“Do as I tell you, now, and stop this.” Rafiq’s tone held the slightest bit of contempt.
Caleb pulled away and tried to run past Rafiq, but his path was blocked and soon Rafiq’s firm grip held his arm. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to. I won’t do it again.” This time the tears were present in his voice. He couldn’t hide his shame.
Rafiq pulled him to his chest and held him tight, “You are, Kéleb, no longer. You are not a dog, and no one’s whore. You don’t owe me that. You owe it to no one.”
Caleb cried and held tighter to Rafiq. He couldn’t speak.
“Have you ever been with a woman, Caleb?” Rafiq whispered above him.
Caleb shook his head. He had seen them of course, there were female whores Narweh kept, but they were separated from the boys and never shared with them. He’d caught glimpses of their bodies and wondered what it would be like to touch them, but it was a pleasure he’d never experienced.
Rafiq led Caleb toward his own room and opened the door. Slowly, he released Caleb and urged him inside. Reluctantly, Caleb loosened his arms and meekly stepped toward the bed he’d made for himself on the floor. “Tomorrow, then” Rafiq said casually, “Tomorrow you’ll begin to learn how to take your place at my side. You’ll have your choice of them.” He smiled as Caleb stared at him in shock and then he shut the door.
Caleb still couldn’t sleep, but now the reasons were different. For the first time since he could remember, Caleb was excited about what the morning would bring.
***
Caleb’s eyes opened in the dark. The dream, the memory, lingered. He suddenly felt like a boy again, scared of the dark, scared of the unknown, and lonely. It was strange how a dream could make itself real. It could take control of one’s mind and invoke sentiment, so much so, it affected the body. Caleb felt a lump in his throat; it shouldn’t be there, he was far removed from the scared boy he had been and yet there it was. His heart hammered strongly in his chest and his palms were sweaty.
He told himself over and over it had been a dream, but the emotions clung to him like thick molasses. No matter how he tried to wipe them from his thoughts, they remained, shifting from one side of his psyche to the other, vacillating between the joys he had felt in experiencing his first moment of acceptance and the grief of knowing the future.
RezA had died. Rafiq had burned Narweh’s body where Caleb had left it, inside the house. He had not looked for survivors, he had not warned anyone in the house. Rafiq had imparted the information to Caleb one morning after breakfast, when he’d finally found the courage to ask about what had happened.
He had wept for RezA and the other boys in private after scalding himself with a hot spoon he’d been using to stir beans. As his flesh burned, he tried to envision what RezA had felt in the last horrifying moments of his life. Caleb had killed his only friend and in the end the only scar he had to show for it was on the inside after his burned skin was cut away and new skin took its place.
Caleb wanted another shower, one so hot he wouldn’t be able to think about anything else, but he knew the behavior was stupid and would likely cause more damage than could heal in time for him to continue with his mission. It had been some time since Caleb had had this many compulsive episodes. Yes, he sometimes needed the pain, but such needs were usually spread out over long periods of time. In the last few weeks, he’d struggled not to give in to his impulses many times. It couldn’t continue.
Rafiq had done what he needed to do. For Caleb to become the man Rafiq needed him to be; to become the man he wanted to be, there could be no witnesses that knew him as Narweh’s dog. It was a harsh and debilitating truth at the time, but Caleb understood it as a man in a way he never could as a boy. RezA would have done the same.
Caleb rolled over on the floor and sat up to stare at the shape of Kitten’s body sleeping on the bed above him. She moved around a lot, her legs jumping beneath the blankets occasionally. It appeared to Caleb she wanted to roll onto her side, or her stomach, but even in sleep, the pain kept her in a slightly upright position.
Her words from earlier drifted toward him:
“You could not sell me… I could stay with you… be with you?”
He sighed, wishing things could be so simple. What would Rafiq say to such a request? Did it even have to be a request? Caleb was a man after all, and a dangerous one at that. Perhaps Caleb need only inform Rafiq of the way it was to be and move on from there. The girl was beaten and bruised, her virginity in question as far as Rafiq would be concerned. How difficult would it be to simply call it a lost cause with Kitten? But honestly, it wouldn’t repair anything. He would forever be her captor and she would forever be his prisoner. He had to stop going back and forth. He’d made a decision, he would stick to it. End of story.
