“The bond between us has been stronger for awhile now. When Jack helped you escape from the palace, I lost my vision completely. When you were taken this time, I never lost my vision at all. It wasn’t the best vision, but I could still see, and that was long before last night, understand?”
She closed her eyes as a single tear slid free. “Yes.” He brushed the tear away, his fingers slid over his fresh bite marks again as he ignored the rest of the fading marks on her body. “So your eyes are healing?”
He shrugged. “I think your blood has helped them to heal, you’ve made me stronger than I ever knew I could be.”
“And if I’m gone?”
“I don’t know, it may stay the way it was this time or I may become blind again. I will get through whatever happens though. Don’t concern yourself with that Aria, that isn’t one of the things I want you to worry about.”
“I’d like for you to move on, to find someone else…”
“No,” he interrupted as his fingers stilled. His entire being recoiled at the thought, revulsion twisted like a poisonous snake through his belly. “No.”
“You will require an heir.”
“There is Jack for that, or Ashby and Melinda.”
“Braith…”
“No Aria, no. I can promise you that I’ll keep on living and that I will stay in control of myself and lead justly. Those are promises I know I can keep, but I will not make that one. I will not be able to uphold it and I won’t lie to you.”
“Maybe not now, but you have years ahead of you. You will need love, companionship.”
“No!” he said forcefully. “No. There is no one after you. Five hundred years, another thousand years, hell forever is not going to change that. Don’t push this Aria; the answer will not change no matter how you try to spin it.”
For a moment he thought she was going to argue again but she finally relented. “Ok.” She kissed his nose tenderly, her fingers traced over the faded scars around his eyes. “I’m afraid Braith. I never thought I’d live long, I never thought I’d have this kind of life, and I’m afraid to lose it. I wasn’t afraid to die to be away from you, and I shouldn’t be afraid to die to be with you...”
“Great way to put it,” he muttered sardonically.
“But I am,” she continued. “I’m afraid to lose the years we could have if something goes wrong, and though I know I’ll survive, or at least I’m fairly certain I will…”
“I know Aria; you don’t have to explain it to me. I understand.”
He closed his eyes, his fingers slid through her hair before stroking over her shoulders. It was easy enough to jump all over this, to say yes to the promise of eternity, but to be faced with the certainty of death was frightening, and the last thing he wanted was for her to be frightened. He wanted eternity, but he wanted her happiness more.
“It doesn’t have to be now Aria, you don’t have to decide right now. We can wait and discuss it further once you’ve had time to think it over.”
She nodded; her eyes became distant and thoughtful. “Yes, I think that would be for the best.” He was relieved that she was actually going to think this through. Even so he felt the sharp knife of disappointment in his gut. “I’m not ready for children Braith. No matter what happens, if I change soon or if we wait a few years, I’m not ready for children.”
His arms clenched around her waist as he pulled her against his chest. “I want them with you!” she gushed out. “But not right now. We just discovered this world of relative peace and we’re finally able to be together without having to hide our feelings. I’d like the time to enjoy it, and you. Human or vampire, children are a lot of work.”
“That they are,” he murmured.
She peered up at him from under lowered lashes. “I’d like a brood one day though.”
“A brood?”
“Well at least three.”
He laughed as he rested his chin on her head and nestled her closer against him. “I can handle three, but there’s only one way to guarantee we don’t have children right now,” he reminded her.
She shot him a disgruntled look. “Well that’s just not going to happen.”
He laughed as he rocked her a little. “Minx.”
“My birthday’s next week.”
“I didn’t know that.”
She smiled as she shrugged. “William and I don’t really celebrate it; it’s just another day in the woods, and this year… Well this year, with dad being gone, it seems like even less of a reason to celebrate. I never thought I’d make it to eighteen, especially after I was captured.”
“I think we should celebrate it this year.”
“Maybe it would be nice,” she murmured though she didn’t look convinced.
“Are you sure you can live with this life?” She frowned at him as she leaned back. He rose and placed her down as he gestured around the garden. “This isn’t your world Aria; I know that, you know that. I remember how unhappy you were in the palace, how much you missed your woods, your freedom. There will be many demands placed on us, lots of pressure, and even less freedom. Even if you choose to stay human this is not the life you expected.”
“Braith…”
“I mean to make sure you understand that Aria. I won’t force you to stay. If you choose to leave because you won’t be happy here, I won’t make you stay. I’ll abide by your wishes, but I can’t, I simply can’t go right now, maybe not ever.” He choked on the words; it took all he had to get them out. “Sometimes love…”
“Isn’t always enough,” she whispered.
“It’s always enough, but sometimes it’s learning to put someone else’s happiness ahead of your own. It’s learning to let go Aria, if it’s necessary, and I will let you go if you ask me to. I’ll set you free if that is what you require. It will destroy me to lose you, but I will not harm anyone, and I will let you live the rest of your life in peace. I will not take your freedom from you.”
“I know.” She rose to her feet and walked over to him. Her arms encircled his waist, her head tilted back to study him as tears slid down her cheeks. “I know you would let me go but I don’t want you to.”
