Della
Blaire had called and asked me to have lunch with her that day. I hadn't spoken to her since the incident with Angelina except for the few times I'd seen her with Rush around the club. It was odd because I felt like we had a bond now that we'd faced down Angelina together. She'd been my hero that night. She made me want to be tough. I wasn't tough and I wanted to be so bad.
I walked out of Woods's old office, which he'd moved me into and told me to decorate any way I wanted. Blaire was headed toward me.
"You even have an office now," Blaire said, smiling brightly. I had to admit I loved having an office. Specifically this office. I had many good memories there. I didn't intend to change anything about it.
"Yes, I feel very official," I replied.
"Good. I'm glad Woods has you. You're perfect for him."
I didn't agree with her. He could have done better---so much better---but I was working toward being good enough. Strong enough. Tough enough.
"Ready for lunch?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.
"I'm starving. Nate isn't sleeping as much as he used to. He keeps me busy but it's wonderful. Downside is, I don't have a lot of time to eat. When Rush is home he helps out a ton and makes sure I have time to eat. Anyway, I'm ready for a baby-free meal."
Nate was Rush and Blaire's baby boy. He was an adorable mixture of the two of them. I didn't normally think guys with piercings and that rough rock star look were attractive, but Rush Finlay holding a baby in his arms was very nice to look at.
"Is Rush with Nate now?" I asked as we walked to the dining room.
"Yes. They're going fishing, which means Nate is going to sit on a blanket and eat sand, if he can get to the edge of the blanket, and Rush is going to fish for about five minutes before realizing he can't fish and watch Nate at the same time. Then he'll stop fishing and they'll sit at the edge of the water and let their feet get wet."
The happiness in Blaire's voice was unmistakable. Rush Finlay made her happy. She made him happy. That was what I had with Woods but it was different. Rush could leave her alone with their baby and not worry about her zoning out and getting lost in her head. He could love her and not worry that his baby would inherit her mental illness. Their love was easy. It was the kind that would go the distance. What Woods and I had wasn't.
Every time I saw Rush holding his baby, I wanted that for Woods. The proud look in his eyes and joy on his face. I couldn't give him that.
"You okay?" Blaire's voice broke into my thoughts and I forced a smile.
"I'm sorry. Work on the brain. I promise to shut it off and be a good lunch date," I assured her.
"As long as it's work that's causing that distressed look on your face," Blaire replied, sounding like she didn't believe me.
I hadn't been brave enough to talk to my best friend, Braden, about this. She loved me fiercely and thought I could do no wrong. She also thought I could be a mother and stable wife. She lived in a fairy tale that I didn't allow myself to step into. Would Blaire be the same way, or would she see my side and understand my fears?
The hostess snapped to attention when she saw me and led us to Woods's table. He had told the staff in the dining room that his table should be available at my convenience.
"Oh, we get the good table," Blaire said, grinning, as we sat down. "I guess you're the boss now, too."
"Woods made a big deal out of them always seating me here." I felt myself blush and Blaire laughed.
"That's sweet," she said.
I wasn't sure how to respond to that. It was sweet. Woods was always sweet. He was impossible to get mad at. Even when he deserved it. Like when he made the new server, Ken, almost pee his pants for talking to me.