I felt empty and confused.
She ended it. “Get out of here. You’re gonna miss your flight.”
My hands were still on her cheeks. “I never got over hurting you the first time, but hurting you twice…believe me when I say this was the last thing I ever wanted to see happen in my lifetime.”
“Why did you come back just now?”
“I turned around and saw you crying. What kind of a heartless ass**le would leave you like that?”
“Well, you weren’t supposed to see that. You really should have kept walking because now you’re making it worse.”
“I didn’t want that to be my last visual.”
“If you really love her, you shouldn’t have kissed me,” she yelled.
“I do love her.” It came out really defensively. I looked up at the sky because I needed to think for a second.
How would I explain the realization I had on the dance floor last night?
“You want to know the truth? I f**king love you, too. I don’t think I realized how much until I saw you again.”
“You love us both? That’s messed up, Elec.”
“You’ve always told me you wanted honesty. I just gave it to you. I’m sorry if the truth is a f**ked up mess.”
“Well, she has the home court advantage. You’ll forget about me again soon enough. That will simplify things.”
She was getting back in the car.
“Greta…don’t leave like this.”
“I’m not the one leaving.”
Ouch.
She drove off and left me at the curb, which was fitting because I’d unintentionally kicked her to the same place…twice, actually.
I was really tempted to jump in a cab and follow her. But I got on that plane back to California because for once in my life, I needed to do the right thing.
***
My finger kept pressing the next page button hoping there was more to the story. He couldn’t have possibly put me through all of that just to end it right where we left things.
When he sent me the manuscript, he said it wasn’t finished. It was probable that he didn’t feel I needed to know anything more than what involved me. Since the rest of his life would involve her, there was no need to torture me with more. I got it now, and I appreciated that. He wanted me to understand what he was feeling all of that time so he could have some closure and move on.
Well, good for him.
I took out my phone and sent him a text that sounded cordial despite my anger.
I finished. Thank you. That was an amazing ride. I’m honored you asked me to read it. The history of your family blew me away and explained so much. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I understand so much more now and also why you ended it where you did.
Fuck.
I was crying and had to go back out to my friends.
Devastated, I was determined that the rest of the night would be about forgetting him once and for all.
“Help me drown my sorrows,” I remember him saying to me at the casino. Well, that was what I needed right now.
My friends were on the dance floor and cheered when they spotted me. They pulled me in, and we danced together for at least an hour. The more I thought about Elec, the harder and faster I swayed my h*ps and shook my head around to the point where my hair must have looked like I’d gotten electrocuted. Getting lost in the music, I didn’t want to stop long enough to feel all of the painful emotions that his words had caused. I certainly didn’t want to accept that the character of Greta Hansen had now been written out of his life.
A half-hour later, my phone buzzed.
What’s your theory on why I ended it where I did?
His response stunned me. To prevent myself from losing it on the dance floor, I kept dancing as if nothing had happened. I didn’t want my friends to think something was wrong.
I shook my ass and typed.
Greta: Because you didn’t want to hurt me. The rest has nothing to do with me.
Elec: You’re sure about that?
Greta: What are you saying?
Elec: Stop shaking your ass for five seconds and maybe I’ll tell you.
What?
Before I could turn around, the feeling of strong hands grasping at the sides of my dress from behind caused me to suddenly stop moving. They slowly slid down my waist and landed on my ass with a cool self-assurance. That grip. That smell. The way my body immediately responded.
No. It couldn’t be.
CHAPTER 21
I flipped around and was met with smoky eyes, incandescent even in the darkness of the club. My heartbeat was so intense, it seemed like it was dueling with the bass of the fast-paced music. Everything around me seemed to fade away upon the realization that Elec was right in front of me, holding onto me as if he knew his presence would jar me to the point that I might collapse and need him for balance.
My voice was trembling. I was so nervous that my first question was a dumb one. “What happened to your glasses?”
“Contacts tonight.”
“Oh.”
Finally, the shock was starting to wear off just enough for me to attempt to ask something that made sense. “I have a million questions. How did you get here? How did you find me? How—”
“Shut up, Greta.” His hot mouth enveloped my lips and abruptly interrupted all further questioning. He devoured me with reckless abandon. If there were any doubt about where things stood between us, the possessive feel of this kiss, the way he pressed his entire body against me, annihilated it.
Without having to say it with his words, the kiss spoke volumes. His tongue lashing at mine, the guttural sounds that came out from his throat as he did it, it was the first time since I’d met him that I’d truly felt it in my bones: he was mine. All of the reservations of the past, every shred of what had been holding us back was gone.
I didn’t know the full story yet of how we suddenly arrived at this place, but I wasn’t sure it mattered.
My fingers raked through his hair desperately as I pulled him harder into me.
Don’t ever leave me again, Elec.
We were still in our own little world despite people dancing all around, bumping into us. He breathed over my lips with his forehead on mine. “I’ve been waiting for you to finish the book so I could come to you. That was the plan.”
“You’ve been in New York all this time?”
“I was already in New York waiting when I sent it.”
“Oh my God.” I buried my face into his chest and savored the smell of him sans cigarettes. I looked up at him and had to ask the question even though it should have been obvious. “You broke up with her?”
He nodded his face over mine.
I continued, “But the ending…you said you were doing the right thing. I thought—”
He cut me off with a kiss again then said, “I figured you might assume that. But the right thing…was admitting that I couldn’t possibly fully love her if my heart beat faster for someone else.” His hands cupped my cheeks. “My heart hasn’t shut up since it spotted you standing in that garden. I finally listened. It just took some time to clear my head enough to really understand what it wanted.”
