He catches her and they both laugh. “You’re really on one today, aren’t you? But that’s okay. I’m having fun.”
She smiles brightly. “You’re my best friend in the whole-wide world, Alex.”
When I open my eyes, my feet are planted back on the podium in front of the empty throne with Nicholas at my side. The sky above looks a little darker and the blades of glass a little sharper, like the scenery has slightly altered. Or maybe it’s my perception? Alex is sitting at the foot of the throne and a thousand emotions rush across his face at once as he rises to his feet. “Are you okay?” he asks me.
I look into his eyes that match the little boy’s eyes in the vision. You’ve known all along. “I’m fine.”
Nicholas frees my hand from his sweaty grip, saunters up next to the throne, and takes a seat in it. “Everything looks smaller from up here.”
Alex rolls his eyes. “That’s just what the Foreseers’ need—someone like you in charge.”
Nicholas props his foot up on his knee, grips onto the armrest and raises his chin. “I think it would be one of the smartest moves they could ever make.”
“I’m ready to go,” I interrupt them. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”
Nicholas shakes his head as he stands up from the throne. “And if I was in charge, I would have never let you go.” He steps down beside me. “Because you have a lot of power, Gemma. You just don’t know it yet.”
I don’t know a lot of things yet, but I have a feeling I will, soon enough, because the truth is catching up with me, like a rushing wave ready to crash onto the idle sand of a beach.
Chapter 20
I have it all planned out. I’ll make Alex tell me what’s going on—why I can suddenly remember things about my past. Why we once spent a day running around in a field, playing. Why we knew each other so well, but now we don’t. But most importantly I need to find out what he knows about that day. The day my mother was killed.
As soon as we land in the cabin, he goes into protective mode. Suddenly, he’s all about me and making sure I’m okay. He gives me very little time to react.
“What did he do to you?” He places his hands on my shoulders and maneuvers me down the hall toward the couch in the living room.
I stare into his eyes and I mean really stare, past the spark, the power and the undying lust that always floods my body whenever I look at him. The scary part is that all I can see in his eyes is me.
He slows down when we reach the coffee table and cups my cheek as he watches me meticulously. “Did Nicholas… He didn’t try anything, did he?”
I cringe at the revolting recollection of the kiss and the grope. “Besides being a pervert? No. But I’m really wondering how you know the guy… faerie… Foreseer or whatever the hell he is.”
Alex shrugs and his hand leaves my face and falls to his side. “Sometimes the Keepers will get together with the Foreseers and he would come over.”
“To the Keepers’ castle.”
“You know about that?” His eyebrow crooks.
I nod. “Yeah, I saw it in the vision, remember?”
He shifts his weight and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Were you able to see more this time?”
“You really want to know?” My eyes narrow as I cross my arms and push past the wall of control between him and me. “I’m going to ask you some questions, and I want you to tell me the truth. I mean it this time. None of your bullshit, omitting the truth.
He claims my gaze, mimicking my assertiveness. “What’s your question?”
I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the worst possible answer because a question like this only ends with a bleeding heart. “Has my memory been tampered with?”
The grandfather clock in the corner ticks maddeningly loud in the background and the snow splatters at the windows. The beams above our heads creak and somewhere in the house a faucet is dripping.
He stares at me indifferently and unmoving, as if time has immobilized and I know that it’s true.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I cry as my heart splits open and bleeds out. “Just answer me.”
He flinches at the sound of my voice and time seems to move again. “Why do you think that?”
My voice shakes uncontrollably as I close the distance between us so he can see me bleeding from the inside. “Because the little girl in the vision was me.”
His eyes widen and he looks genuinely shocked. “It was you? How’s that even possible? I thought visions were of the future.”
“Nicholas said it happens sometimes,” I snap. “But don’t pretend like you didn’t already know that. The whole time in the car, when I was babbling my heart out about the woman drowning in the lake, you pretended you didn’t know what I was talking about.”
He shakes his head and his hands leave his pockets. He reaches for me, but then decides against it and pulls back. “I swear, I didn’t, Gemma. The first time you told me was the first time I ever heard a story like it.” He pauses, making sure to maintain my gaze. “But what I don’t know is why you think the little girl is you.”
“Because her eyes were violet.” The prickle stabs at the back of my neck and all my anger channels to him. I shove him, just to make myself feel better. To feel something that’s real. “And the woman in the lake…” I can’t finish because saying it out loud makes her death even more real.
