“I’m cold, Mason.” She bites her lip, looking anything but cold. She takes deliberately slow steps toward me and I’m a second away from dropping at her feet. This girl is a goddess and I am her slave. “Keep me warm?”
I take two quick steps and drag her against me. This time she doesn’t stop me from colliding with her mouth. I grip her ass and lift her. She wraps her legs around my hips. Walking backward, I collapse onto the old loveseat. “You feel... plenty warm,” I gasp.
“Oh, good. It’s working then.” She smiles and nips my neck. She presses into me as her tongue massages my skin and I forget my reply. With expert movements, Hope unhooks her bra, tossing it to the floor. “Mason,” she breathes against my ear.
“Yeah?” I choke out.
“I’m having a great time on our date.” I laugh, grabbing her tightly. This hasn’t gone according to plan, but it’s been the best night of my life.
“What are you doing tomorrow? Because I wouldn’t mind doing this every night.”
She kisses me, softly at first, but the longer it goes on, the rougher her mouth becomes. Her hand glides into my boxers and as she grabs me I nearly lose it from one touch. “Every night,” she repeats my words.
“I love you, Hope.” I can’t stop saying it. I want to shout it. I want everyone to know it.
“Show me,” she whispers.
And so I do.
Chapter 32
Hope
“I forgot about these last night,” Mason says, sliding a square container across the lunch table. I feel my cheeks warm, remembering why he forgot. “Your chocolate.”
I pop the lid off and stare at the chocolate covered strawberries. Damn him and his mission to get me to eat fruits and vegetables. He smirks knowingly as I pick one up. Cheese and rice. Chocolate covered strawberries are the absolute best things ever. “Mmm,” I moan. He kisses me, his tongue searching for chocolate on my lips.
“I want one,” Chase whines. I reluctantly pull away from Mason and offer the container around the table.
“So, about tonight,” Guy says slowly. “I told Warren we’d play his party.” I glare at him and he hurries on. “I assumed that was okay since Park renounced his condition and we could all use the money. We need to be there by eight. Park’s stopping by so we can run through a quick practice after school.” He shifts to face Mason. “I told him you would most likely be there and he said he’d be cool as long as you keep your distance from him.”
Mason’s jaw tightens, a fine vein on his neck standing out. “Yeah, man. I won’t be striking up a conversation with him.”
Chase laughs around a bite of strawberry. “I love a good fight.”
“Nobody’s gonna fight, Chase,” I say quickly. “Shut up.”
Chase shakes his head, smirking. “Park’s been lit all week. You know he’ll be wasted at the party. Alcohol tends to loosen one’s inhibitions. The minute he sees Mason touch you, he’ll be all over his ass.” He nods at Mason and rubs his hands together. “I’m just saying, shit’s about to get interesting.”
Mason massages his forehead and stares at me for a moment. “He starts shit with me, I’m going to defend myself. If he starts shit with you, I’m going to defend you. I just want that out there now.”
“Then I’m not going,” I say.
“You have to go,” Guy replies. I give him a hard look and he rolls his eyes. “I’ll talk to Park again. Nothing will happen. This afternoon can be, like, a dress rehearsal. If anything goes down at practice, then we won’t go to the party.”
Mason squeezes my hand and smiles. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“I’m not worried about you,” I mumble. My phone vibrates on the table and Mason’s eyes scrunch as he reads the name.
“Who’s Princess Bitch?” he asks, chuckling.
“Annie,” Guy and Chase say at the same time.
I read her text and close my eyes. Inhaling deeply, I send back a reply. “She’s going to the party with us,” I announce.
“Oh, joy,” Guy states flatly.
“Hell yeah,” Chase says. “Fights and cheerleaders. It’s gonna be an epic night.”
Guy backhands his arm. “Dude, would you shut up already?”
Chase rubs his arm, laughing quietly. “What?”
“What’s his name in your phone?” Mason asks me, not so subtly changing the subject. He nods at Chase and I smile.
“Escalator.”
He lifts one brow. “Escalator?”
Guy and I laugh. Chase glares at us and crosses his arms. I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. “Dumbass got his shoe lace caught in an escalator at the mall,” I say. “What was it? Like a year ago? Anyway, his lace gets caught and he falls flat on his face. Guy had to take the shoe off to get him free. Then Park cuts the laces to free the shoe. Funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” I laugh again.
“He cried like a little baby, thinking he was going to get sucked into the escalator,” Guy adds. “We had to take him straight home so he could change his pants.”
Mason chuckles and Chase smacks the table. “I did not piss myself! Somebody spilled a drink on the floor and it got on me when I landed. Shut the fuck up.”
We laugh harder and Chase shakes his head, fighting his own laughter. “You guys are dicks. I could’ve died.”
I can barely breathe now. I lean into Mason and wipe at my eyes once again. It’s been awhile since I laughed this hard.
“That’s all right, man,” Mason says. “Same thing happened to me once.”
Chase sits forward. “Really?”
Mason shakes his head, grinning. “Hell no. I tie my freaking shoes.”