I was sure it was a long story, that ending things with Chelsea wasn’t easy for him. I knew he’d genuinely loved her and that he’d tell me everything in due time, but now was not the moment for that.
As if he read my mind, he said, “I promise I’ll tell you everything about what happened, but not now, okay? I just want to be with you.”
“Okay.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and let out a breath so intense, you would have thought I’d been holding it for seven years. Maybe I had been. We kissed like our lives depended on it, not coming up for breath for at least the duration of three consecutive songs. I was sure my friends saw us, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him long enough to check for their reactions. They probably thought he was a random hookup, and there would be a lot of explaining to do at work. I pressed my body into his and could feel his erection through his jeans. We were practically making love on the dance floor.
This was surreal.
He spoke into my ear, causing me to shiver. “Do you want me, Greta?”
“Yes.”
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.”
“I need you to let me have you now.”
“In the club?”
He smiled over my mouth. “I wanted you to finish reading, to know everything before I came to you. I’ve been wandering around this city hard as a rock for three days just thinking about being with you. Your apartment is too far from here. I can’t wait anymore.”
“Where can we go?” I asked.
“I don’t care, but we need to figure it out before I take you right here on this dance floor.” He grabbed me by the hand. “Come on.”
He ran my fingers through his and led me through the thick humid air of the club. All of the hairs on my body stiffened. What we were doing felt dangerous. Elec was a full-grown man now. When I was last with him sexually, he was practically a boy. I was sure he’d gotten even better in the years we were apart, and I wasn’t sure what I was in for. It had been a really long time since I’d even been with anyone. He was going to be able to tell how long it had been.
There was a door leading to a back room, but when Elec tried to open it, it was locked. He looked back at me with a smile that gave me the chills. “You said you trust me, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait here.”
He opened a back door that looked like a fire exit and peeked outside before returning to the spot where I was standing.
“I want to give you a choice depending on what you’re in the mood for.”
“Okay.”
“We can go find the nearest hotel, and I can make love to you in a bed or...”
“Okay. Or?”
“Or we can go outside right now and f**k hard in that alley.”
Never had the muscles between my legs throbbed so intensely in anticipation of something. My body had clearly chosen for me, wanting to completely surrender to him. I needed this just as much as he did. I wanted it hard, and I wanted it now.
“I want option b.”
“Good choice.”
He opened the back door and led me outside. The alley was desolate. A thin layer of fog coated the air. We wandered a bit until we came to a somewhat hidden alcove.
“No one will see us here,” he said as he gently backed me into the brick wall. “I’m dying to take you out of your comfort zone.”
My chest was heaving from the excitement of not knowing exactly what he was going to do to me. I just knew I wasn’t going to stop him. I was going in happily blind. I was shaking a little.
“You’re nervous? Don’t be scared.”
“I’m just excited. It’s been a while.”
“Your body will remember me.”
Elec pulled the top of my dress down so that my bare br**sts were exposed. He gently pushed all of my hair back before not so gently grabbing a hold of my neck. It felt good, though. He lowered his mouth to it, grazing me with his teeth.
“This f**king neck…was almost the death of me…my favorite thing in the entire world,” he said as he sucked and groaned into it, vibrating through my skin. “I can practically smell how much you want me, Greta. He kept one hand on my neck and lightly pinched my nipple with the other. “Look how hard these are. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your ni**les when they weren’t hard as steel around me. And I wish you could see your own face. Even in the dark, I can see how pink your cheeks are right now. It turns me on to no end knowing that I have that kind of effect on you. I want you to know I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life than to reclaim every inch of you. I’m going to do that now. Okay?”
I nodded, so turned on I could barely breathe. I dug my fingers into the thick black waves of his hair as he kissed upward to greedily feast on my mouth. I savored the sweet taste of his breath, and the scratch of his scruff on my face. There was nothing delicate about being with Elec, even at his softest. I flicked my tongue over his lip ring, and he growled when I lightly pulled on it. I couldn’t get enough of his mouth. I wanted it all over me.
Wetness was pooling between my legs as he knelt down on the concrete to lift my dress and slowly pull my underwear down. He looked up at me and flashed his beautiful teeth. “You won’t be needing these,” he smiled and added, “for at least a week.” He promptly put my panties in his back pocket. My legs were quivering.
He stood up slowly, and the sequence of events that followed was nothing short of a perfectly choreographed erotic tease. Every sound, every movement was hotter than the last: the unfastening of his belt, the swift lowering of his zipper, his teeth ripping the condom wrapper as he looked at me, the sound of the rubber spreading over his beautiful c**k that had been dripping with pr**um around the piercing at his tip. I was pulsating with need.
His eyes seemed to have darkened to a charcoal hue. Leaving his jeans on, he lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist, backing me against the brick wall. “Tell me if it gets to be too much,” he said gruffly.
“It wo—”
Ah!
He entered me in one stabbing thrust. He moved his hand to rest behind my head as a shield because he realized he’d almost given me a concussion.
His mouth stayed on my neck, gently biting as he f**ked me, the heat of his c**k searing. Each movement was harder than the last and only a second apart from each other.
He groaned loudly with each thrust. Someone was going to catch us. This was the roughest sex of my life, second only to the time he took me on the floor of my bedroom seven years ago. I hadn’t had sex in almost two years, and you wouldn’t have known it by how easily my body conformed to him despite how massive he was. I think I’d been wet and ready for him since the moment I first spotted him again in the garden.