My throat swelled. “Maddie,” I called and leaned in to her mouth. Maddie’s breathing was as fast as mine, then I leaned in further and pressed my lips to hers.
She was so soft.
I never wanted to break away.
When I pulled back, Maddie asked, “What is your name?”
My muscles froze and I asked, “My name?” A white hot pain ripped through my fucking skull.
“Yes,” she answered quietly. “What was your name before you were Flame?”
My eyes squeezed shut, and I pulled my hand back and clawed at my arm. I hissed as the flames ignited… I hated that fucking name. I HATED that fucking name!
“Shh… Flame, calm,” Maddie soothed. I looked up to see her holding out her hand. “Forget that I asked, it is unimportant, just as my former name is now nothing to me.”
I wanted to claw at my skin, when I heard his voice growling that name in my head, but Maddie closed in further, and swallowing her nerves, she slowly wrapped her arms around me. I fucking froze as her hands touched my back then, as his voice disappeared under Maddie’s touch, I wrapped my arms around her too. I breathed fast into her neck, relaxing as her fingers traced up and down my spine.
I squeezed my eyes shut and held on tight, then Maddie whispered, “I am Maddie and you are Flame. We are no longer who we were before.” I pulled her closer as she spoke those words. In minutes I’d relaxed on the bed I’d never slept in, holding my Maddie close…
… falling asleep as I held her, like I did in her picture.
Chapter Nineteen
Maddie
I could feel Flame’s eyes watching me as I brushed through my hair and tied it back in a bun.
I smoothed my hands over my dress and slipped my feet into my shoes. Checking the time, I saw that Mae, Lilah and Sarai would be here for me any minute. Turning round, Flame was sitting against the wall, his dark eyes watching me.
My heart fluttered, and a blush coated my cheeks when I remembered waking this morning, my head laying on his chest and his arm around my shoulders.
And there were no nightmares. I had no unwanted memories of my time in the commune. And for once, I woke not to the intense fear that my new freedom was nothing save a dream, but to the heady knowledge that I was in Flame’s cabin, safe. And his huge arms were holding me close.
We lay in silence, wrapped in each other’s arms, for most of the morning. Until I had lifted my head and smiled at Flame’s expressionless face. I had lost my happy demeanor instantly.
“What is wrong?” I had asked.
Flame’s jaw tensed and he said, “Last night I laid in this bed, with you in my arms, listening to you sleep. But I barely slept. I couldn’t sleep thinking of you leaving to go to that church. I couldn’t sleep worrying about finding this with you, being able to touch you, kiss you… and losing you.” Flame had turned over his scarred arms, showing me his wrist and, running his arm along the flesh, he had said, “You cool the flames. But without you they come back. When I’m angry they come back. And when I think of you going in that fucking church, I can feel them waking. I can feel them beginning to push through my veins.”
Sitting up, I cupped Flame’s cheeks in my hands, his beard tickling my palms, and I said, “I will be fine. And the flames are not there. Think of me if they come back. Remember holding me and your touch not harming me.”
Flame had nodded his head, but his eyes remained on his wrist. Since then he had not said much.
As I lowered to the floor, Flame looked up. “They will be here soon,” I said, and reached out my hand. Flame took it in his, and his nostrils flared. “I will not be long. In that time, I think you should sleep.” I lifted my hand to run my finger along the dark circles under his eyes. “You are tired.”
Flame stared away across the room, and I knew the thought of my going to church frightened him. And when I thought of what was done to him as a child in his place of worship, I had to fight back my anger at what he’d endured.
A knock sounded at the door. Flame tensed. Getting to my feet, Flame rose to his, his large frame towering over me. The silence was stifling as he stared down at me. Putting both his hands on my cheek, he leaned down and softly pressed his lips against mine.
They were so soft. So gentle. My eyes welled with tears, because I knew that kiss was how he felt about me. I knew from that kiss that he cared beyond measure. That I was precious to him. And that he did not want me to go.
Pulling back, Flame put his forehead to mine and exhaled a breath. I ran my hand up his arm and whispered, “I shall miss you too.”