“No,” I scream. “No!”
“I’m so sorry honey, I don’t know what happened but . . .”
“Please,” I wail so loudly she jerks back. “No.”
“Miss, calm down,” the nurse says.
“He doesn’t deserve this,” I sob. “Momma, please.”
Mom chokes back her own sob. “I know honey.”
I start crying so hard, so fucking hard that I don’t even realize Mom is taken from the room. All I know is that a moment later, two hands are gripping my face. “Hey.”
It’s Brody.
“Aria, open your eyes.”
I’m hiccupping and sobbing, but I force my eyes open. Brody is staring down at me, his eyes glassy. God, if something happens to Ripley . . . no. It can’t. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to lose . . . my family.
“Listen to me,” he says softly. “You gotta clam down.”
“H-h-h-h-he . . .”
“Hey,” he says, firmer now. “You gotta calm down or the nurse is going to make you calm down.”
I hiccup again and nod, but the tears keep pouring from my eyes. Brody strokes a thumb over one of them and murmurs, “He’s gonna get through this, you hear me?”
I sob and nod.
“And so are you.”
He lifts his head and looks to the door, and then lets me go and steps back. I turn my head to see Blade and Jack standing at the door. They look like hell. Jack’s eyes are red and bloodshot and Blade looks as if he’s been running a marathon and hasn’t stopped all day. Their eyes swing to me, and my tears fall harder.
Jack steps forward first and places a rough, scratchy hand to my cheek. This brings me so much comfort. “So fucking glad to see you awake, honey.”
I swallow and nod, trying to stop my tears.
“How’re you feeling?”
Who cares how I’m feeling?
“Jack,” I croak. “I tried.”
“Tried what?” Blade asks, finally speaking.
His eyes are soft and he looks as if he wants to reach out and take me into his arms, but he can’t. No matter how much I want him to.
“I tried to help him,” I whisper, looking away.
“What happened out there, honey?” Jack says. “It might help if the doctors know.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It’s time they all knew.
“Ripley . . . he’s been struggling. He’s been confiding in me about those struggles.”
All the men’s eyes narrow, and set onto my face.
“Struggle?” Brody asks, confused.
I take the time to look each one of them in the eyes before I say, “Ripley is gay.”
They all have a different reaction. Blade’s hands turn into fists, Jack gasps and Brody looks away with a tight jaw.
I go on quickly. “He’s been hiding it because he loves you all so much. He didn’t want to let you down, but most of all he didn’t want you all to hate him.”
“Jesus,” Blade growls. “Stupid fuckin’ boy.”
“He thought I’d hate him?” Jack breathes, looking so hurt it crushes me.
Brody still says nothing.
“He’s scared, he’s unsure, and he feels different to all of you. He feels he doesn’t fit in because he isn’t as rugged and strong. He didn’t want to lose you guys.”
“My boy,” Jack rasps. “Fuck. I should have known.”
“How did that end up with this?” Brody finally says through clenched teeth.
“He’s been seeing someone,” I say softly. “A guy named Matty. A group of guys he went to school with found out and taunted him. He came to my house and we went for a milkshake. We were talking, and luck would have it they were walking past. They started taunting him and saying crude things about me, so Ripley got up and he threw a punch.”
“Ripley threw a punch?” Jack asks.
I smile painfully. “Yeah, he was defending me.”
“What happened next?” Blade asks, his eyes on mine.
“There were five of them,” My throat suddenly gets tight as I remember how desperate I felt. “They were just laying into him. I tried to help; I threw myself in the fight to get him out. He was on the floor and . . .” I start sobbing again and this time it’s Blade who takes my hand, squeezing it. “He wasn’t moving. There was so much blood. Some people had stepped in to help, but I just wanted to get to him.”
“Jesus, honey,” Jack says. “You tried to save my boy.”
“After he tried to defend me,” I cry, dropping my head.
“What happened to you?” Brody asks.
I swallow. “I leapt onto this guy’s back, trying to get him to back away. I was just ripping into his hair, trying to make him hurt, and he slammed me backwards into a tree.”
Blade’s hand goes so tight around mine I feel as if he’s going to snap it off.
“Oh sweetheart,” Jack says. “I’m so sorry.”
“What for?” I sob, wiping the tears away furiously. “It isn’t me who . . . who . . .”
“Hey,” Jack says, stepping over to my left. He leans down and cups my face. “Don’t you dare. We’re all prayin’ for Lee, but honey, when you were down and out . . . we were all prayin’ for you, too.”
I start crying harder and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. Blade’s hand releases mine and right away I want it back. Jack holds me and I clutch his shirt, crying so hard my body shakes. The nurse comes in, offers some ‘assistance’ for my hysteria, and Blade tells her to fuck off, literally. When my crying has subsided, Jack finally pulls back and swipes my cheeks dry with his shirt.