“That’s exactly what I mean,” Rachel said in agreement. “I was happy when Swanny joined them.”
“Oh me too,” Shea said in a rush. “My heart just aches for him. He’s so…alone. If you only knew what he and Nathan endured…”
Her voice trailed off and her features went bleak. Rachel reached over to squeeze her hand. Shea had gone through a lot to help Nathan and Swanny escape after months of them being tortured by the enemy. She more than anyone knew precisely what the two men had suffered. She knew because she’d suffered along with them and for them.
“Mama Kelly will work him over,” Sophie said with a chuckle. “Do you see how he is around her? It’s so cute. He’s completely bemused by her. She pats him and calls him her baby, and I swear the big man just melts in a puddle at her feet.”
Everyone laughed and warmth filled Rachel’s heart. Life was good. The very best. She was surrounded by people who loved her and whom she loved with all her heart.
There wasn’t a single Kelly by birth or marriage who wouldn’t do anything he or she could to help another family member. She thought briefly of Jennifer from her class and how broken up the little girl was over her family deteriorating.
She swallowed the knot in her throat. But by the grace of God go I.
It had been her. Only she’d gotten a second chance. Redemption.
“Do you think P.J. will come back?” Sarah asked in a quiet voice. “I’m so worried about her.”
The others fell silent.
P.J. had been instrumental in each of their lives. She’d gone on the mission to rescue Rachel from Colombia. She’d been there when Sophie had traded herself for Marlene Kelly and gone back to her madman of a father. She had been there when Sarah’s brother had died taking a bullet meant for Sarah. And she’d been instrumental in reuniting Shea with Nathan when Shea had been abducted by the people pursuing Shea and her sister, Grace. For that matter, she’d been there covering the women’s husbands when Grace had surrendered herself in order to prevent members of KGI from dying.
P.J. was a fixture of KGI. She was always there, protecting their husbands when they put their lives on the line. Rachel would never fully be able to express her gratitude to the other woman. There simply weren’t adequate words.
She just hoped she had the opportunity to try one day. P.J. had fell off the map months earlier and her team was mourning their loss. They weren’t the same without her.
“I worry about her too,” Sophie said softly.
“She’ll be back,” Shea said confidently, though her voice lacked conviction. “She’s tough and she’s a fighter. I don’t see her wimping out. She just needs time.”
Everyone nodded at that. It was a concept they were all familiar with. Time healed all wounds. Time and…love.
Sarah checked her watch and winced regretfully. “We better wrap this up soon. I know the guys have to be up early in the morning for training drills.”
“I have to be up early for work,” Rachel said in a rueful tone. She sighed. “That sounds so nice to say again.”
“Are you loving it?” Sarah asked.
“I really am,” Rachel replied. “I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I went back that first day. I love teaching. It’s a part of who I am, and I’m tired of being a different person.”
“Good for you,” Sophie said, reaching across to squeeze her hand. “We’re all so proud of you, Rachel. You’re such an example. I’m so glad my daughter has you to look up to.”
Rachel’s mouth dropped open in astonishment, and she looked at the other women like they’d lost their minds. Then she laughed because she simply couldn’t help it.
“Don’t laugh,” Sarah said in her quiet voice. “We’re all aware of your story. What you endured. How you never gave up. And how resilient you’ve been. It takes a very strong woman to endure what you did and to not only survive but to triumph over such adversity.”
“Oh God, you guys, don’t make me cry,” Rachel choked out.
She dabbed furiously at her eyes to prevent the flow of any tears.
Laughter rounded the table, breaking the serious tone that had settled over the group. They paid their checks and then headed out to the truck.
As they drove back, Rachel’s hand went unconsciously to her belly, and she marveled that she was shielding two tiny lives deep in her womb.
She couldn’t wait to tell the rest of the family. Couldn’t wait to bask in the joy of the moment. It would be her moment in the sun after a long sojourn in the shadows.
Chapter 8
“Did you enjoy your evening out?” Ethan asked as he pulled her down against him on the couch.
She snuggled in his arms, enjoying the feel of his bare chest against her cheek.
She’d changed into another of the sexy little night outfits she knew drove him crazy, and he was wearing his boxers. She loved evenings like this when they just snuggled on the couch and watched television or even just talked about nothing at all.
“It was fun. It’s been awhile since we did anything together. Everyone’s been so busy, and Sarah and Garrett and Nathan and Shea were off on their honeymoons.”
“And we were moving,” he added.
“Yes, finally,” she said with a happy sigh.
He went still against her, his breathing soft and even, but he was tense, his muscles firm and unrelaxed. After a moment she pushed herself upward and cocked her head in a questioning manner.
“Is something wrong, Ethan?”
His brow furrowed a moment, and then he pushed up to his elbow so their faces were more level. He seemed hesitant to say what was on his mind.
“I get the impression you were eager to move,” he began.
She nodded.
“I mean I know you were excited about the new house. I guess I don’t understand…”
He drifted off and then closed his lips, almost as if he’d decided not to bring up whatever it was that was nagging him.
“What don’t you understand?” she prompted.
“I admitted that I was surprised you went with a design so dramatically different than our old house. It was almost as if you wanted nothing at all to be the same. And then you seemed so relieved when we moved out, and I’ve noticed that you’re happier since we started living here.”
She studied him a moment, hating the conversation she knew they were going to be forced to have. “That bothers you.”
