I emerge from the room dissatisfied, feeling as though I'm leaving behind everything I own. I guess, in a way, I am. That seems to be the purpose of camping: to get away from everyone and everything you've ever known.
I've never had that desire, though, so this is even more uncomfortable for me.
The skies are cloudy. There's no sign of rain, and I silently pray that the weather report is wrong. It's going to be rough enough without being miserable in the rain.
We all board a bus that takes us to another point in the forest where Petr and Mikael set up the obstacle course. The kids are excited, and their enthusiasm puts me at ease. I sit with them on the bus while the other adults all congregate towards the front. Watching them makes me feel even more out of place. They all get along so well. Even Captain Mathis, who is tense around me, is relaxing and smiling with the others.
People don't relax around me. Can he be right? My delivery drives off people I'm trying to help? I've always been a bit socially awkward, more so after my mother died. My father and brothers became overprotective for a few years, and I barely left the house until I was in high school. Stuck in an elite, private school with kids who had grown up with one another, I really didn't have any motivation to make friends. I didn't have good friends until college, and I'm grateful that a bunch of them stuck around this area.
The others here are so much better adjusted than I am. I guess it helps that this is their scene, while mine is at home or in college or at the club.
I don't look too long, and pay attention to the girls I'm sitting with, needing the distraction from our destination.
When we arrive, everyone piles out of the bus. On the other side of the three-mile course is where we'll be camping. This afternoon is a familiarization round. Tomorrow, the kids will run the course, with the team with the best time winning.
The tree near the start of the course is where Petr and Mikael both carved their names and the date they finished building the course. They did everything together, from laying cement foundations where needed to chopping wood to testing and fortifying every rope, bridge, bar and anything else on the course. It took them a year to build the course. I used to come out with lunches and watch them, helping if and when they'd let me.
The world seems to fade as I gaze at the tree. The others are gathering around Brianna and Harris for a safety briefing. I go instead to the tree.