“Hey, hey,” I said. “Save some for yourself.”
“He’s so hungry,” she said. “He can’t even make that little pathetic mewling sound he usually does when he wants food.”
“And that extra-small T-shirt is still too big on you. Finish your sandwich, and he can have my crusts.”
She reluctantly handed him over, and I swore Hopper glared at me for depriving him of her attention. I loved the little guy too, but there was no way he was getting preferential treatment over Sydney. She ate the rest of her sandwich under my watchful eye but wouldn’t touch any of the assorted candy bars I’d bought, no matter my urging. I honestly would’ve liked to have seen her eat them all but knew better than to point out how much she needed sugar and fat.
Hopper fell asleep after that, and I thought Sydney would too. Instead, she invited me to the bedroom and drew me on to the bed with her. “You sure you don’t need some rest?” I asked.
She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I need you.”
Our lips met in our first real kiss since she’d been taken away. It set me aflame, reminding me just how agonizingly much I’d missed her. I’d meant what I told her: It didn’t matter how thin she’d become. She was still the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and there was no one else I wanted more. Not only that, there was no one else whose presence I felt more right in. Even in the midst of our escape from Death Valley and getting situated in these uncertain conditions, there was a comfortable certainty that just in being with her, there was nothing that couldn’t be accomplished.
I trailed kisses down her neck and mentally took back what I’d said about the bath gel being cheap. The jasmine mingled with her own natural scent was intoxicating, far better than any perfume I’d ever gotten her. Her legs felt like silk under my touch, and I was astonished at how quickly my desire ramped up—even more astonished at how hers did too. I worried it might be too much too soon, but when I tried to dissuade her again, she only pulled me closer.
“You don’t understand,” she murmured, running one of her hands through my hair. “You don’t understand how much I need this, how much I need you and to remember I’m alive and in love. They try to take that from you in that place, but I never forgot. I never forgot you, Adrian, and now that you’re here, I . . .”
She couldn’t finish, and she didn’t have to. I knew exactly what she meant. We kissed again, the kind of kiss that bound us in way that was so much more than physical. I was trying to pull her shirt off when she suddenly paused and asked breathlessly, “You did get something at the store, right?”
My brain was too addled with lust and thoughts of her to fully process what she was saying. “Huh? I got lots of things.”
“Protection,” she said meaningfully. “Wasn’t there a drugstore across the street? Bigger selection there than the other place.”
“I—oh. That kind of thing. Uh, no, I didn’t. I guess I forgot.”
Before Sydney had been taken, she’d been on the pill, and I’d never really had to think about birth control. I think she preferred it that way, not really trusting anyone but herself to handle such important matters. I sighed.
“Don’t I get points for being more concerned about feeding you and dressing you in bright colors than I was about getting you into bed?”
She placed a light kiss against my lips and smiled. “You get lots of points. But unfortunately, you don’t get this.”
I leaned over her and brushed golden strands of hair from her face. “Do you know how torn I am right now? I mean, I’m disappointed, obviously . . . but at the same time, I’m kind of in love with you even more for still being your meticulously careful self, in spite of everything that’s happened.”
“Really?” She shifted so that I could rest my head on her chest. “My meticulous and careful nature is what you love?”
“There’re so many things to love, Sage. Who can keep track?”
As frustrating as it was to be unexpectedly denied that physical consummation, I still found myself basking in that earlier sense of bliss that just came from being near her. Did I want sex? Sure, but I wanted her more—her presence, her laughter, her spirit. The churning hormones in my body soon quieted, and I found more than enough ecstasy just lying in her arms. And when she dozed off soon thereafter, I had a feeling my oversight in not going to the drugstore might have been for the best, no matter what she’d said. Getting her back to full health was most important right now, and I was pretty sure rest and candy bars were the best way to help.
As for me, I was too restless. Part of it was just the day’s excitement and being with her. Another part was that it was still earlier than I was used to going to sleep. I loved being entwined with her, but after a while, I cautiously slipped out of bed and tucked the covers around her. I studied her fondly a few moments before turning off the lights and creeping out to the living room, careful to close the door behind me so as not to disturb her.
I settled onto the couch with a candy bar and watched TV at a low volume, needing to settle my spinning mind. I knew Sydney would undoubtedly have all sorts of plans and deductions that were better than mine, but it was hard not to think about the future. Where could we go? Was there a safe place? And whether it was with Marcus or on our own, what exactly was it we were going to do with our lives? So much energy had just been spent on being together—itself a daunting task—that we’d hardly ever paused to discuss what we’d truly do. One of our outlandish escape plans? College for her? An obscure life in the middle of nowhere? Fighting for the freedom of Moroi and ex-Alchemists?