“It never rains but it pours,” booms Lorna lugubriously. “Run off with a fancy woman, has he?”
Jim glances at me, then leans toward the women, lowering his voice.
“Apparently he’s gone to Cyprus with a man called Nathan.”
“Oh.” Edie’s eyes open very wide. “Oh, I see.”
“What are you going to do, Becky?” says Kelly, biting her lip.
Go home, flashes through my mind. Give up.
But I keep seeing Jess’s pale face in my mind, and feeling a little stab in my heart. I know just what it’s like to be bitched about. I’ve known enough horrible bitches in my time. An image comes to me of Alicia Bitch Long-legs, the meanest, snidest girl I ever knew.
I can’t bear it if my own sister thinks I’m like her.
“I have to apologize to Jess,” I say, looking up. “I know we’ll never be friends. But I can’t go home with her thinking the worst of me.” I take a sip of scalding tea, then look up. “Is there anywhere I can stay around here?”
“Edie runs a bed-and-breakfast,” says Jim. “Got any rooms free, Edie?”
Edie reaches into her huge brown bag, then brings out a notebook and consults it.
“You’re in luck,” she says, looking up. “I’ve one deluxe single left.”
“Edie’ll take good care of you,” Jim says, so kindly that I feel ridiculous tears welling up again.
“Could I take it for tonight, please?” I say, wiping my eyes. “Thank you very much.” I take another sip of tea, then notice my mug. It’s blue pottery with Scully handpainted on it in white. “This is nice,” I say with a gulp. “Do you sell them?”
“On the rack at the back,” says Jim, looking at me with amusement.
“Could I have two? I mean, four?” I reach for a tissue and blow my nose. “And I just want to say… thank you. You’re all being so nice.”
The bed-and-breakfast is a large white house directly across the green. Jim carries my suitcases and I carry my hatbox and my carrier bag full of souvenirs, and Edie follows behind me, giving me a list of rules I have to keep.
“No gentleman visitors after eleven… no parties of more than three people in the room… no abuse of solvents or aerosol cans… payment in advance, cash or check accepted, much obliged,” she concludes as we reach the lit-up door.
“All right from here, Becky?” says Jim, putting my cases down.
“I’ll be fine. And thank you so much,” I say, feeling so grateful, I half-want to give him a kiss. But I don’t quite dare to — so I just watch as he walks off across the grass again.
“Much obliged,” repeats Edie meaningfully.
“Oh!” I say, realizing she means she wants to be paid. “Absolutely!”
I scrabble inside my bag for my purse, and my fingers brush against my mobile phone. From force of habit I pull it out and peer at the display. But there’s still no signal.
“You can use the pay phone in the hall if there’s anyone you want to call,” says Edie. “We have a pull-down privacy hood.”
Is there anyone I want to call?
With a twinge I think of Luke in Cyprus, still furious with me; Mum and Dad engrossed in a therapy workshop on their cruise; and Suze, picnicking on some picturesque sun-dappled lawn with Lulu and all their children in cute overalls.
“No. It’s OK,” I say, trying to smile. “I haven’t got anyone to call. To be honest… no one will have even noticed I’ve gone.”
5 jun 03 16:54
to Becky
from Suze
Bex. Sorry I missed u. Why aren’t u answering the phone? Had disastrous day at picnic. We all got stung by wasps. I miss u. Am coming to London to visit. Call me.
Suzexxxx
6 jun 03 10:02
to Becky
from Suze
Hi, Bex, I’m here. Where RU? Please call!!!!
Suzex
6 jun 03 2:36
to Becky
from Suze
Bex. Where RU????????????????
Suzexxxx
Eighteen
I DON’T SLEEP well.
In fact, I’m not sure I sleep at all. I seem to have spent the whole night staring at the uneven ceiling of Edie’s B&B, my mind going round and round in circles. Except I must have slept for a bit, because when I wake up in the morning my head is full of a terrible dream where I turned into Alicia Bitch Long-legs. I was wearing a pink suit and laughing with a horrible sneer and Jess was looking all pale and crushed. In fact, now that I think about it, Jess looked a bit like me.
Just the thought of it makes me queasy. I have to do something about this.
I’m not hungry, but Edie has cooked a full English breakfast and doesn’t seem impressed when I say I normally have just a piece of toast. So I nibble at some bacon and eggs and pretend to have a go at the black pudding, all the while avoiding the attempts at conversation by a kindly German couple on holiday. After a final sip of coffee I leave to find Jess.