Chapter 30
October 19, 1864
I'm out of danger, but I don't feel safe. I wonder if I'll ever feel safe again, or will I forever long for a desire that I'll never fulfill? Will I get used to the ache? Twenty, two hundred, two thousand years from now, will I even remember these weeks? And will I remember Callie and her red hair, her laugh?
I will. I have to. Callie has saved me and given me another chance at life. In a way, it's like she was the daylight that followed the darkness Katherine had cast upon my existence. Katherine turned me into a monster, but Callie has changed me back into the Stefan Salvatore I'm proud to be.
I wish her love. I want nothing but the best for her. I want for her to live in the light and find a man--a human--who will appreciate and adore her, who will take her away from Gallagher's house forever to a quiet home on a lake, where she can teach her children to skip stones.
I woke in the middle of the night to what I thought were hailstones bouncing against the windowpane. Despite Lexis rules, I peeked through a tiny slit in the curtains and squinted into the darkness. The trees were bare, their branches like ghostly limbs stretching toward the sky. Though it was a moonless night, I could see a raccoon scamper through the yard. And then, a figure standing timidly behind one of the columns on the portico.
Callie.
I hastily pulled on a shirt and slipped down the stairs, taking care to not make any noise. The last thing I wanted was for Buxton or Lexi to know that a human had followed me home.
The door shut with a thud behind me, and I saw Callie jump.
"Im here," I whispered, feeling thrilled, confused, and excited, all at once.
"Hi," she said shyly.
"Are you going somewhere?" I asked, nodding at her bag.
"I hope so." She clasped my hands with her own. "Stefan, I dont care what you are. Ive never cared. And I want to be with you." She looked into my eyes. "I I love you."
I gazed at the ground, a lump in my throat. Back when I was a human, I thought Id loved Katherine until I saw her, chained up, muzzled, and foaming at the mouth. Id felt nothing but disgust at that vision. And yet Callie had seen me unconscious, bleeding from vervain, staked by captors, and pummeling my brother in the ring, and she still loved me. How was that possible?
"You dont have to respond," Callie rushed on. "I just had to tell you. And Im leaving no matter what. I cant stay here with Father, not after everything thats happened. Im getting on the train, and you can come with me. But you dont have to. But I want you to," she babbled.
"Callie!" I interrupted, placing a finger to her lips. Her eyes widened, shifting between fear and hope.
"I would go with you anywhere," I said. "I love you, too, and I will for the rest of my life."
"You mean your un-life," she said, her eyes dancing. "How did you know where I lived?" I asked, suddenly shy.
Callie blushed. "I followed you home once. When you ran away after the first vampire fight. I wanted to know everything about you."
"Well, now you do."
Unable to restrain myself, I pulled her into my arms and lowered my lips to hers, no longer afraid to hear the blood coursing in her veins or to hear her heart beat faster in anticipation. She tightened her grip around me, and our lips touched. I hungrily kissed her, feeling the softness of her lips against mine. My fangs didnt grow, my desire was all for her, in her human form, as she was.
She was soft and warm and tasted like tangerines. In those moments, I imagined our future. Wed take the train as far away from New Orleans as possible, maybe to California, or perhaps even sail to Europe. Wed nest in a little cottage and keep livestock for me to feed from, and Callie and I would live out our days together, away from the prying eyes of society.
A nagging thought tugged at the corner of my mind: Would I turn her? I hated the thought of doing it, of sinking my teeth into her white neck, of making her live a life in which she craved blood and feared the daylight, but I also couldnt bear the thought of seeing her grow old and die in front of me. I shook my head, trying to release those thoughts. I could deal with them later. We both could.
"Stefan," Callie murmured, but then the murmur turned into a gasp, and she slipped out of my clutches and onto the ground. A butchers knife stuck into her back, blood pooling out of it.
"Callie!" I cried, sinking to my knees. "Callie!"