"I know bud." Which was a stretch. She felt bad sometimes that his dad wasn't around, but she was also glad about it. She didn't trust Eric with Colton's well being. She didn't trust Eric at all. She couldn't help but feel glad he wanted nothing to with Colton. Which was causing her guilt right now. Was it helping or hurting Colton?
Mandy took a deep breath. "Look, Cole. We will talk about it. I have to talk to your Dad. And there's lots of stuff to figure out." She had no idea if Eric even wanted to see his son for even a day, let alone for an extended period of time. There was also the distance between them.
Colton let out a sigh, as he looked up at her. "I know Mom. That's why I didn't want to tell you." He never wanted to burden her with his problems.
"Cole, you have to tell me these things. We've talked about that before. Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out, together, okay?"
"Okay," he said, still sounding dejected.
Mandy's heavy heart took on an extra ton as she drove away from Kip's house. She couldn't even discuss it with Kip. Their relationship wasn't ready yet to take on the burden of this problem. It was too new, too fragile. And the problem was too complex. Hopefully, she could connect with Sophia about it, before she connected with Eric.
As the kilometers passed, distancing herself from Kip and all things associated with him, Mandy's mind turned to the new problem. And it wasn't really the distance, or Eric. It was her letting Colton go. She'd never been away from him more than a day in eight years. Her identity as a Mom came first in her life, always. Being a teacher was just a job, but a mom was what she was. Protecting Colton was what she had dedicated her life to since the day he was born.
This reality wasn't what she'd dreamed her family was going to be like. Those old childhood dreams.
It was time she let go of those dreams. Those ideals. It wasn't going to happen now.
The reality was that Colton was going to be gone with his dad for short periods of time. And during those times, she was going to have no control over Colton's actions, well-being or well, anything.
Mandy sighed. It was hard to let go of those things, but it was time. It was probably time to let go of expectations in other areas as well. Like, life with Kip. Her ideal life was one where he wasn't on the road. Hell, if she had her way he'd be moving to Red Deer to live with her instead of the other way around.