He doesn’t stumble back, doesn’t flinch, and doesn’t move. He’s an indestructible statue that I wish I could break and crumble so he’d be broken like me. Then maybe he could understand and tell me how to take the pain away. “The woman in the lake was your mother.” He whispers to himself.
My mother is gone, to a world full of evil torture, where she’s either dead or insane, and I’m feeling like I’m in that world too.
“You really don’t remember?”
He shakes his head and his voice and eyes soften. “Gemma, I don’t even know what to say. I’m about as confused as you.” He’s quiet for a while, considering something, and then he lets out an uneven breath. “You think your memories been erased?”
I nod, gripping the edge of the coffee table and trying to breathe. I’ve lost all control. The prickle is stabbing at the back of my neck. I’m breaking apart, dying, and I wish it would all just end. “Do you remember when we were in the cabin and I was crying?”
“Yeah, I remember.” His voice is a whisper through the blood roaring in my ears.
“The reason I was crying is because I saw something… something that was kind of like a vision,” I say, going back to the peaceful place. “I was in this field and it was at night and there was a little girl and a woman there, too. They couldn’t see me and I couldn’t see their faces. I thought that I was dreaming, but it felt so real and familiar. Familiar as in a lost memory.” I stand up straight. “Familiar as in I was four-years-old when my mom died and I went to live with Marco and Sophia. Familiar as in I’d lived it before.”
“How did you find out you were four?” He doesn’t even try to deny it.
“Laylen told me,” I fume. “He told me a lot of things—truthful things. He isn’t a liar like you.”
He shakes his head and fury flashes in his eyes. Before I can react, he picks me up, lays me onto the couch and encloses his body over mine. He situates his elbows next to my head and presses his chest close to mine so my hands are caged.
“Get off me,” I complain. “I can’t breathe.”
“You need to hear me out.” Alex’s voice shakes as his emotions begin to flee from the box he usually keeps them in. “And listen to the whole story before you over-react.”
I continue to cry and it makes me feel weak. I need to stop crying. Stop crying! “Then, what did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything,” he assures me. “I just knew about it, which to you is probably equally as bad, but it had to be done.”
I sob silently as the possibilities of what happened swirl in my head. “Please, just tell me. I can’t take the dark anymore.”
“You remember the prophecy I told you about?” he asks quickly and I nod. “Well, I left out a few parts of the story.”
“Important parts, I’m guessing.”
“That’s usually the case when parts are left out.” He transfers his weight, giving me a little breathing room as he continues, “While Stephan was trying to figure out a way to keep the prophecy from happening, your mother disappeared—or, if what you say is correct, was thrown into the Underworld.” He pauses, staring down into my eyes, but he isn’t looking at me; he’s remembering. “You were extremely emotional… Crying all the time.”
“I had just lost my mom,” I snap and twist my body beneath him. “Of course I was emotional.”
“I’m not saying it was wrong. I’m just trying to explain why Stephan did what he did,” he says, breaking out of the memory. “A lot of Keepers are born with gifts, some more useful than others. The one Sophia has is called unus quisnam aufero animus, or one who removes the soul.”
The prickle taunts the back of my neck, embedding deeper into my skin. “You took my soul away!” Strength overcomes me and somehow, I manage to get my arms in between us to shove him off and he actually falls to the floor.
He’s stunned. I’m stunned. And, for a moment, we both remain frozen in place. Then I snap out of my trance and leap up from the couch. “This is worse than the star. At least that can be construed as adding life, but taking away my soul is like ripping away the very essence of my humanity. I’m nothing but a shell of a girl. There’s nothing inside me!” The room sways and my vision spots as the truth sinks into my skin like acid. I grasp onto the back of the sofa, gasping for air. “Holy shit! I’m not even a person… I’m not anything…”
Alex moves up behind me and places his hand on the small of my back. “Calm down, okay? That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Get—away—from—me,” I gasp between shallow breaths, jerking my shoulder upwards, trying to shrug his hand off my back. “Just leave me alone.”
“You need to listen to me,” he begs. “We didn’t take your soul away. It was something different—something less drastic.”
“Then, just say it,” I demand. “And stop tiptoeing around the details.”
“Come sit down with me and I will.” He smoothes his hand down my back.
“No.” I lower my body closer to the couch and cling onto it. Please let this be a dream. I want to wake up.
His arm wraps around my side. His hand slides under me and onto my stomach. Then he draws me back, gets a hand under my knees and scoops me up. He sits down, bringing me down with him, so I’m sideways on his lap and my legs are on the armrest. “I need to finish this, Gemma. You need to know—deserve to know.”