“But it didn’t and it won’t. Now go out there and do what you have to do. Once he’s gone, we can figure out our next step.”
Hannah took a deep breath and nodded. We walked out of the bedroom and I stopped, frozen. Heath Andrews was standing in front of the open fridge. He glanced over toward us.
“I was looking for something to drink,” he said, pulling out a beer. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” Hannah said quickly, her voice almost hysterical. She started toward him, trying to smile. I couldn’t breathe—my chest felt tight. Had he seen what was in there?
If he had, I’d take the fall. I couldn’t let Hannah get in trouble for this. Trevor had lied his ass off back in Missoula, making me out to be the mastermind behind his crimes. If they came for us, I’d lie, too. I’d say the drugs were mine and make damned sure they believed me.
Going back to jail would be a small price to pay to keep the girls out of foster care.
Heath came back into the living room, taking a drink of his beer.
“I think I’ll head to bed—give you guys some privacy,” I said, catching Hannah’s eye and glancing toward the couch. Hopefully she’d get the hint and find some way to distract him.
Heath looked between us, his eyes speculative.
Fuck.
I really, really wanted to drop this one in Future Me’s lap, but for once that wasn’t going to cut it. Hannah and I were going to have to figure something out, and figure it out fast.
In the bedroom, Callie was sleeping soundly, her small thumb tucked into her mouth. She gave soft, snuffly snores. She’d worn herself out crying, poor baby. I’d do anything for her. Anything at all. We’d get her through this. I didn’t care what I had to do, who I had to hurt. She and the twins were all that mattered.
After about twenty minutes, I heard the front door open and then close again, followed by the sound of a car pulling away. Slipping out of the bedroom, I went to find Hannah standing with her back to the front door, as if trying to hold out the world.
“Tell me everything,” she said, her eyes haunted.
Two hours later we sat next to each other, leaning back against the couch. First I’d explained everything to her, and then we’d torn the trailer apart. In the process we’d collected another baggie of meth, some pot, three pipes, and fifty bucks in cash. Now Randy’s stash sat in front of us on the battered coffee table like an accusation.
“I did this,” Hannah said, rubbing her temples despairingly. “I did this to us.”
“No, Randy did it.”“I fell in love with him, though. And then I stayed with him, even when I started to suspect about the drugs. There were rumors. I just didn’t want to hear them, just like I didn’t want to hear about him cheating on me.”
“Well, at least you were alert enough to notice the rumors,” I told her, feeling utterly exhausted and wrung out. “I was oblivious with Trevor. I mean, I knew he was drinking a lot, but I honestly didn’t figure out the rest until the defense attorney told me.”
“It’s one thing to be stupid and screw yourself over, but to expose your kids? I’m a mother. I can’t afford mistakes like this, Mandy. What are we going to do? That is a shitload of drugs, and meth is poisonous. The girls could’ve died. How will we ever know if the place is safe again?”
I reached down, catching her hand and giving it a squeeze.
“It is what it is,” I said steadily. “So don’t waste time beating yourself up. We have to focus on the next step.”
“We need to leave town,” Hannah said abruptly.
“What? I thought maybe we could rent an apartment—”
“No,” she continued. “You don’t know Randy. In his mind, he owns these kids and he owns me. He won’t leave us alone. He’ll never leave us alone. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. Not if I have to worry about them finding poison in their bedroom. The girls will never be safe in Violetta.”
“What about Heath?” I asked, my voice low. “Maybe he could help you.”
She shook her head slowly. “Randy has rights, you know. And his family doesn’t have much money, but they’ve lived in this town for a hundred years. His parents may like me fine, but at the end of the day I’m just white trash who slept with their son. And Heath? Sure, he’s a nice guy… I’m not the kind of girl someone like him sticks with, though, and you know it. Neither of us are.”
She held my gaze steadily and I swallowed, because she was right. We weren’t the kind of girls who had happy endings. We were the kind of girls who worked shit jobs to support shit men, and when we got arrested, everyone talked about how they’d seen it coming.
“Okay. With the five hundred bucks Bone is holding onto for me, I have six hundred and twenty total. I won’t get another check until next week, but if I tell him it’s a family emergency, he might cash me out early. Sara can give us a ride to Cranston and we can catch a bus from there. We’re strong, Hannah. We’ve survived worse.”
“You can’t come with us,” she said. “It’s a violation of your probation.”
“Okay, then you and the kids go. Maybe Sara will let me crash with her. Or Bone. I’ll finish probation and then join you. That might be better anyway— I can keep working and send you money.”
She rolled her head toward me, sighing.
“This is really happening, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it’s really happening. Unless…” I swallowed, trying to wrap my head around it. “Unless you want to try talking to Heath, Hannah. Maybe you’re wrong. He might be willing to help. He likes you a lot.”
“I like him a lot, too,” she said slowly, and from the pain in her eyes I knew it was true. “I might even love him. But I don’t know him well enough to be sure, and once we talk to him then it’s all on the record. He’s a straight and narrow kind of guy. Takes his job seriously. Even if he believes us, I don’t know if the prosecutor would take our side. I could lose the girls.”
I sighed, my head starting to throb.
“Not only that, you’d probably have to testify against Randy,” I admitted. “Assuming they believed you. Which they totally should, but…you’re right. We’re not the kind of girls people listen to.”