As for Sin, he’d disappeared. Not a soul knew where he had gone, though his sisters seemed quite tight-lipped and cagey about the subject. Now Eliza had a fine home, one on which she’d spent a fortune – Mab’s old fortune – to have redone. Gone were the gaudy trappings, the endless greens and ornate flowering brocades.
Eliza gravitated toward simple luxury now. Understated creams, blues, and golds. Calm and peaceful. Nothing like how she felt inside, empty and aching.
“Don’t you look a sight,” said a man’s voice.
Eliza nearly jumped out of her skin, her heart rearing up into her throat. Pressing her hand upon her breast, she turned and glared. “St. John Evernight, you gave me a fright.”
Sin, looking far too pale and thin, gave a small smile. “Apologies. I’ve been told I walk on cat’s feet.” His expression dimmed at that, and he gave a negligent shrug. “I thought you might like some company.”
“I would…” Eliza shook herself out of her shocked state. “I was just thinking of you.”
“Not too terrible thoughts, I hope?” He appeared to expect the opposite.
“Don’t be ridiculous. But where have you been? Everyone is concerned.”
He shook his head, appearing bemused. “I’ve grave doubts that everyone is. In truth, my sisters are not happy with me at the moment.”
“They found out about your bond with Mab.”
“Close enough.” He winced and rubbed a spot over his chest.
Eliza hurt for the way he so clearly hated himself. “Well, I worried. I care.”
“You’re too good to me, cousin.” But his shoulders relaxed a bit as he sat in the chair opposite her and offered a small, weak smile.
“Nonsense. I could be better.” Eliza leaned forward. “Stay here with me, Sin. As you can see, I’ve cleaned house.”
“Yes,” he said, glancing about, “and quite nicely at that. I approve. But I cannot stay.”
“Mab is dead. Do not let her memory hurt you.”
He made a small sound of dry humor. “Believe me, no one is more glad of that fact than I.”
“Which means you are free.”
“Yes.” He did not sound happy but weary.
“Then why haven’t you returned home? Why can’t you stay?”
He glanced towards the window, and the morning sun cast his fine feature in harsh light. “I think it best if I go away for a while. See what there is of the world.” He turned back, his green eyes searching. “You could come with me, if you’d like. We could have an adventure or two.”
It was just the thing Eliza had always yearned to do. But she no longer wanted to do it with anyone else but the man who’d left her behind. Perhaps that knowledge was clear upon her face, for Sin’s hopeful expression dimmed.
He slouched in his chair. “I’ve heard Adam has gone for good.” His tone was gentle.
Not that it mattered. It still hurt. Far more than Eliza wanted it to. Blasted Adam. “Yes.”
Sin peered at her. “So then you never warmed to him?”
“Must we discuss this?” Eliza plucked at her sleeve, then curled her legs up and under her within the well of her comfortable chair.
“We might talk of other things, yes.” Sin shrugged. “Only you appear… sad, cousin. Like your heart’s been broken.”
Before she could stop it, her eyes instantly watered, and a horrible sniffle broke free. “Oh, well, it’s better to have loved and lost… Hell, I can’t even finish that nonsense.” Eliza wrenched herself from the chair and went to the window, only to walk away. She was pacing. Which was never a good sign.
“You love him, then.”
Sin’s quiet conviction slashed into wounds that had yet to scab over. Eliza sucked in a breath. “What does it matter? He did not want me to go with him.”
The mantle clock ticked merrily away, a rapid click, click, click. Eliza was of a mind to toss the timepiece out the window.
“Eliza,” Sin said softly, “you do realize that for you to have gone with Adam to his world, you would have had to leave this one?”
Eliza’s breath stilled. Slowly she turned. “What do you mean?”
Sin’s handsome face was somber. “I mean, dear girl, that Adam’s realm is of the dead. The living cannot go there.”
“So I would have to die?”
“It isn’t really death though, is it?” Sin ran a hand over his mouth, his brows drawing close. “I mean, you are not of this body, but of the soul that resides within?”
“I’ve been a spirit, Sin,” Eliza said through dry lips. “It was not very pleasant.” She’d felt nothing, just as Adam had felt nothing for centuries. Adam. She missed him so very much.
“That is because you were hovering here. From how Daisy tells it” – a shadow filled his eyes upon the mention of his sister – “when you are There, you feel as whole and as real as you were on this side of the coin. As if you were alive There and a spirit Here.”
“So I would be as I am here but with —”
“Him,” Sin finished for her. “Yes.” He hesitated, wincing slightly. “But you wouldn’t be able to come back here. I don’t believe so, at any rate.”
Eliza pinched the bridge of her nose, tears pricking at the backs of her eyes. “Not every soul goes to him. Some move on.” True death, Adam and Lucien had called it, to a place no one living had ever been. What if she were to end up there?