And since Tommy was the man behind the less seemly part of Shade operations, he never came to her office anyway.
Which meant, thankfully, I never saw him.
Also not because Gill did show at the offices frequently. What happened with Nick and his girlfriend notwithstanding, he was as clean as Georgia (though not as clean as me). He was also officially taking Georgia’s hand in marriage. With Tommy managing the boys, he was therefore recruiting them, so her pussy was now out of commission except for Gill’s use. They were planning a lavish affair where the flowers cost more than an SUV and her gown was being custom made.
I had no idea my sister had fallen in love with a man seven years ago.
I was fine with that.
I’d had plenty of time to think about it and the decision I’d made was I was fine with anything that kept me out of their loop.
I was also fine with my father being out of the picture. The evidence pointing to the fact that he shot Drake Nair in the head in cold blood overwhelming (because he actually shot Drake Nair in the head in cold blood), he copped a plea. That still put him behind bars for twenty years, which meant he’d be deep in his seventies when he got out.
There was a small blip to this insofar as Dad got a message to Georgia reminding her she and I were present at that particular murder. His insinuation was that, if he went down, he was taking both of us with him, so he needed her to be certain he did not go down.
Considering the fact she’d masterminded his arrest, and he wasn’t stupid enough not to know that, he figured she could do something to reverse the situation, and as was his wont, he was using both of his daughters as a means to that end.
Georgia communicated to me precisely what a hassle she felt this was for her. Regardless (mostly, my guess, because she needed me to do the job I was doing for the family, and no way in hell she was going down), she negotiated a deal that my father would make it through that twenty years in prison without any issues if he left both of us be.
He’d balked at first. But something I was not made privy to happened in lockup so he changed his mind and made the deal.
He was no longer in our lives.
I had no intention of deepening my relationship with my sister because of that.
I also had no intention of continuing a relationship at all with my father, so I didn’t.
And as life was already dismal enough, I didn’t need other sources making it more so, therefore when Georgia cut off our stepfather’s kickback, I cut off my mother.
She brought me no joy so why bother?
Nothing brought me joy but Mom not only didn’t bring joy, she was a pain in the ass.
So seriously.
Why bother?
It was not a surprise when my mother didn’t bother either. I imagined it was actually a relief to her. It freed up her social schedule and added time she could berate her employees and control my stepfather.
I went to work because I got paid to do it. I went home to the huge-ass house my father made me buy that it was annoying to try to sell, and since I didn’t have to anymore, I took it off the market. I did Pilates. I walked on the treadmill. I had my eyebrows shaped and my pubic hair waxed. I went to movies by myself. I went to dinner by myself.
I breathed.
I existed.
I pushed as far as Georgia would allow me to do so as my only enjoyment.
When I knew I was pushing too far, I toed the line.
The only other blip to getting to that was the unsurprising fact that Georgia had lost her mind about the fact that Nick had played me. She’d been infuriated at Nick for making that move. She’d been more infuriated at me that I’d let him.
The conversation with my sister that came right after the conversation I had with Tommy telling him I was over him and we had no future, regardless of his plans for six years he shared not an iota of with me, was unpleasant to say the least.
But one thing you could say for it, outside of it being done, was that I now definitely knew my place.
My father might be incarcerated but I was a Shade and my life was owned by the head of the House.
I could fuck who I wanted (not that I did) just as long as they were nameless and harmless. If I actually developed feelings for someone, the silent understanding was that I told Georgia.
I might have found this even bleaker than my life if I had any intention to have feelings for anyone.
Since I did not, it wasn’t a problem.
In the case of Nick, I had no idea what was happening. That was part of the business she didn’t share with me. Although part of the unpleasantness of our conversation was me sharing I would very much rather my sister not put a hit out on the man who had dishonestly won my heart, but he’d done it all the same.
This was taken as a weakness in my allegiance.
I said no further to my sister on the subject.
I’d made my warnings to Nick. He could take care of himself.
Nevertheless, I sent an anonymous letter to his brother at his nightclub, sharing that the danger was still very real and measures should be taken.
That was all I allowed myself to do mostly because it was all I could do.
As I was not of that world anymore, I’d heard nothing. But watching the news and reading the paper daily did not share that a young, vital, handsome man had been found dead.
So Nick was taking care of himself.
That was good.
In the four months since Nick walked out of my house, I heard nothing from him and saw nothing of him, which proved my assertions during our heinous final conversation true.
I did not believe because there was nothing to believe.
I had no earthly idea but my guess would be that a man who loved a woman would not walk away from her and not look back.
So there it was.