Turning to Madison, I asked, “All good in paradise?”
“As far as I know, yes. But that looks pretty intense, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe Harlow’s finally worked out that Scott’s not the perfect man she thought he was. Living with someone can do that.”
I frowned. “Are you and J okay?” I’d never stop worrying about her, and god fucking help him if he ever screwed her over.
“Yes, but you know what it’s like when you do day in, day out with someone. It’s hard sometimes. There are days I could kill J, and I’m sure he feels the same way.”
I thought about that, remembering back to when I lived with Ashley. She was the only woman I’d ever lived with. “Ashley used to hate the way I cooked.” It was out before I had time to even filter it, and Madison was straight on it.
Her eyes widened in surprise. I never spoke about Ashley. “Why?” she asked softly.
I took a deep breath. This was the last thing I wanted to be discussing this morning. “She said I made too much of a mess, and she would have preferred I washed up as I went.”
She listened but didn’t say anything, and then she reminded me of one of the reasons I loved her; she let it go. Turning her attention back to Scott, she asked, “Have you spoken to him lately?”
“No.”
“Will you?” Her question was short, but her eyes held all the words she hadn’t spoken. She was worried about him.
I nodded slowly, hesitant to commit but wanting to put her mind at ease. “Yeah, I’ll touch base with him, babe.”
Her chest rose on a sigh, and some of the worry eased out of her expression. “Thank you.”
“J doesn’t tell me much about what’s going on, and Scott’s never around to talk to, so I don’t really know what’s happening. I hate what Griff’s done to the club; to Scott and the boys. And I hate not knowing what they’re going through.”
I shifted forward slightly in my seat so I could bring my gaze closer to hers. “When a friend betrays you like that, it’s not something you ever recover from. Not for a long time, anyway. And I know women like to talk about that shit over and fucking over, but a man doesn’t want to rehash the betrayal, babe. I doubt you’ll get J talking about it anytime soon, at least not with the kind of details you’re looking for, so I suggest you let it go and just be there for him.” I said what I had to say and then settled back in my seat, hoping she’d take it in.
“Why don’t you have a woman?” she asked, throwing me with the sudden change in direction.
“I had a woman.” My shoulders tensed as I answered her.
“Yeah, but why don’t you date now? You give me all this advice about men and women, and you seem to know your shit, so any woman you date is going to be lucky.” Her voice softened. “Ashley was awhile ago, Blade. Don’t you think it’s time for you to move on?”
“Are we talking dating or are we talking fucking? ‘Cause I’ve got one of those covered, and I’m not interested in the other.” My voice had hardened, and I couldn’t control that as much as I may have wanted to.
“I worry about you,” she said, concern clear in her tone.
“Don’t worry about me. I can look out for myself; been doing it my whole fucking life.”
“I know you have, but you’ve got me in your life now, and it’s my job as your sister to worry and make sure you’re okay. I think you should reconsider the dating thing.”
Keeping myself under control around Madison was something I worked hard at. I didn’t bother with anyone else, except my mother. However, she was pushing me today, and I feared I was about to snap. My tone was hard and firm when I said, “Madison, it’s not going to happen.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but I silenced her with a glare. After a moment, she said, “Okay, I’ll let it be for now, but I’ll revisit this at some point. Someone’s gotta push you and I know you don’t have anyone else who is game, so it looks like it has to be me.”
At that moment, Harlow came over with our coffees and pancakes. I looked up at her. “Thank you.”
She smiled. “Anytime.”
I watched as she made her way back to where Scott was waiting for her. He looked our way and nodded at me before giving his attention back to Harlow.
Madison drew me back to our conversation. “Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes, and I have no doubt you’ll do what you said, but babe, you need to know Ashley was everything to me, and I’ve never met a woman since who even came close.”
“But how are you going to know if you’re so closed off to it?”
“I’ll know. Trust me, when a woman has what Ashley had, I’ll fucking know.”
She took that in, and finally acknowledged what I’d said. “She must have been pretty special.”
Memories flooded my mind and pierced my heart. Fuck, they still managed to do that even now, and I feared they always would. “She was.” I took a moment to get the words out. “She was the kindest, gentlest woman I’ve ever met who had a heart of gold. She accepted me and accepted what I did, but challenged me to do better. She dragged me out of that shit, and set me on a new path. If it wasn’t for her, I’d still be in deep.”