I flinch and step back. “Sit down, calm down, and we’ll talk.”
He spins to me. “I’ve been fightin’ it, been doin’ the right thing. I pushed you away. I made sure I did everything that was required of me to make things right with Peyton. I let myself feel for her, and she fuckin’ does this.”
“Blade, honey,” I try but he keeps rambling.
“I lied to you,” he bellows, pacing the room. “I don’t fuckin’ love her.”
Okay then. I sit on the end of the bed and let him vent.
“I wanted to love her. I did. I cared for her and so this shit . . . it fuckin’ burns. It burns not just because she had the fuckin’ nuts to do it, but because I’ve been fighting doing it myself for the last two weeks.”
My eyes go wide.
He turns to me. “Seeing you in my office everyday has killed me, Aria. I want you. I want you so fucking bad my cock burns for you every time you’re in the same room.”
Oh. Well. Um.
“I need to fuck you, I need to lick your sweet cunt because if I don’t, I’m going to explode.”
Okay, someone has lost it. He prowls towards me and I leap up, taking a few steps back. “Blade, you just lost Peyton, and . . .”
“And what?” he barks. “What?”
Oh dear.
“You . . . told me you loved her. Now you’re saying you don’t.”
He runs his hands through his hair. “I never did. I wanted you to think that because if you came near me I wouldn’t have been able to stop you, but I also didn’t want to be that guy . . . the one who cheated. I fuckin’ tried. I really did.”
Right. That’s cleared up then.
“You’re hurt. You need to think.”
“Fuck thinking,” he growls, backing me into the wall. “Peyton did me a favor. I’m fuckin’ angry at her for it, because of the cold way she played it out, and yeah, I cared about her enough for it to hurt but I’m lying to myself if I say I haven’t thought about doing the exact same thing a thousand times over.”
I swallow and he leans in close. “So let’s stop this fuckin’ game here and now.”
“G-g-g-game?”
“Tell me what we’ve both been so fuckin’ stupid to keep hidden.”
“Blade, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, shifting nervously.
He slams his body against mine and I whimper. “You know,” he hisses. “You fuckin’ know.”
“Please,” I whisper. “Don’t do this to me again.”
“Say it, Tulip,” he whispers and my eyes dart to his. He licks his lips. “Fuckin’ say what we both want you to.”
What if what I want to say isn’t what he wants to hear?
I stare into his blue-gray eyes and my heart melts. Every time I look at him, he brings me comfort. I love him, and I’m tired of denying it. I’m tired of people getting in our way. I’m tired of Peyton. I’m tired of denying my feelings. I’m tired of missing him so much it hurts. So, if he wants to hear it, I’ll give it to him. I’ll give him exactly what he wants and more.
“I love you, Blade.”
His whole body jerks and he closes his eyes, dropping his head, pressing his forehead to mine. He’s like that for so long I wonder if I’ve said the wrong thing. Shit, have I said the wrong thing? I begin to panic and go to shift when he looks up at me.
“What the fuck are we going to do?”
No I love you back? My heart sinks. I guess I thought he’d say it back, after all this time. Maybe he isn’t ready. Maybe I need to stop looking so much into things and learn to relax a bit. He just got his heart stomped on by another girl.
“I honestly don’t know.”
“It’s not as simple as having a relationship. Nancy and Dad, they live together now. The town all know them; they all know us. If this goes south . . .”
“I know,” I whisper.
“But fuck,” he says, staring so intently at me, that my skin prickles. “When I look at you, Tulip, I don’t ever wanna fuckin’ look away.”
I swallow and my body goes warm. He presses his against mine and I whimper. I want him; I’m so fucking done waiting for it. He goes on before I can speak.
“I have tried to stop thinkin’ of you, tried to move on, but there was a connection. It was there and it was everything. The problem with that is that it’s still there.”
I nod, because my throat is too tight for words.
“I just don’t want to stay away from you anymore.”
Oh god.
He crushes his lips against mine, and I’m right there with him. I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him, I kiss him so hard I have no doubt his lips will bruise, but I don’t give a damn and neither does he. We kiss until we’re panting. We kiss until my towel drops. We kiss until he’s rubbing his cock up my exposed slit. We kiss until my fingers are tangled in his hair and he’s hissing my name.
“Fuck me,” I gasp. “Fuck me so hard I forget the pain.”
“Plan to,” he says gruffly.
He keeps his hands around my waist and uses it to rotate my pussy against his jean-clad cock. I gasp out his name and clutch him tighter, driving my nails into his scalp. He hisses my name and one hand frees me to cup my breasts. He does this roughly and I like it—no, I love it. He kneads until I’m gasping and then his fingers slide down my body and into my wet flesh. I’m so ready for him.