Guy bangs his fist on the table and points at Mason, unable to talk. He tries to throw his hand over his mouth, but it’s too late. Orange drink spews across the table and we all wail with obnoxious laughter. I jump up to grab napkins. I make it only a few feet before I catch Park watching me. His expression is amused, but he also seems kind of sad. I offer him a smile. I don’t know if he returns it because I drop my gaze and grab the much needed napkins.
Mason is perched on Guy’s amp and I sit on the floor between his legs, my head resting on his thigh. It’s weird how this is normal already. The way we connect ourselves has become second nature. There’s no awkwardness in the way we reach for each other. If we’re close enough to touch then we do. His fingers brush through my hair in a hypnotic way that has my eyes fluttering. It’s one of those really great moments where the silence isn’t awkward. Instead, it’s soothing and completely comfortable.
It doesn’t last. Guy clomps down the stairs, followed by Chase. “Get your lazy ass up,” Guy shouts. “We’ve got preparations to…prepare.”
I smile, but stay right where I am. I’m not ready to move away from Mason yet. “Park’s not here.”
“Yes, he is,” Park says as his legs appear on the steps. He runs down the remaining stairs, his footfalls light. His eyes find me immediately, take in my position, and flick away quickly. Rubbing his hands together and staring at the wall, he adds, “Let’s get this over with.”
I use Mason’s knees to push myself up and he places his hands over mine. He kisses my forehead and I press into his lips. “No fighting,” I whisper. He nods, his expression innocent, and I wonder how sincere he is. I squint at him and he chuckles, releasing my hands.
“I’ll be good. Promise.” I can’t help it, I shiver at those words. His little reminder that I asked him not to be good. Even though it’s totally different, he gets the desired effect. All I can think about now is his lips, his hands, his body, and the way they press against me.
“Can we maybe do this sometime today?” Park sighs. “I’ve got shit to do.” I blink out of my desire-hazed thoughts and reluctantly turn away from Mason.
Chase gasps. “What? You have other friends? I feel so…so betrayed.” He wipes away a pretend tear.
Park’s face is stoic. He shakes his head and picks up a mic. “Yeah? Join the club. I ordered jackets.”
I bite my lip to hold in my retort. Snatching my drumsticks off the snare, I plop down behind the drum set and slam my foot down on the base peddle. Mason catches my eye and I’m surprised to see something like regret tracing his features. His gaze slides to Park and I realize it’s more like pity. Mason feels bad for Park. My stomach pulls tight, twisting, and I feel nauseous suddenly. If Mason feels bad for Park then what does that say about me? It’s not like I didn’t feel bad already knowing I hurt him, but to have Mason thinking it—hurts. Too much.
My eyes burn. My stomach churns. I hate feeling like this. I want to scream. I need to cut. My fingers squeeze the drum sticks until my knuckles whiten. I bang them down hard enough to knock the snare over, but I don’t care. I just kick it out of the way and shove past Guy. He reaches for me and I flinch away. I just want out of this basement. Away from Park. Away from Mason.
“Hope,” Park calls, an apology in his voice.
“Fuck off,” I murmur.
I pound up the stairs and straight out the back door. I don’t even know where I’m going.
“Hope?” I freeze at the sound of Park’s voice and tuck my hands into my sides. “What?” I don’t turn around. I don’t want to look at him. Mason is the first dude I have ever felt this way about, the first I’ve ever wanted to let in, and I will always pay for it.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.”
I laugh in a way that’s supposed to sound cold, but comes out strangled and pathetic. “Yes, you did.”
He’s quiet for so long, I finally glance back at him. “Okay, maybe a little. I just feel that way sometimes. It’s hard, ya know? I don’t think you understand how things were for me. How things are for me now. I didn’t believe you. When you said we weren’t together, I thought you were just talking shit. I thought you were afraid I’d hurt you or something. I thought it was your way of feeling secure. I had no idea you really meant it.” He shifts the hair out of his eyes and crosses his arms. His boots scrape at the cement step. I don’t know how to respond. All I know is there is so much guilt inside and I loathe myself so completely.
“I was in love with you.” I flinch away from his words or his tone. They both strike at me. “That’s not easy to turn off. I’m hurt and I’m pissed. I’m trying to deal because I want you in my life, but I see how you look at him.” He peers at me, that same expression on his face from lunch. “He makes you happy and I will always want that for you, but—shit—it hurts like hell that it isn’t me making you smile.” He gestures at me, frowning. “I do this to you. I know we can’t go back, but I’m going to work on being your friend.”
“Park—I loved you. I did. I do. It just wasn’t…”
“Yeah. I know.” He unhooks his arms and shoves his hands in his pockets, shrugging. “I get it now.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never meant for this to happen.”
He smiles sadly. “I know that too. You can’t help how you feel.”
“I don’t deserve you.” My voice is shaky. I take a step in his direction and he knows what I want without me having to say it. Park pulls me into a hug, his arms wrapping securely around my back. He makes a noise and sighs. “We shouldn’t make a habit of this.” He’s right. I don’t own the dating rule book, but I’m pretty sure hugging your kind of ex-boyfriend is a pretty big no-no. “I don’t want to let you go,” he whispers. I don’t know if he means the hug or something more. Either way, I pull back.