Kitten shifted some more on the bed and whimpered for a few seconds before her eyes finally opened. Her lungs rose and fell deeply and harshly. Apparently, Caleb wasn’t the only one suffering from nightmares. To her credit, she hadn’t cried out or asked for him. She looked around the room and caught sight of him, then looked away and sat up slowly.
“Morning,” he said wryly.
She nodded, but otherwise didn’t respond. She tossed her blanket off of her legs in a slow, taxing motion and stiffly stood before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door. Within seconds he could hear the water from the sink running. Caleb wondered how she was planning to use the facilities because the toilet was set into the ground and required the user to squat above it to do their business. It would be difficult for her to maintain her balance given her injuries, but he decided her need for privacy was perhaps greater than her need for help at the moment.
Caleb went about setting the room to rights and collecting the things he’d need to get ready for the day ahead. Neither of them had much in the way of clothing, but they only had one more day to travel, so the point was moot. He looked through the groceries he had purchased and found the bananas as well as some raspberry pastries. That would do nicely for breakfast. There were plenty of bottles of water left as well. He checked his watch and noted it was only five-thirty in the morning. The sooner they were out and on the road the better. They could make it to Tuxtepec by dinner time, even if they took another twelve hours to get there. He would have to make a stop in town before they left.
Caleb reached for his cell phone and dialed Rafiq.
“Salaam.”
“Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”
“Am I to answer to you, then?”
“Why the f**k not? We’re partners, or has Jair usurped my position in the last two days?”
Rafiq laughed. It was the kind of laugh Caleb had suffered through for years, a dismissive, derisive laugh, meant to put Caleb in his place, below his master. “Don’t be childish, Caleb. You’re the one who made our last conversation so hostile. Jair is hardly in a position to incite your jealousy.”
“I’m not jealous, I’m irritated and you’re only making it worse. Where are you?”
“Where are you, Caleb? Where is the girl?”
Caleb took a deep breath and exhaled away from the phone. It was the moment of truth. “We’re in Zacatecas. We should be in Tuxtepec by morning at the latest.”
“The morning?” Rafiq admonished, “You’re less than a day’s drive from Jair and your hostages, why would you be gone any longer?”
“It’s the girl, her injuries slow us down. I keep having to stop for her.”
“You’re going to arouse suspicion by driving around with her like that.” Rafiq paused, his breathing as grating as his voice. Caleb braced for it. “She is the final part of this, Caleb. She must be ready. She must be perfect. If you can’t do this, I would be more than willing to take over.”
Caleb clenched his jaw with so much force he could hear it popping. “It’ll be fine, Rafiq. I can do it,” he bit out. “Stop questioning me. I know what I need to do. That’s all I think about.”
“What about the hostages you’ve taken? What are your plans for them?”
“Revenge. Naturally.”
Rafiq laughed, “There you are, Khoya. I’d begun to worry. Do try to keep your head this time, from what I hear, the pair might prove useful to us.”
A strange feeling bloomed in Caleb’s chest, “Where are you?”
“Close.”
“Fine. I assume I’ll see you soon.” He hung up, annoyed.
Kitten stepped out of the bathroom looking a bit lost. Last night had put them on different footing and now it was up to Caleb to maintain the status quo he had created between them. He set his phone on the table and walked toward his captive. She stilled as he approached, her eyes set upon the floor and her hands clasped in front of her. Her nervousness was obvious, but alluring nonetheless.
Caleb swept his hand down her face, careful not to press on her bruises and swept her hair back over her shoulder. “Whenever you enter a room and your purpose is unclear, always kneel next to your master.” Kitten did not hesitate to comply, though her movements were slow as she struggled toward the ground.
“Good,” Caleb whispered, “now spread your knees and sit back on your ankles with your hands on your thighs and your head bowed. Your master should be able to see every part of you and know you will not move until you’re told. Do you understand?”