“Then I guess you’ll be the one carrying me up those stairs.”
She must have said it aloud. She wet her lips, stared up at him. “Don’t do this.”
“It’s happening. Deal with it. You promised to marry me. You’re not going to get out of it so easily.”
“Yeah, well, I promised you coffee and doughnuts this morning. See how that turned out?” Her voice was fainter. His brow creased and the pressure of his hand on her chest increased.
“Be still, baby. Just close your eyes and let it happen.”
He built the power in that circle so fast and strong, it was overwhelming. This was what he knew how to do, what came as easily to him as breathing. It didn’t matter that he was hurt, that he’d lost blood. Nothing disrupted his focus. She had to open her eyes to watch him, because as a magic user she couldn’t not watch him pull off one of the most awe-inspiring pieces of magic there was. She’d had to do it with complicated potions, chants, working with elemental energies and dipping into the Dark well of the Underworld. He simply focused the power on himself, reached into that well of…. essence, for lack of a better word, and split a chunk off for her. A piece of his soul.
He stiffened, a lance of obvious excruciating pain doubling him over. “Derek—”
She cried out then, alarmed, because suddenly she was pinned, held down by an incredible weight, as if something enormous was being pushed under her rib cage, something that would never fit, never go right…. but then, like a dislocated shoulder, it popped into place.
She was gasping, her vision blurry. Twisting to her side, she retched out black, vile-smelling liquid. The stench of it, the feel of it, told her she was seeing the Darkness she’d taken into herself, the change from those pieces of soul she’d sold for Rose’s Heaven. She knew what to do here, didn’t need to make Derek do more than he had already. She cleansed it with white fire as soon as she could prop herself on her arms. Then she turned to find him collapsed, the blood still trickling from the cut on his arm.
Scrambling drunkenly over to him, she turned him with a grunt of exertion and had a harrowing moment, trying to find his pulse. There, steady, strong. He opened his eyes.
“Going to lie here a bit. Then we’ll get that coffee.”
IT WAS AN INEXPRESSIBLE FEELING. HER SOUL, BUT something more than her soul, too, cobbled with his. That intuition they’d always shared was somehow enhanced, as if they didn’t even really need to talk at all. She was as aware of his proximity and the emotions he carried as she was of her own. Was this what twins were like? One overly large soul split apart at birth? Of course, they were already soul mates, weren’t they? She’d denied it for over three years, but as a young girl, it seemed like she’d known it before she even knew what it meant. This just enhanced the truth of it.
He did lie there for quite a while. When she could manage it, she went above, got some blankets, pillows. She wished she had some fresh flowers to bring down and add color and life to the dank basement room while he convalesced there. Funny, it had been a while since she’d thought of something like that as important. Though he grumbled about it, she brought her first-aid kit and at least cleaned the gash on his skull, which fortunately hadn’t fractured the bone, as far as she could tell.
“So not even a demon straight from Hell can crack your hard head,” she noted. “Color me shocked. This could use some stitches, you know.” She was trying to hide her worry. Her body felt revitalized, whereas he was still pale and obviously sapped. Had Derek given her too much? What if he’d simply exchanged his own life for hers? It would be like him to do that. He might be ageless, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t be killed. She’d never asked him about that.
“Are you going to die or go soulless zombie on me?” she snapped abruptly. “Did you do something that pigheaded and stupid?”
His blue eyes opened, firm mouth quirking in that way she loved, that made her heart hurt. “As much as you would obviously appreciate that sacrifice, no. What I did…. It’s like giving you a piece of lung, and the cells regenerate to create more of a lung, build on it. I gave you an extra piece of soul to adhere to your own, and as you practice the Light magic, stay away from Dark, it should strengthen it, restore you fully as time goes on.”
“And what about you?” she asked shrewdly. “How does this impact you?”
“I’ll feel its loss awhile. But as long as you’re near, I have my whole soul, don’t I?” Lifting a hand, he brushed it across her cheek. “I’m sorry about Rose.”
“No.” She shook her head, even as her voice broke a little over it. “You were right. She’s where she needs to be. It was time. I’m not sure I can ever regret holding on to her as long as I did, even though it might have been the wrong thing to do. I can’t ever regret a single second she got to be mine.”