She didn’t pose it as a question because it was obvious that it did bother him.
“Yeah, I guess it does,” he admitted. Then he shook his head. “It’s stupid of me. I’m just glad you’re happy. I want you to be happy.”
“I am,” she said gently.
“But you weren’t happy at the old house.”
Slowly she shook her head, knowing she couldn’t lie to him. She wouldn’t lie to him, not even to spare his feelings.
“Why?” he asked, his voice cracking with that one word.
She pushed herself upward until she’d repositioned herself so that she sat opposite him with her knees bent against his chest and her hip firmly nestled into his groin.
“You have to understand what it was like for me,” she said in a low voice. “Regaining memories at random times. And each time something came back to me, it was fresh and vibrant in my mind. As though it had just happened instead of years before. Not all of them were happy memories.”
She glanced helplessly up at him, knowing there was no way to make it any easier for him to hear.
He flinched but maintained her gaze, as if he were determined to pay his penance and not back away from the reminder of the things he’d said and done.
“Some of the worst moments of my life happened in that house,” she said, an ache in her voice. “I just felt that if we were ever truly going to have a fresh start, that we had to begin with a completely clean slate. And we have that now. A brand new home just in time for the precious babies we’ll have. A place where we can start over and make new memories to replace the painful ones.”
Moisture glimmered in Ethan’s eyes before it was blinked away. Then he pulled her down, his hand cupping the back of her neck. Their foreheads touched and then their mouths.
“I love you,” he said, his voice clogged with regret and so much pain.
“I love you too,” she whispered back.
“This house will hold only happy memories for you,” he vowed. “For you and me and the babies. We’ll start right.”
She smiled. “Yeah, we will.”
“We haven’t yet christened the new bedroom,” he said, his voice husky and laced with suggestion.
“Mmm, however did we miss out on that?”
“It’s an error I have to correct immediately.”
“I agree.”
He sat up and then scooted down the couch so he could get up without sending her sprawling. Then he simply reached down and plucked her from the sofa.
She landed gently against his chest, his arms firmly around her. Protective. And so loving.
He carried her into the bedroom and laid her out on the bed, staring down at her with sinful promise in his eyes.
His hands skittered up her thighs, and he slid his fingers underneath the waistband of the satin shorts. As he began to slowly pull them down, his eyes darkened, and he stared accusingly at her.
“No underwear? You intended to seduce me all along.”
She gave him an exaggerated innocent look, widening her eyes as she stared up at him. “Maaaaybe.”
He chuckled and then lowered his mouth to the soft juncture of her legs, pressing a kiss to the vee. She shivered and closed her eyes as chill bumps raced each other over her belly and to her breasts.
As he nuzzled deeper into the soft flesh between her legs, his hands wandered upward, sliding the top up over her breasts. Just as his fingers found her painfully erect nipples, his tongue swiped over her clitoris sending another spasm of bone-melting pleasure through her body.
Her palm glided through his hair as her fingers flexed and curled against his head. It was an erotic image, her guiding and directing him, holding him there so his tongue hit just the right places.
She moaned softly and arched into him as she reached for the pleasure he offered.
He lifted his head and then moved up her body to remove the top completely. After he’d tossed it away, he lowered his head to her belly. Framing her waist in his big hands, he bestowed the most tender of kisses right over her womb where their children were nestled.
“Your mama and your daddy can’t wait to meet you,” he whispered against her skin.
“Ethan, I need you,” she pleaded, her heart so full of love she was near to bursting. “Make love to me, please. I don’t want to wait. I need you inside me.”
He didn’t move right away. Instead he pressed a trail of kisses up her midline before moving to her breast. He licked a trail around one puckered nipple and then sucked it into his mouth.
He was exquisitely gentle. He seemed to know just how tender her breasts were as a result of pregnancy. The slightest manipulation had her gasping for breath and her senses screaming for mercy.
His dark head moved to the other nipple, and he lazily traced a similar line around the hard peak before tucking it in his mouth to suckle.
In turns he gave each breast careful tugs with his mouth, increasing her pleasure and weaving delicious tension into her body. She coiled tighter and tighter as his hand slid between her legs to work its magic against her damp, swollen flesh.
“Inside me,” she gasped out. “Ethan, please.”
She was desperate for that connection. For them to be joined in the most intimate way two people could be joined. She wanted to feel his big body hovered protectively over hers. To feel him driving in and out as she stretched to accommodate him.
Her eyes closed as he rotated over her, his leg moving aggressively over hers as he prepared to mount her.
Oh but she loved how small and delicate she felt underneath his solidly muscled body. The body of a warrior. Lean and hard. No spare flesh anywhere. There was power in his every movement. It was why he always took such care with her. It would be so easy to hurt her with his strength.
“I want you with me,” he said in a hoarse, needy voice.
She slid her hands up his arms to his broad shoulders where she let her fingernails dig in, marking him.
“I’m always with you, Ethan,” she said softly.
He closed his eyes and groaned as he positioned himself at her opening. She could see the strain in his jaw. Knew how hard he was working to hold himself back.
Then he pushed inward, sliding into her, stretching her and forcing her to accommodate his width.
She sighed and melted back against the mattress. The sensation of fitting so snugly around him was blissful. There was no part of her that was untouched by his possession.
He flexed himself upward to push her legs higher. It forced her to take all of him, angled so he could slide all the way. His hips met the backs of her legs then pressed firmer still as he pushed even harder.