But then she couldn’t have imagined a man like Damien either.
She shifted gently, her fingertips grazing the mark that she knew was changed now, permanently. Interesting, to break the final tie with the Grigori this way. They would never accept her back now no matter what changed. Somehow, knowing that didn’t hurt her at all. They had never really accepted her anyway. None but Sam…
She purposely turned her thoughts away from her sire. He wouldn’t approve of this. Still, she was certain he’d eventually see that Damien was a good man. Not the best man, she thought with a smile, but a good one.
One of the many reasons she’d fallen in love with him.
Her smile faded as she turned that over in her mind. In love with him. She didn’t question it. His presence had become as necessary to her as breathing. But what about Damien? She doubted he’d done this lightly. Whatever else he was, Damien wasn’t reckless. What their bond signified to him, though, was a mystery.
He cared for her. She didn’t question that. But more than that might take some time… possibly a lot of time. Which she would have, if she could just get through the next few days.
Ariane sighed and rolled over onto her back, waking up only because she couldn’t shut her brain back off. Words drifted to her from Damien’s conversation somewhere down the hall. Hmm… stabbing… car… twenty minutes…
She opened her eyes, hoping she’d misheard.
He was leaving? Already?
Damien slipped back into the room, shutting the door behind him. Rather than head back to bed, he went for his suitcase, pulling several pieces of clothing out and arranging them in a pile on the floor.
She pushed up onto her elbows to watch him. He looked distant, distracted. Not a good sign, when he’d been perfectly fine before the phone call. When she realized he was utterly lost in his own thoughts, she finally broke the silence.
“I take it you’re not coming back to bed.”
Damien snapped his head up to look at her, and for a split second she could see the tension etched onto his face. But it vanished almost as quickly as it appeared, replaced by a casual smile.
“Ah, you’re awake. Yes, I’ve been called in. It’s just for a few days, kitten.” He straightened, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “Nothing important. I’ll be back before you know it. Mind if I use your bag? I hate to admit it, but mine’s a bit large for this.”
“No, go ahead,” she said, marveling at how quickly he could shift from worried to devil-may-care. The latter, though, was a well-practiced act. She knew it now. He didn’t like to share what was going on in that head of his. Sometimes that was probably a good thing, actually, but right now it was just frustrating.
She watched him take her things out of her duffel and stuff his in, then pull on a short-sleeved polo. His movements were as graceful as ever, but quick, efficient. She supposed he was always like this when he was heading out.
Her heart sank a little when she realized this wouldn’t be the last time. Not when he was dashing off so easily and leaving her here. She didn’t know what she’d thought… that maybe he’d want to take her with him when Drake’s call finally came? She felt foolish, and deflated.
“You are coming back,” she said, a half question that had him turning eyes on her that were very blue, even in the dark.
“Of course I’m coming back.” He zipped up the bag, tossed it to land by the door, and surprised her by leaping on top of her. She laughed helplessly as he pinned her hands on either side of her head and grinned down at her.
“Just try and keep me away. You can’t escape me now, you know. I’ve put my mark on you.” He brushed his fingers over her mark with a look of possession that made her shiver. “Be thankful I’m a busy man. I’m going to wear you out terribly when I’m around.”
Her smile remained, but faded. She was willing to accept that this was going to take some work, but “when I’m around” didn’t sound very promising.
“I can’t stay here forever, Damien. I mean, I’m sure everyone is very nice, but—”
“Ah, but that’s the fun,” Damien said, his eyes twinkling. “You can stay here, if you like. Though Chicago would be acceptable too. Vlad is careful about his territory, and you’ll need to be somewhere protected in case the Grigori send someone after you again.”
“Ah,” she said, beginning to get a picture of how he envisioned their relationship. “I suppose you’ll buy me a house,” she said, keeping her tone carefully neutral.
“I hope you’ll look while I’m away, kitten. Anything you like. I mean that. You’ve never really had a place of your own. Not one you chose. I want you to have a home you love.”
It was sweet. Misguided, but so sweet she didn’t know quite what to say. She knew immediately that he would spoil her incredibly if she let him, buying her a house, clothes, baubles, even a rack full of enormous and impractical swords if that’s what she really wanted. It was pure Damien. He would happily fill her life with everything she’d ever wanted… while denying her the only thing she really wanted.
