Letting go of it was hard and took me weeks of hyping myself up. It's not possible to get over the impact Sawyer Mathis has had on my life, no matter how much time passes. I want to. I'm trying. But it's like trying to forget Mikael. It'll never happen. Sending off the duck was like accepting that I'd never see either of them again. It hurt so much, I cried when I returned from the post office.
I sent it with a phony address and no note. I'm counting on him thinking it's from the Marine friend who inspired him to enlist. If he's staying there for Christmas, he might as well not be alone. The duck can keep him company.
The idea makes me smile, and I close the drawer and grab a sweater.
"Ready, sis?" Petr calls, knocking on my door.
I join him in the hall. He's dressed in a warm sweater that stretches across his broad chest and dark slacks.
"You need a scarf," I tell him automatically.
"Trained killer. No scarf."
"You look tired. Were you drinking all night?"
He rolls his eyes. "Come on."
We leave the house through the servants' stairwell to the car awaiting us out front. Our house is full of guests, the way it is every year this time. The second floor is packed with relatives, family friends and Petr's military friends, and the overflow is being housed in the guest cottages and mother-in-law wing of the mansion.
This evening is my last walk through of the event site for the charity event tomorrow.
"Hope this is worth leaving the guys and the booze," Petr says.
"You'll have plenty of time to get drunk," I snap. "How often do you get to see a charity event I put together?"
It's my first. He knows better than to answer.
He's smiling faintly, gaze on the snow brushing the window.
We travel the half hour to the exclusive country club Baba rented out at my insistence. The main areas are a flurry of activity with workers finishing up the exterior walkways, laying fake snow inside, and setting up the dining room. There's a bazaar in one area with vendors setting up, a silent auction section featuring items donated by local families and others, a children's room with a throne for Santa and live petting zoo on the porch extension, and a light display covering three acres out back, complete with lantern-lit walkway.
The activity, plentiful Christmas decorations and bright lights everywhere pull a smile from me, despite my apprehension about something being out of place or going wrong.
"You did all this?" Petr is standing in the middle of a miniature train track running around the interior of the building.