"Jeez, help make this easier, why don't you?" Zoe punched the pillow on the far side of the bed.
"But none of those things matter if you love him," her psychologist twin said.
"Whoa. Nobody said anything about love." Except Ryan last night.
He hadn't said he loved her, but he'd mentioned possibilities. She'd pushed those words aside because they scared her.
Love?
No.
Everything inside Zoe resisted the notion. No matter how mesmerizing Ryan's brown eyes were, no matter how good he was with his hands, and no matter how excellent he felt buried deep inside her body, they weren't talking about love. Not even if he was kind and decent and protective in the best possible way, she thought.
"I don't trust in the idea, at least not for me. If Mom and Dad— two people who couldn't be better matched— argue, can you imagine the fights that would be in store for two people as different as Ryan and me?"
"I can imagine the sparks," Ari said.
"Well sparks aren't enough. I certainly don't believe two such different people can make a relationship work."
Ari snickered into the phone, leaving Zoe with the uneasy feeling her twin wasn't about to come down on her side.
"And why not?" Ari asked.
Zoe had a sneaking suspicion her sister was leading her down a tricky path, but she answered, anyway. "Well first, have you ever met anyone more unsettled than me?"
"Give me a break, Zoe. Up until recently, you had a steady job and a place to live. What's unsettled about that?"
Before last night, Zoe had never expressed her feelings about the life she'd chosen, but now she was discussing it for the second time within twenty-four hours. "Even I can face facts. I'm thirty and I still live at home with my parents. I quit my old job and I'm just starting up a new career. Chances are I'll be living off my savings for a while, especially after I move out."
"You're moving out of Mom and Dad's?" Ari asked, obviously shocked by the news Zoe hadn't yet shared.
Perhaps because she hadn't even made a real effort to find an apartment of her own. "Eventually. When I find a place. Or even have time to look." She spouted the excuses she'd been feeding herself for the last month, even before Ryan had complicated her life.
"The point is my life is at a crossroads and I told Ryan as much."
"Hmmm. And what else did you tell Ryan?" her sister asked.
Zoe thought back to their conversation. "Just that I need to settle down and find myself before I can ever think about a serious relationship. Or something like that."
"And you had this conversation with Ryan. A man with whom you claim there is no future." Ari yawned, an obviously fake, forced sound, meant to let Zoe know she found her reasoning completely bogus. "If that's what you want to tell yourself, go ahead. And maybe you'll be lucky enough that Ryan will wait around until you decide you're ready."
"And maybe Ima will fly," Zoe said.
"Don't cause unnecessary trouble between yourself and Ryan. Let nature take its course," Ari warned. "And while you're at it, don't go spouting accusations about Ryan's uncle. Not without proof."
Zoe knew Ari wasn't finished with the subject of her and Ryan. No more than Zoe was finished with the topic of Uncle Russ. But she would be careful around the man.
Funny how well she and Ari knew one another's unspoken intentions. "Oh, that psychic twin connection," Zoe said.
Like the time Zoe was seven and jumped out of a tree, breaking her leg. Ari had come running out of the house because she'd sensed Zoe was hurt.
"I do have a plan that doesn't involve me going off half-cocked. I'm going to start by talking to Ryan and broaching the subject of Sam's keys and his uncle's possible motives for wanting to see them. If he doesn't take it well, I'll back off and leave Ryan in peace, but I will look into those keys myself."
Without warning, she had a flash of the day Uncle Russ had visited her home. "Ari, I just remembered something. Uncle Russ mentioned that the time when Faith ran away was a very chaotic period for the business. Something about truck hijackings," she said, recalling the conversation. "Also Faith stole money from Uncle Russ. Can you ask Quinn to look into exactly what went down? The official version?"
"You got it. In the meantime, you be careful." Ari's voice sobered. "Keep us posted down here and call if you want Connor or Quinn to take a trip to Boston. They're already in touch with the police there."
"I will."
"Love you," Ari said.
"Back at you," Zoe replied.
"You know you can test those three little words on your twin before trying them on Ryan."
"Very funny." Zoe hung up the phone and leaned back.
Her conversation with Ari had convinced her she was on to something when it came to Uncle Russ. She didn't have motive for him, but she had a gut feeling and Zoe trusted her instincts. Enough to make investigating Sam's keys a priority.
At least that puzzle she had some control over, while her emotions and future provided more of a mystery.
Chapter Eleven
FOR SOMEONE WHO HADN'T slept well, Zoe awoke early, and she headed straight to the kitchen to brew some strong coffee. As she puttered around and set up the coffeemaker, she tried to be quiet so as not to wake Ryan and Sam.
Morning sunlight set Ryan's apartment aglow, highlighting the new-looking chrome appliances and dark wood cabinetry. Zoe loved his apartment, which had all the warmth of the man himself and the same amount of mystery. Like just what did he keep in the cabinet above the toaster oven, anyway? Glasses? Plates? Canned goods? And why did she care?
Because wondering about his kitchen helped take her mind off her real problem. How did she tell Ryan about her hunch that his only ally in his entire family might have an agenda where Sam was concerned? Better yet, how did she make him believe her with no proof to back up her claim? Even her twin had doubts.
Zoe wrapped her hand around her coffee cup and took a sip of the hot brew.
"Someone's up early," Ryan said as he strode into the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee. His hair was still messed from sleep and he wore only a pair of jeans slung low on his hips, zipped, but not buttoned.
"I couldn't sleep."
And was it any wonder? Between her worries about Sam, her distrust of Uncle Russ and her need for Ryan, her head spun with too many thoughts and concerns. She couldn't turn to Ryan for comfort because, despite their night together, they both agreed it wasn't smart to share a bed again with Sam so close by. So for now it was hands off, but she couldn't tear her gaze away from him and the body she'd already learned so well.