Him.
Ariane looked up at him, so very handsome… and so hopeful. She wouldn’t crush him by saying no outright. He wouldn’t understand. She would have to show him what she wanted. What she cared about.
Except that right now, there wasn’t any time.
“What’s the matter, kitten?” he asked, touching her nose with his finger. “You’re not unhappy, are you?”
“No,” Ariane replied. “I just wish you weren’t leaving so quickly. That’s all.” With the hand he’d released, she reached up and pulled aside his collar, tracing the outline of the wings that now curved around his trio of cats. Protecting them. Not an interpretation Damien would probably accept right now, but she liked it. She didn’t think anyone had ever protected Damien.
She was happy to be the first. The only.
“Oh, you’ll be busy nursing your very large and forbidding friend, I’m sure,” Damien said, his voice softening. “The other one hasn’t even awakened yet. I wonder whether he will?”
“Sam thinks he might not,” Ariane said. She hesitated, knowing before the words left her mouth that Damien wasn’t going to react the way she’d been hoping. But she wouldn’t hide it from him. He wasn’t the only one with duties.
“Even if Lucan does wake up, he won’t be well enough to travel for a few days,” she said. “That’s why Sam has asked for my help.”
Damien went very still. “Define help.”
Briefly, Ariane explained what needed to be done, watching his expression darken with every word. When she’d finished, it took him a moment to collect himself.
“So you’re going to risk your life. Again. For these miserable bastards who didn’t want a thing to do with you for most of your existence.”
Ariane sighed. “It’s bigger than that. If we don’t do something, a lot more than just the Grigori are at risk. This is important.”
“Then someone else will do it.”
She frowned at him. “No. I will.”
“Why?” Damien said, a bite in his voice. “Out of some misguided sense of honor? Honor doesn’t mean a damned thing if you’re dead, Ariane. You shouldn’t be involved in this. And if Sam cared all that much about you, he wouldn’t be throwing you to the wolves!”
Damien sat up, his glare scorching. Ariane tried to ignore it, though she felt herself beginning to bristle. She’d been trapped in the desert for centuries, and yet somehow, she still had better relationship skills than Damien did. He made it hard to appreciate his concern for her when he was being a complete ass about it.
“Sam asked me because he trusts me,” Ariane said flatly. “Because I’m capable. I’m not sure whether to be insulted or amazed that you don’t seem to agree, given that you’ve seen me fight.”
Damien gave an exasperated growl. “This has nothing to do with that.”
Ariane rose to a sitting position, gathering the sheets protectively around her. If this was going to work between them, he was going to have to give up this archaic notion of becoming her protector. She didn’t want a protector; she wanted a partner.
And she could already see that he wasn’t in the mood to listen. Still, she was compelled to try.
“Damien, it has everything to do with that.”
“How the hell are you getting that? Just because you can fight doesn’t mean you should have to! You’ve done your bit. Let it go!”
Her jaw tightened. “Just because you can get paid for stealing and killing doesn’t mean you ought to. But you don’t hear me shouting at you not to go.”
“That’s not the same thing,” he snapped.
Ariane felt her long-suffering patience fraying. “Why, because there’s nothing in it for me? All my life, I’ve wanted to prove myself, and I’ve never been given the chance. I worked twice as hard as anyone else, and no one bothered to notice. I don’t care what the Grigori think of me anymore, Damien, but I do care about using what I have to make a difference where I can. This matters. It matters to me.” She paused. “Actually, I’d hoped you’d come with me.”
Damien cursed and stood, throwing up his hands. “Are you mad? Of all the bloody hills to die on, you choose this one. A potentially insane Grigori harboring a soul-eating demon. And you’d like to go up against him together, as though there’s much anybody can do about Sariel if he decides to fight. He’s huge. He’s ancient. He’s at least ten times as competent as that bastard who tried to take you out in Charlotte.” He shoved a hand through his hair, making it stand up in odd spikes. “Ariane, this is madness!”
She drew in a breath, barely keeping herself from shouting even though her throat hurt with the need to. That was what Damien wanted: a fight. It was easier for him that way. It was what he was used to. And it would give him an excellent excuse to storm off before he’d heard her out. That wasn’t going to happen. Even if this ruined everything she’d hoped for, he was going to listen to the truth.