She touched his cheek and said nothing.
"They were going off to spend the weekend together at a ski resort that day. His wife thought he was out of town on business. I thought Amelia had gone to visit her sister in Denver."
Octavia said nothing, just shook her head sadly.
"After the funeral his widow and I talked. We both decided that, for the sake of her son and mine, we would let the story stand about her husband having given my wife a lift to Colorado. Everyone bought it."
"I see." She lowered her fingers. "I'm sorry, Nick."
"I don't want you to feel sorry for me." He took his hands off her shoulders and cupped her face between his palms. "I just want you to understand why I've been a little reluctant to rush back into a serious relationship."
"You're scared."
He set his jaw. "I am not scared."
"Yes, you are. You made the kind of mistake that Hartes aren't supposed to make. You screwed up and married the wrong woman once, and you're absolutely terrified of screwing up again. So it's easier to play it safe."
"I made a mistake. I'll give you that much. And it's true that Hartes don't usually make those kinds of mistakes. But I'll never regret it."
She comprehended immediately. "Because of Carson."
"Amelia gave me my son. I will always be thankful to her memory for that."
"Of course you will, and that is as it should be. But that doesn't mean that deep down you're not afraid of trusting your emotions again."
"I am not afraid," he said evenly, "but I am damn careful these days. Amelia and I rushed into marriage because we both thought passion was enough. It wasn't. Next time around, I'm going to take my time and make certain that I know what I'm doing."
"Know what I think? I think you're being so careful that you get nervous when there's even a hint that a relationship might cross the line between casual and serious." She searched his face. "Is that what happened the other night? Did you panic because you thought our one-night stand might turn into something more than that?"
"For the last time, I did not panic. And for the record, I never intended it to be a one-night stand."
"I beg your pardon, did you freak out because you were worried that our little summer fling might get too heavy and too complicated?"
He refused to let her push him into losing his temper. He was trying to accomplish an objective here. Hartes never lost sight of their goals.
"Correct me if I'm wrong," he said, "but I was under the impression that you weren't looking for anything more than a short-term arrangement either, Miss Free Spirit."
She flushed. "I wasn't the one who ran for the door that night. I was doing just fine with the summer-fling thing."
"I did not run for the door. I left in a hurry, but I did not run."
"Details."
"Important details. And I'd like to remind you that I showed up at your gallery the next morning," he said. "It's not like I didn't call. And how the hell do you think I felt when you told me that the sex had been therapeutic? You made it sound like a good massage or a tonic, damn it."
She bit her lip. "Well, it was, in a way."
"Great. Well, do me a favor. The next time you want physical therapy, call a masseuse or a chiropractor. Or buy a vibrator."
Her eyes widened. She was starting to look a little unnerved, he thought. For some reason, that gave him an unholy amount of satisfaction.
"Don't push me," she warned.
"I haven't been pushing you." He hauled her close. "This is what I call pushing you."
He kissed her, using everything he had to seduce her into a response. He was not sure what he expected, but he knew what he wanted. He had his agenda. He was going to make her admit that the sex hadn't been merely a therapeutic tonic.
He was vaguely surprised and somewhat reassured when she made no move to free herself. After an instant's hesitation, her mouth softened under his. Her arms went around his neck and her fingers sank into his hair. Heat swirled through him, igniting his senses.
He had been right about this much, at least, he thought. She still wanted him. Nothing had changed on that front. He could feel the passion quickening within her.
When she shivered in his arms and tightened her hold on him, his triumph was tempered by the sheer enormousness of his sense of relief.
He dragged his mouth away from hers and nibbled on her earlobe. "It was good between us. Give me that much at least."
"I never said that it wasn't good." She tipped her head back, giving him access to her throat. "It was great."
"Then why not enjoy it?" The taste of her skin and the herbal fragrance of her hair combined into an intoxicating perfume. He knew that he would never forget her scent as long as he lived. "We have the rest of the summer."
She tensed in his arms. Her fingers stopped moving through his hair. Very slowly she pulled away and raised her lashes. "Maybe you're right."
He kissed the tip of her nose. "No maybe about it."
"It's possible that I overreacted the other night."
"Understandable," he assured her. "You were coming off a difficult year. A lot of emotional stuff going on in your life. You're making some major decisions about your business and your future. Lot of stress."
"Yes."
"Maybe you were right about one thing," he offered, feeling generous now. "Okay, it's not easy to think of myself as a sort of physical therapist, but I have to admit that there is a therapeutic side to really good sex."
"Probably releases a lot of endorphins, and then there's the exercise aspect."
"Right. Exercise." He was not sure this was going the direction he had intended, but it wasn't like he had a lot of alternatives.
"Rather like taking a brisk walk on the beach, I think," she mused.
He made himself count to ten and forced a smile. "No need to analyze it too much. Sex is perfectly natural and there's no reason that two healthy, responsible adults who happen to be single and uncommitted shouldn't enjoy it together."
She did step back then, slipping out from under his hands. "I'll think about it."
He did not move. "You'll think about it?"
"Yes." She turned and went down the steps. "I can't give you an answer tonight. I'm not thinking clearly right now, and I don't want to make another rash decision based on overheated emotions. I'm sure you can understand."
"Now who's panicking?" he asked softly.