“Of course.”
“He’s not really a good guy, is he?”
“No, he’s not. That’s why I wanted to be him. Even with the occasional rumor, people saw me as bright and clean and perfect before I did that movie. And now they see me as him.”
“And you like that?”
“Yeah, because he’s damaged, Grace. And so am I. We all are. People relate to that, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just… human nature.”
I know Vaughn’s really talking about me, but I don’t care. I’m done talking about me for now and he’s gonna let it go, and for that I’m grateful. But I don’t want him to think that all that serious talk was a waste, either. I want him to know that I’m listening. “I don’t need a public declaration, Vaughn.”
“Yes, you do, Grace. But we have time for that. Believe me, life will be filled with public moments tomorrow. Let’s enjoy the private ones we have left tonight.”
I couldn’t agree more. So I let him lead me into his not-so-movie-star house. We walk through the halls and end up in a home theater, but not the kind with oversized leather chairs set up stadium-seating style. There’s a huge sectional sofa in the shape of a square. It’s not leather, either. It’s something soft and plush. And there’s pillows and blankets.
“Have I mentioned I love to watch movies?” he asks me, pointing to the couch. “Climb in, Grace,” he commands. I crawl on the couch and settle against the back. He disappears for a second, then returns just as the movie begins to display on the white screen in front of us.
“It’s huge. I’ve never seen a projection screen so big in a house before.”
He shoots me a smirk. “Size always matters.” And then he bounces on the couch next to me. The room is filled with the surround-sound experience and I’m swept into the world of the Invisible Man.
But Vaughn twines his fingers with mine. He pulls me so close, I’m part of him. He wraps me up and whispers his lines in my ear.
The man next to me turns into the man on the screen. Vaughn Asher might not be a prince to the outside world, but in here, he’s my hero. It’s something very private, I think. To watch him be his art. To be pulled into his experience. To have him perform this movie just for me.
And even though I told him I needed the declaration to be public, I was wrong.
The only people who matter in this relationship are right here in this room.
Chapter Fourteen#ThereIsAlwaysTimeForPussy
THE FLIGHT back to Denver is too short and when we land at Centennial Airport, it hits me that my fantasy weekend is over. This is so much worse than coming home from Saint Thomas. Back then, I was pretty sure I would never see Vaughn Asher again. But now I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I don’t want him to leave.
I hate the clinginess. I’ve never liked getting to attached to men and even though I really, really, really like Vaughn, I still hate that feeling. I know that the minute he leaves I’ll be thinking about when I can see him next. I’ll be checking my phone for texts, or Twitter for a chance at some sexy banter.
There’s a limo waiting for us, so the ride back to my neighborhood is filled with chitchat, phone calls for Vaughn, and in my case, an explosion of regret.
I regret not being more honest with him. For not being more adventurous with him last night. When IM2 was over we watched another movie and I fell asleep. We fell asleep. Right there on the movie couch. And that’s where we stayed all night. No goodbye sex. No proclamations of… whatever. No see-you-next-time plans.
So regrets. Lots of them, actually.
I look up at Vaughn and he’s watching me intently as he talks on the phone about a meeting he has later today. It’s Sunday, but his next project is directing the IM spin-off and from what I can gather, it’s a seven-days-a-week kind of thing. What’s wrong? he mouths.
I smile and shake my head. And then I look out the window. We’re just getting off the freeway near the Pepsi Center and heading towards LoDo where I live. The limo is not long, thank God, because as soon as we turn onto Wazee Street, things close in and the streets get narrow. My building is just shy of the 16th Street Mall, and there is no parking out front. I’m just about to tell the driver he might want to swing into the alley, but he’s a step ahead of me. He maneuvers the limo past cars and finally pulls into the small lot that belongs to my building. My car is right where I left it.
As soon as we stop Vaughn is off the phone. “OK, ready?” he asks, taking my hand.
“For?”
The door opens from the outside and Vaughn tugs on my hand as he exits the car, pulling me along with him. I step out into the familiar lot and blink back the bright sunshine. Somewhere church bells are ringing. “I feel like I’ve been gone forever.”
Vaughn just smiles wide as he leads me up to the back door.
“Shit,” I say. “I don’t even know where my key is. I think I left it back in Vegas!”
“I had your stuff packed up from your room, Grace. It’s upstairs. But you won’t need it.”
“I need it to get in the building!” But as soon as the words come out, Vaughn jingles a keychain at me. “You have a key to my building?”
He shakes his head and inserts the key in the lock. “You mean”—he pushes the door open and I step inside, confused—“my building?”
“What. The. Fuck?”