His gaze narrowed, because where before she’d always had a glow about her, despite the abovementioned living conditions, and she’d always been quick to laugh and had always been happy, she looked nothing like that now. What the hell had happened to her? What was all that bullshit about him ruining her life? His mind was ablaze with questions as all she’d said finally sank in.
She was quiet and subdued, as if the light inside her had been extinguished. She looked . . . sad. Not at all like his Gracie.
What the hell had gone wrong? What was she thinking, remembering? And why did his heart feel like it was shattering into a million pieces? Where was the self-righteous anger he’d felt just seconds ago? Why had it suddenly fled and left him with the feeling that the truth—whatever that was—would likely kill him? That he might never recover from the ugly revelation?
She lifted her gaze, almost as if she were having to force herself to look at him, to keep her gaze connected to his. There was so much sorrow in the depths of those sweet brown eyes that it took his breath away. And hurt. So many negative emotions that Zack felt them like hurled daggers.
“Please leave,” she begged softly. “I never ever want to see you again. That’s me speaking, Zack. Not Wade. Not anyone else. It’s me. Think whatever you like, but don’t you ever touch me.”
Touch her? He hadn’t been close enough to touch her. He could understand the never seeing or talking to her again, but why would she tell him never to touch her?
Something was terribly wrong and it frustrated the hell out of him because it was obvious that nothing was going to be accomplished today. For one, there was this fiercely protective guard dog looking for the world like he’d love nothing more than to beat Zack to a bloody pulp. As if this smooth-talking rich asshole had a chance in hell of taking Zack down in a fight.
Then there was the fact that Gracie couldn’t even look at him. She was white as a ghost, shaken and obviously terrified. Of him, goddamn it.
All she’d said slammed into him like a bullet. He’d ruined her life. He’d done this awful thing and then the part about finishing the job?
The accusations she’d hurled at him swarmed in his mind like angry bees. He forced himself to look her calmly in the eyes and he took a step forward, which immediately made Sterling bristle.
“Read my mind, Gracie,” he said softly. “All you have to do is read my mind. Whatever it is you think I’ve done, just look inside my mind. You’ll get your answers, though it’s evident you don’t think I deserve them.”
She closed her eyes, tears streaking down her cheeks in never-ending rivulets.
When she reopened them, there was raw, naked emotion.
“Even if I could, I wouldn’t,” she said, her voice cracking under the strain. “God, I never want to see into anyone’s mind again. That’s the only thing I can ever thank you for, because you took that from me too.”
Her response took him aback. What the fucking hell was that? What did she mean he took her ability? There were so many questions tumbling through his mind that he had to make a concerted effort not to go off on a tangent, demanding answers right now.
But the last thing he wanted was a goddamn audience for what was certain to be a highly volatile conversation. Patience was not a virtue he possessed and this was frustrating him to the point of madness. So instead of bombarding her with the questions that were nearly tearing his lips off, he made his next statement with firmness just to make damn sure that the pussy Sterling didn’t miss the message that Zack in no way would be deterred in his pursuit of the past and what went so horribly wrong.
“We need to talk, Gracie,” he said grimly. “Without your little watchdog standing guard. You name the time and place. I don’t care how public it is, if that’s what will make you feel safe with me.” He damn near choked on those words. Hurt her? Wanting her to feel safe from him?
“I’ll even have the goddamn police present if that makes you feel better. But whatever the hell it is you think I did to you, I can tell you that you are dead wrong. And if it takes the rest of my goddamn life, we will have this conversation, Gracie. I won’t give up. I won’t go away. I won’t forget. I’ve waited twelve years for this moment, and I’ll be damned if I walk away from you like you walked away from me.”
NINE
ZACK turned the corner of the street a few blocks down from his apartment, sweat sliding down his spine. He’d pushed himself harder than normal, and his usual two-mile run had turned into three. It wasn’t until he’d seen the sign for his bank that he realized he’d far surpassed his routine run.
Not even taking a moment to rest or cool down, he propelled himself onward, blanking his mind to his inner turmoil as he made the jog back to his apartment.
The entire night before he and Eliza had searched exhaustively for leads on Gracie, and she’d been right here under his nose all along. Then for a second time, his quest for the truth had been stymied when he’d confronted her earlier today in the studio. He’d been put off, thanks to Sterling’s interference, twice. He’d been forced to retreat and wait for a better opportunity, though now that Gracie was tipped off to his presence and very unwelcoming of it, he wondered if she’d tuck tail and run. As she’d apparently done before.
Which meant waiting. More waiting.
Goddamn it, but he was tired of waiting. He’d waited twelve fucking years for this moment. He was further frustrated because it wasn’t as though he no longer knew where Gracie was. She was here. In this city. So close and yet so far away.
Never had he imagined their reunion would go as it had. She’d been afraid of him. Hell, not afraid, she’d been absolutely terrified.
His mind kept yanking him back to the look on her face. No shock. No pleasant surprise. No greeting for the man who’d loved—and searched for—her for more than a decade.
Why?
He knew he was missing one giant piece of the puzzle here. But hell if he knew what it was. If only she would talk to him. Give him something. Jesus, didn’t he deserve more than what he’d gotten? She acted as though she were the wronged party here. But he sure as hell hadn’t run out on her and left her to wonder if he was even alive for twelve goddamn years.
He’d given her everything. His heart, soul. He’d promised her forever. And he’d goddamn meant it. Not many college kids knew exactly what they wanted from the future. But he had. From the moment Gracie had entered his life, he’d had absolute focus. He’d known that his life would forever revolve around her.