"Yes, that."
"Well, it was true. I have never linked with any other woman."
"I'm not talking about linking, whatever that is. I'm talking about sex, damn it. Pure, simple, straightforward sex. You were no virgin, Gryph Chassyn," Sariana accused.
"I'm supposed to apologize for that, too?"
She glared at his profile, uncertain of his mood. "Are you laughing at me?" He shook his head quickly. "No. I swear I'm not. I'm just realizing that there was a slight
communication problem that night and you got the wrong impression. For that I apologize." He made a sweeping gesture with one hand. "Hell, I apologize for everything about the clumsy way I handled our first night together. If anything, my bungling should prove just how inexperienced I was. I wasn't any more prepared for the crossover effect than you were."
"What is all this nonsense about a crossover effect?" Sariana demanded. "It's what happens when a Shield and his Shieldmate make love."
Sariana's eyes widened as she remembered the explosion of pain and passion and the way she had
seemed to be absorbing everything he had been feeling that night as well as her own jumble of sensations.
"You're telling me I wasn't just hallucinating because of all that punch I drank?" she asked weakly. "You weren't hallucinating," he assured her softly. "We were linked and you were picking up on my
feelings as well as your own. Unfortunately, I wasn't in great shape that night. My shoulder hurt, I was running a fever and I was still recovering from the effects of the medic's anesthetic. To finish it off, there was the unavoidable discomfort that comes from tuning into the prisma the first time. Poor Sariana. You had enough new sensations of your own to deal with that night. I'm sorry you got hit with everything I was feeling and the prisma, too."
Sariana stared at him in openmouthed amazement. "You mean you go through that every time you make love to a woman?"
"Of course not," he said impatiently. "Haven't you been listening? It's only like that between a Shield and his Shieldmate. It doesn't happen with other women. And from what I've been told, it isn't supposed to be that bad between a Shield and his lady, either. What happened between us was very strong, Sariana. I'm not sure I understand all of it even though I've thought about it a lot since then. But I'm sure we can control it."
"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you have been to bed with other women but it's never been like that with any of them?"
He smiled slightly. "I told you, you're my Shieldmate. There's been no other for me. I've never been married before. A Shield can't link with just any female, you see. Given several thousand women to choose from, a man would be very lucky to find even a few who had the potential of linking with a Shield. And even then there are likely to be other complications."
"Such as?" She couldn't believe she was hearing this, but Sariana couldn't bring herself to believe Gryph was lying, either. One thing was certain: He believed what he was saying. Westerners loved legends.
"Such as the fact that the woman in question might not be interested in going to bed with a Shield. Or she might be past childbearing age. Or she might already be married to a man from her own class in which case the Pact forbids the Shield from approaching her." Gryph's smile twisted wryly. "The First Generation colonists drove a shrewd bargain."
Sariana seized on the one point that applied to her. "You mean if the woman doesn't want to marry the Shield she's free to say no?"
"You weren't listening. As usual. For a bright woman, Sariana, you have an odd tendency to hear only what you want to hear. I said the woman is free to choose whether or not she wants to go to bed with the Shield. Once she's been to bed with him, she's married. Unless, for some reason, the link didn't work." His eyes grew very brilliant. "But there is no question of that in our case. We are linked, Sariana. One of these days you'll admit it to yourself and to me."
She instinctively took a step backward, even though he hadn't moved. "Why is it so important to… to link with a woman? You admitted you don't need to be linked in order to have a sexual relationship."
"There are two reasons why a Shield searches very hard for a woman with whom he can link," Gryph said evenly. "The first is that he cannot father a child with any woman except a true Shieldmate. All other unions are sterile. And even with a Shieldmate, he can only produce sons. No Shield has ever fathered a daughter. The future of every Shield clan is dependent on the sons finding mates among the descendants of the colonists of The Serendipity."
Sariana stared at him. "You're telling me the legend is true? Your class was not among those on board
The Serendipityr
Gryph lifted his head proudly. "My people were conveniently on hand when the lightstorm took The Serendipity. Without my ancestors, everyone on that ship would have died. We saved them. We saved them a second time on the ground. Someday I'll tell you the whole story. The important point is that the colonists repaid the Shields by negotiating the Pact. It binds us into their social system."
"This is all just a legend. A wild tale concocted by the people of the western provinces. I know it is." "You know I'm not lying to you, Sariana. Look at me. I have never lied to you." For a moment she was trapped by the truth in his eyes. She struggled to resist and became frantic
when she could not. Without a word she spun around, seeking escape.
"Sariana."
She stopped but did not turn back to face him. She did not dare.
"You haven't heard the second reason why a Shield will go to any length to find a mate," Gryph said. "What's the second reason?" But silently she was thinking that she did not want to hear it. The answer
was already in her head. It had appeared there as if by magic.
"The second reason is that if he does not find a mate, a Shield will face a kind of loneliness no one else can even begin to comprehend. He'll know he has missed the special communication that comes through linking with a woman. He'll face it all the days of his life and when that life is over he will also face the knowledge that he has left nothing of himself to the future. Now do you see why I can't let you go, Sariana?"
Chapter 10
SEVERAL hours later Sariana lay alone in the large ship's bunk. She was wide awake and very thoughtful. It had been a long while since she had shared an early dinner with Gryph and the handful of other passengers on board the windrigger. She had retired to the cabin prepared to stage a determined battle when her so-called husband came to claim his marital rights.