“She’ll always be yours. Just like me.” He gave her a shadow of his usual heart-stopping smile, then paused, considering. “If we could turn back time, I wouldn’t want you to do it the way you did it…. but I’m glad I got the chance to see her, touch her.” He met her eyes, opened himself to her in a way that was new for her experience of Derek, a way that warmed the cold crevices of her heart. “I never had a child. Someone who would miss me if I wasn’t around, in a blood-related kind of way.”
She ducked her head so he wouldn’t see the tears gathering in her eyes. “If you’re as insufferable to our next child as you are to me, she’ll probably want you gone.”
“Especially if it’s a girl.”“You are a natural irritant to females,” Ruby agreed.
“Did you just put me in the same category as feminine itching?”
“If the shoe fits….”
“I’ll get even with you for that later,” he promised.
”I needed your strength to do it, to let go,” she admitted. “You’ve come in and out of my life so much, ever since I was a little girl. Giving me room to become who I am, to make my own decisions. But you’ve always been there when I truly need you, to help me get through things. I’ve told you why I pushed you away, but I didn’t tell you that, and I…. I just want you to know.”
He cupped her cheek, his thumb caressing her lips. He was so attentive, so loving, so essential to her, she wasn’t sure now just how she’d managed three years without him. Well, yeah, she did. Badly. And wouldn’t it just feed that overbearing male ego to hear her admit that? She had a responsibility to womankind everywhere to pull it back together.
Sniffling, she pushed his touch away to wipe her nose gracelessly. “But I swear, if you did something that causes you to be permanently…. maimed, or whatever, I won’t talk to you again. Besides which, you knocked my gun off the ledge when you were scrambling over me. That was one of my favorite guns.”
“Shooting him was an effective tactic. A very unexpected one against a demon. Fighting two magic users, he never saw that coming. You weakened him enough to put the nail in his coffin.” Derek’s tone was admiring, pleasing her, even though she took pains not to show it.
“Well.” She shrugged. “It’s like I said. Magic doesn’t always work, but superior firepower has never failed me.”
“I might have to consider adding to my arsenal, then.”
“I might give you a discount, with the proper incentive.”
His chuckle eased her tension, but she wouldn’t be fooled any longer. She touched his face. “You need a healing ritual by a full coven. And you need it now. Do you think you have one more transport in you? I’d do it, but that’s a sorcerer trick, not a witch one. At least, not one I know. Yet.”
“Trick?” He gave her an offended look. “I’ ll—”
“Please.” She gripped his shoulder. “I’m worried, Derek. You don’t look good.”
He squeezed her leg. “Don’t get all worried, girl. I’ve been worse off than this plenty of times. Hold on to me. I’ll take us right to the circle. You can go get Linda and her ladies. Just don’t let Theo trample and slobber all over me while I’m on my back, helpless as a turned turtle.”
“You sure you have the strength to do this?” She stretched out at his side to put both her arms around him, trying not to hang on to anything that might be hurting. “I could call Raina and Ramona.”
“Be at Raina’s mercy? Not in this lifetime.” He snorted. “Besides, it’s no big deal. If I don’t have the strength to transport us, we’ll end up in a million intertwined atoms, scattered across the universe. Kind of romantic, don’t you think?”
“Derek, you ass—”
The world disappeared.
Chapter 21
THE HEALING RITUAL DID HELP HIM. HE INSISTED ON walking out of the circle, but the fact he allowed her to hold him up on one side and the sturdy Christine on the other told her he needed some recuperation time. A shower would have to wait. She put him in her bed in the guesthouse, pulled off his boots. By the time she’d done that, he was already out, slumped back on the bed. He was wearing only jeans, because of course that and the boots were the only things he’d taken the time to yank on before he went to the cave to protect Rose from Asmodeus.
Christine helped her get the rest of the clothes off in a fussy, no-nonsense manner that would have told Ruby she was a nurse, even if her taking a quick check of his vitals now didn’t do so. “He’s all right,” the older woman said reassuringly, with an understanding look at the hand Ruby kept on him, as if he’d disappear if she stopped touching him. “Just worn-out, poor man. Let him rest; keep him company. I think that’s what he needs. And get some rest yourself.”
While the more cognitive levels of her brain were completely tapped out, physically she actually felt better than she’d felt in months. She hadn’t realized the sapping energy of that Darkness within her, but she knew it was not only that. She’d made some important decisions. About herself, Rose and Derek. Though there were sorrow and regret, she knew whatever direction she chose from here would be better.