“Thank you, Dominic. If I didn’t say so before, thank you for saving my life.”
I’m quiet on the stairs of the embassy. I’m like a ghost as I walk down the hall. The light is off in Jamie’s room, but I can’t tell if he’s asleep or out somewhere, wandering through the city. I don’t know, and I tell myself it doesn’t matter. I just ease open my door and step inside, closing it softly behind me, thankful for the dark.
“It’s about time,” a voice says, and I can’t help myself: I scream and spin.
“Lila!” I try to catch my breath and glare at the girl who is lounging atop my covers, a smug smirk on her perfect face.
“Members of your family really need to learn to knock,” I say, remembering the night when I met Noah.
“I did knock.” Lila stretches and twists across my bed like a very shiny cat. “You weren’t here.”
“And you came in anyway?”
“Oh. I’m sorry. You’re so right. I should have knocked on every door in the embassy looking for you, asking if anyone knew where I could find you. Would you have preferred that?”
She has me and she knows it. When I flip on the light she eyes me, and I see that Megan is asleep in my chair.
“Nice sweater,” Lila says as I strip off my cardigan. That’s also when I realize that I must have put it on inside out.
I could say something, retreat. But I am far more comfortable on the offensive.
“What do you want, Lila?”
I think maybe she’s going to tell me that it’s over, that she’s told her mom or Ms. Chancellor and any moment now an army of lady librarian assassins is going to storm the embassy’s walls and take me away for my betrayal.
But Lila just crosses her arms and studies me. “So how was Alexei?”
I could deny it. I could fight it. But I have learned to pick my battles wisely, and under any circumstances, Lila is a worthy foe, so I say, “Fine.”
“What is it?” Megan is still half asleep, but she’s pulling herself together.
“Also, your hair is wet,” Lila tells me, then looks at Megan. “Grace came home.”
“Was there something the two of you needed?” I don’t mean to snap, really I don’t. But I’m too tired and it’s too late. I’m too hungry and worried and I don’t know what just happened between Alexei and me, but I know that something’s different now. We are different. Lila and Megan would probably know about boys. They could probably tell me what happened, but that would be betraying Alexei and whatever our private moment meant.
If Megan and I were alone, I might ask, but Lila and I aren’t friends. I know it. She knows it. If it weren’t for the Society and Alexei and all the drama of our lives, we would exist in completely separate social spheres.
But I can see something changing inside of Lila. Her features shift as she climbs off the bed and walks to the window. The moon is bright and full, and its light slashes across her pretty face. There was a time, not long ago, when that would have reminded me of a scar. But Lila’s skin is perfect. It’s what’s in her eyes that scares me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
Lila turns to Megan, and something passes between them. Megan’s fully awake now, and I can tell that she’s almost afraid.
“You two are scaring me,” I say.
Megan reaches down and picks up her laptop. “You know how you told me to — and I quote — do my computer thing and find out all I can about that night?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I did.”
“That was fast. What did you find?”
“This.” Megan sounds like she’d give anything to take it back, but it’s too late. For a lot of things.
She turns the laptop around. It takes a moment to recognize the scene that’s playing out in black and white. The footage is from one of the embassies. I can tell by the fences that line the street. It’s dark and the night is clear.
“It’s from the night of the party,” Megan says. “Most of us were still on the island — it wasn’t that late. And then …” Megan trails off but gestures to the screen, where Spence is walking down an alley that’s just off Embassy Row. He’s covered in dust and his hat is missing, but it’s definitely him, and he’s definitely 100 percent alive.
“Isn’t there a tunnel entrance around that corner?” I ask. Megan nods.
“Yeah, but —”
“Well, that’s good, right? This is more proof that he made it back to the mainland alive?”
“Keep watching,” Lila says.
On the screen, Spence turns, walks out of sight.
Then, ten seconds later, Alexei appears as well.
And follows.
I’ve been wrong, and I’ve been crazy. But this is the first time I’ve ever truly felt like a fool.
I keep thinking about the way Alexei held me and looked into my eyes while he lied. It makes me want to take a hot shower, scrub off every inch of skin he might have touched. It makes me wonder how a person can be so wrong so often. It makes me realize I’m the last person on earth anyone should ever trust.
That’s what keeps me up all night.
That’s why I can’t relax long enough to close my eyes or sleep or eat or do anything but stare at the walls of my mother’s bedroom, rocking and wondering exactly when and how everything went so wrong.
That’s why, when morning comes, I know exactly what I have to do.