Matt released her hands and they went to his hair, sinking into the thick strands, stroking his scalp. Unconsciously offering comfort and praise. His weight on top of her felt unbelievable, as did clean the scent of his shampoo. She wanted to stay like that forever, unconventional a setting as it was. A sense of contentment tingled along her spine.
That’s when Lucy knew she had to get the hell out of there. As she lay there, cradling Matt to her chest, holding him as his body vibrated in the aftermath of their lovemaking, it became brutally obvious she had serious, incurable feelings for him. She’d been stupid to think she could give him a mind-blowing sexual experience and walk away whistling Dixie, secure in her retained pride. With every encounter, sexual or otherwise, this connection she felt between them grew. Once again, she’d been too impulsive and it would cost her now.
But she had to go. Continuing like this, maintaining a physical relationship behind closed doors, would kill her. She inhaled deeply of his scent one final time, then wiggled underneath Matt until he stood back outside the car. Penetrating her with his eyes, he helped her sit up and fix her dress with gentle hands, so different from how they’d been minutes before. She did her best to keep her gaze averted as she searched the car for her purse.
“Lucy. Look at me.”
Allowing a smile to form, she kept the rest of her face blank. As in, would you like fries with that? “I have to go.”
His eyebrows shot up. “The f**k you do. Not like this.”
A hot clench in her belly had Lucy grinding her teeth. That forcefulness in Matt could be her downfall if she wasn’t careful. “I have a job interview.” Another lie. Might as well swing for the fences.
“At seven o’clock at night?”
She shrugged and tried to hop off the seat. “Is this the city that never sleeps, or isn’t it?”
Matt blocked her. “Why are you still interviewing?” His voice thickened with some unnamed emotion. “You’re taking the Paris job. You told me on the drive from Syracuse that you loved it there.”
Oh, that did it. She couldn’t remain cool one second longer. With both hands, she shoved against his chest. He barely moved, inciting her wrath even further. “I’m not taking the Paris job, you moron. But don’t worry, my staying in New York has nothing to do with you. I know the score. So don’t worry about me. I know what this is.” She skirted past him. “It’s nothing.”
“Bullshit, it’s nothing.” He planted a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the coffee shop. You never leave me.”
Dammit. Tears gathered in her eyes. “I’m leaving you now.”
“No,” he breathed.
“Yes. You can’t just show up whenever you feel like screwing me, Matt. I’m better than that.”
Her words brought him up short. “Jesus, Lucy. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” He fell back against his car. “You’re better than me. That’s what this is about.”
Lucy’s anger took a nosedive. “Explain that to me.”
“You actually have to ask me after I f**k you in a parking garage?” His throat worked as he glanced toward the opposite end of the underground space. After a stretch of silence, he pushed off the car and closed the distance between them. Lucy couldn’t breathe, the look in his eyes was so fierce. “Listen to me, I—”
Sirens. The loud, continuous sound drowned out whatever Matt was going to say. It didn’t stop, but continued to grow louder, the sound of speeding police vehicles above their heads impossible to ignore. Lucy and Matt exchanged a glance that she didn’t need words to interpret. She nodded once and he strode back to his car, pulling his cell phone from the console. As she watched him closely, his muscles went rigid under his T-shirt, right hand flexing at his side in a familiar gesture. She remembered seeing it when he spoke about being a sniper. A feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach.
“What’s wrong?”
When his gaze met hers, it was perfectly blank. That alarmed her even more. “Everything will be fine, but I’m needed downtown.”
Lucy forced her lips to move. “It sounds like everyone is.”
“Get in the car. I’ll drop you off on the way.”
She waved him off. “I’ll be okay. Hayden’s place isn’t far from here.”
“I’m not leaving you here.” His voice was deathly silent. “If I don’t get you home, I won’t be able to concentrate. Get in, please.”
She didn’t ask why he needed his full concentration, just moved as quickly as she could toward the passenger side and climbed inside. He peeled out of the parking spot and had her in front of Hayden’s town house within minutes. She tried not to let panic set in as sirens flew past them on every single avenue. Lucy wanted to ask what was happening, if he would be all right, but was terrified of the answer. Minutes ago, she’d been prepared to walk away from him, but in light of the danger she sensed, the very idea seemed absurd. She wanted to throw her arms around him and beg him to stay. His stiff posture forbade it, though. Wherever he was headed when he left her, it had his full attention.
As she climbed out, she looked back. “Be careful, Matt.”
After a single nod, he pulled away, leaving Lucy staring after him on the sidewalk.
Chapter Fifteen
Matt lay perfectly still on his stomach, watching the building across the street, his finger resting on the trigger of his rifle. He could see the man in his scope, could take him down with a single shot. If he didn’t have a bomb strapped to his chest capable of decimating an entire city block, he would have already done it. Instead, he’d been ordered to hold his fire and wait. His perch in the tenth-floor window of a high-rise gave Matt an unobstructed view into the bank where the man paced back and forth. The NYPD had evacuated the bank building as much as possible, through side exits and back doors, in addition to the surrounding area. However, the customers on the main floor of the bank stood huddled together, looks of horror on their faces as the man continually ignored phone calls from Daniel, who had been called to the scene as lead hostage negotiator.
In his ear piece, Matt could hear his friend’s low curse as his call into the bank’s main line went unanswered for the fourth time. Daniel, along with Brent, their explosives expert, and dozens of ESU officers were on the first floor, ten stories beneath him. With such vastly different specialties, the three of them were rarely called in at the same time, but this situation required each of their specific talents. Especially Brent’s, although Matt prayed like hell he didn’t have to walk into that bank. Please don’t let it come to that.
Back at the parking garage, he’d seen the emergency message on his department cell phone calling him to a scene involving highly volatile explosives. He hadn’t been able to tell Lucy. To look her in the face after already hurting her once and explain what kind of situation he and Brent were heading into. If she’d shown an ounce of worry or fear, he would never have been able to drive away.
As usual when he was in this position, the noise around him faded into nothingness, his measured breaths coming in time with his heartbeat. The drumming in his chest felt different this time, though. Not as steady as usual. Duller. More than a little painful as it knocked rhythmically against his rib cage. The silence he’d created around him couldn’t stop Lucy’s words from drifting through his head. I know the score. I know what this is. It’s nothing.