so my running shorts and homecoming t-shirt from last year, that was one size too small but seemed to fit Ok, with a sports’ bra on was not doing me any favors. My head was dried sweat, still half wet and the other half was stiff grossness until the ponytail at which point it stopped being damp and just turned angry. And my shins and feet still showed the indents of my shin guards and knee high socks.
Plus, I could not be smelling all that great right now.
“Your mom is so trusting.” I shook my head and smiled at Tristan. “Isn’t she worried about a teen pregnancy?”
“I think she secretly wants one.” Tristan’s eyes grew a bit wide and unfocused. “She’s been hinting to my dad that she wants another baby and he’s been hinting back that he’s never giving her another child again. And then Trader brought home a girl last weekend and she basically offered to get us all out of the house so they could be alone. It’s embarrassing. She just wants a baby in this house. I think she’s willing to do anything to get it.”
“Your family is so crazy,” I laughed at him. “But I love it here. My house is always so quiet and boring.”
“Your house is boring?” he rolled his eyes. “Seems like plenty goes on there that is definitely not boring.”
“Sure, but you know, after the saving the world stuff, it’s just…. silent.”
“I could use some silence,” Tristan sighed. He laid his head on the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling.
So I let him have it. We sat there, lost in our own thoughts for several minutes. That was what I loved about Tristan- we could just exist around each other and it was the most peaceful experience.
Finally he let his head fall to the side so he could look at me. I met his emerald gaze and waited for him to say whatever was on his mind.
After a few more moments of internal deliberation he said, “It was stupid of me to ask you out. I should know better.”
“What does that mean?” I tried not to be offended by his words. I could tell by his tone he wasn’t trying to pick a fight with me.
“I mean I should have known that was asking you too much. I know I don’t act like it but I do get this whole thing with Seth. I get that you can’t pick me or I don’t know what. I just know that I’m not an option. But Stella, my feelings for you haven’t stopped.” He laughed a little self-deprecatingly at himself and then said, “Actually I think they get stronger every day I’m with you.”
“You’ve been a little distant lately, I didn’t know what to think.” I stared down at my hands and tried not to smile too big while a warm deliciousness spread through my body, unfurling inside me with each one of his words.