"I do, but that doesn't change the fact that he needs to behave like a husband. How he only comes to visit every now and then. It is more like I'm his mistress than his wife."
Was I asking for too much? Dare I even say, I longed to share a few laughs, dreams and ideas with the man I loved. I needed him to talk to me about current events for a few minutes out of each day. As a woman with emotional, mental, and physical needs, it was a necessity that I reconnect with my husband, and fast. Either that connection would be established, or I was setting myself free.
I said in all sincerity, "I would give all this up in a heartbeat. I'm ready to start a family, engage in long late night conversations about everything and nothing at all, spend hours staring into his eyes for no reason except that I love the glow in them, and go on family trips and vacations. Sometimes when I'm alone in this big house, I can just imagine the little pitter-patter of baby feet. I wish…" I paused, unable to say the words that would cut through my ego like a knife. Glancing at the ceiling, I attempted to ward off more tears. I cursed the fact that I could be so sensitive. What I wouldn't give to be a hardcore chick that could not only survive, but thrive, in this environment.
"Okay! Okay!" Ronnie broke the silence. "I wasn't supposed to tell you, but maybe, just maybe, he's stuck in Atlanta traffic. He went there today to pick up a gift he had special ordered for you. Dang, now that the cat is out of the bag, do you feel better?"
"Really, he's in Atlanta buying me a gift?" My heart lurched with relief. I wondered why Rhonda would let me go through such anguish when she knew where my husband was.
"Girl, yeah, a sistah's word." A sistah's word was a saying we had for a statement that was the truth. In other words, what she was saying was one hundred percent.
"I know you were trying to keep the surprise, but you could have saved me a lot of grief by spoiling that one, girl. How could you allow me to wallow around whining on the phone for the last hour when you knew that my husband was out picking up a gift? I'm beginning to think you enjoy my pain," I said with a laugh. Despite my unease, I had to admit that my mood brightened at the mere thought of Titus doing something special for me.