“You can’t rush into this decision.”
“I’m not rushing into this,” she whispered. “And I can go into the woods once in awhile, can’t I?”
“As often as I can I will take you into the woods,” he vowed.
“Good. I think I can keep my sanity then,” she grinned up at him as she nudged his hip.
Braith groaned as he pulled her tight against him and stared at the sculpted figure of the couple in the fountain. The couple that was forever fated to look but never touch. He never wanted to let go of her, and yet he may be the very one that destroyed her if she decided to choose eternity.
Chapter 19
The celebration was far larger than she’d expected. Before this day she and William had celebrated their birthdays by receiving larger slices of meat, usually a new bow and arrows, and being serenaded with a silly song they hated. Now they had more food than she’d ever seen in her life, a small band playing instruments, and a massive cake that she couldn’t tear her eyes away from. Her mouth watered every time she looked at the elaborately decorated thing, and all she craved was a giant piece of it.
“I think I’m jealous of the cake.”
“Huh?” Aria muttered as she tore her gaze away from the massive creation of sugary goodness in the middle of the table.
Braith laughed as he slid his arm around her waist. “I’m jealous of the cake; you can’t take your eyes off it.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” she marveled. “It’s amazing.”
“Even more so than me?”
She waved her hand dismissively at him. “Of course not, but wow.”
“Would you like a piece?”
“Aren’t we supposed to eat first or sing or something?”
“It’s your birthday; you can do whatever you like.”
William shouldered in between them. He placed his crutch in front of her, blocking her path. He was perfectly willing to trip her if she even attempted to get a piece before him. “It’s my birthday too, and as the older, wiser sibling I should get the first piece.”
“I’ll give you older, but you are most certainly not wiser,” she retorted. “And as the younger, female sibling, I should get the first piece.”
“As the still crippled and hobbling sibling, I beg to differ.”
Aria snorted. “I could just kick the crutch out from under you.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
“Why don’t you just each get a piece at the same time,” Braith inserted reasonably.
Aria shot him a look. “Reason doesn’t apply to the twins, brother. They won’t shut up till their stuffing their faces,” Jack informed him as he sauntered toward them.
William shrugged casually but nodded enthusiastically in agreement. “The man has a valid point.”
Braith looked confused but shook his head and headed to the table. She watched Braith’s deft hands as he slid the knife through the bottom of the cake, cutting off one pink rose and one red one. She became more fascinated with those hands than she had been with the cake. Strong and brutal when they had to be, and yet so achingly tender and loving when they slid over her. Aria mentally shook herself from her thoughts before they wandered to things that were far from appropriate here.
He started back with two large pieces. “Can I mess with him some more?” William asked.
“Sure,” she replied laughingly.
Braith handed her a slice of cake before giving William his. “Hers is bigger.”
“Excuse me?” Braith inquired in surprise.
“You gave her the bigger piece.”
Jack burst into loud laughter as Braith stared incredulously at William. Aria bit her upper lip as she tried not to laugh. “You two are just freaking hilarious,” Braith muttered.
Aria couldn’t stifle her laughter anymore but her attention was quickly diverted by the giant slice of cake in front of her as William eagerly dove into his piece. “Delicious.”
Aria eyed her brother with envy as she grabbed her fork. She still found utensils to be annoying but at least she was getting better at using them. “Amazing,” she agreed.
Braith was watching her with a raised eyebrow and a small smile on his face. “Hopefully you’ll like our wedding cake as much.”
She choked on her cake; William froze with his bite halfway to his mouth. “Excuse me?” she managed to get out around Daniel’s solid thumps on her back.
Braith just grinned back at her, in the same annoying way that William had been smiling at him. “You heard me.”
She glanced at her brothers not sure she was actually understanding him right. Marriage wasn’t something she’d ever really thought about before, but then how else did someone become a queen? She realized she’d never put a whole lot of thought into it, but it would be marriage that solidified her position. When he’d told her that he wanted her as his queen, and they would accept her, he’d also been saying that he planned to marry her. She felt like an idiot.
She couldn’t think of anything better than being his wife for the rest of her life. A flood of childhood dreams came rushing back. There had been a time when she’d dreamed of a husband and children, and a marriage ceremony underneath the banquet tree. With her family surrounding her…
A hot rush of tears filled her eyes. She’d been doing well today, trying to stay upbeat; enjoying her time with her brothers and Braith, trying not to think about the fact that their father wasn’t here to celebrate it with them. The smile slipped from Braith’s face as he watched her.
“I’ll give you away Aria,” Daniel offered.
“We both will,” William interjected forcefully.
“Easy there hop along. She’s not used to dresses and between the two of you one of you would end up falling over.” Jack smiled at them as he tried to ease the mood again.
“Especially if she’s wearing heels,” Braith added with a small wink. Aria forced herself to shake off her melancholy. It was so rare Braith was lighthearted, and he was trying to be so now, she had to try also.
“Oh that must be like a fish out of water!” Max declared with a loud laugh. “I actually wouldn’t mind seeing it!”
“I would kind of like to see that too,” William said.