I teeter back and lean against a tree. My arms are shaky, my wrist killing me. I'm afraid I'll drop her and let the tree support my weight. With a sigh, I rest my head against hers and close my eyes.
"I'm so sorry, baby," I murmur. "I should've been more careful."
She's calming in my arms.
"I'll take her." Captain Mathis says quietly.
I look up at him. Normally, I'd argue, but right now, I'm feeling weak.
"Marines don't hug," Jenna replies.
"I'll make one exception," he replies without hesitation.
She goes to him and wraps her arms around his neck. "Can we have bacon again?"
Sawyer meets my gaze, his dark eyes taking in my features. I wipe my cheeks free of tears self-consciously. He's standing close enough to make my blood race, his scent and warmth tickling my senses.
"You good to go?" he asks.
"Great." I straighten, embarrassed by the intensity of his look, especially in front of Petr, who has on eyebrow raised. "By the way, when did you give them bacon?"
Sawyer starts to smile. A real smile, like he gives everyone else. He's holding my gaze, and my face is getting warm.
"Do you know how processed bacon is? There's nothing natural about it by the time they're done making it," I add. I can't summon the normal amount of anger I should, not after what we just went through. If he doesn't stop looking at me like that, I'm going to start begging him for bacon, too.
"But I love bacon," Jenna says mournfully. She rests her head on Sawyer's shoulder.
"Bacon should be its own food group," Riley seconds.
"Whatever." I move around Sawyer and start walking back towards the course. One look from him, and I'm having trouble thinking and don't even notice how soaked and cold my clothing is.
The warmth he creates lasts until I start to think about what he said when we were clinging to the ravine wall.
You haven't given yourself time to heal from Mikael's death.
I hate that he's right. It's the same reason I don't want to take down Mikael's pictures, because I'm afraid if I let go, I'll lose what part of him I still have.
By the time we're back to the dorms, I'm close to tears again.