Bending down, I scoop her up into my arms and distract her by blowing against her belly and walking fast down the hallway.
She begins laughing and squirming in my arms, being so loud that I wouldn’t be surprised if Jax came running up the stairs soon.
Once we get to the kitchen, I plop her down into her booster seat and grab the tray of pancakes away from Avalon so she can get out the orange juice.
“Mmmmm . . . Mickey Mouse never looked so fucking good,” Jax mumbles tiredly from the doorway.
“Language, asshole,” I complain.
“Both of you,” Avalon scolds while giving us the evil eye. “You two are hard to tame.”
I bite my bottom lip, before gripping her face and roughly pressing my lips against hers. Fuck . . . I love her to death. She puts up with so much from us. “I warned you, babe. Now eat your food.”
She narrows her eyes at me and shakes her head, before turning to Kylie. “You better eat up before Uncle Blaine shows up and eats Mickey.”
“Already here, gorgeous.”
“Of course,” I mumble, while reaching for more plates and pulling the pan of extra pancakes out of the oven. “Where there’s food there’s Blaine and Madi.”
“You know it,” Madison says with a smirk, before walking over and snatching the pan from me. “Every Sunday, sweets. Get used to it. We don’t wait for invites anymore.”
“Oh you were waiting for them, babe. That’s why you stacked that pan with pancakes,” Avalon says with a smile, happy we’ve all become so close lately.
I may not admit it out loud, but I’ve grown used to the gang showing up at our house for breakfast. I sort of like it, even though that means seeing Blaine’s hyper ass so early in the morning.
“Get your ass over here and sit down, brother.” Blaine throws a pancake, hitting me in the side of the head.
“I give up,” Avalon growls. “I’m going to have to start smacking you all in the mouth.” She points to Kylie, eating her food. “Little people ears here. Do I really have to remind you she’s like a sponge?”
“Shit! Got it!” Blaine says, clueless that he just fucked up again.
Avalon gives him a dirty look, but just shakes it off and continues eating her breakfast.
I have to walk behind Blaine to get to my seat, so I make a pit-stop on the way there to slap him on the back of the head and drop his pancake that he threw at me on his plate. “Eat up, brother.”
Laughing, I take my seat between Kylie and Avalon, where I belong.
I feel Avalon grab my leg from under the table and squeeze it. “I love you,” she whispers.
I place my hand over hers and squeeze it. “Love you more, baby.” I kiss her on the side of the head, before leaning over to kiss Kylie on the side of the head as well. “Love you, baby girl.”
Kylie eats Mickey’s ear and talks with her mouth full. “Love you more, daddy.”
My heart melts from her words; just like they do every single time that I hear them. She has a power over me that no one else could ever have.
She holds my heart in her tiny hand and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’ve been here; too long actually, and as I stand here staring down at the murky water, my heart aches that I’m standing here alone . . . without my family.
A part of me wanted to ask Avalon and Kylie to come with me, but a small part of me feared that Avalon’s feelings would be hurt that I still need to come here for Olivia. I know that she understands, but I also know that it can’t be easy either. I never want to do anything to hurt Avalon again. Her and Kylie come first now, and I will protect them both at all costs.
I’ll just give it a little more time. Maybe with a few passing years, Kylie will be able to fully understand our situation and I can make it a father-daughter thing each year.
“I’m sorry that I missed your birthday,” I whisper. “I’ve been making up for lost time with our daughter.” I stop to collect my emotions before continuing. It’s never easy being here. “She’s an amazing little girl, and I have an amazing woman to help me raise her. You’d like her. You would also be so proud of the father I’ve become. I know I am. I’m different because of them. Complete . . . finally.”
Holding up the single Calla Lily, I get ready to drop it into the water, but stop when I hear some noise behind me. It sounds like feet dragging in the dirt.
I drop my hand down to my side and turn behind me to see Kylie walking, holding a Calla Lily in her tiny hand. She’s dressed in a little aqua colored dress. It makes me smile because it was Olivia’s favorite color.
My chest fills with warmth that I can’t describe when she walks over and stands next to me, reaching for my hand with her free one.
Then one by one, more bodies join us, each one holding a single Calla Lily. First Blaine, followed by Jax, Madison, Mark, and then finally . . . Avalon.
With her eyes on me, and filled with love and understanding, she smiles and takes a spot between Kylie and Blaine.
Seeing them all here makes my chest ache with so much emotion, as I look down the line to see them all looking down into the water.
There’s no need for words right now. Nothing said out loud could make this moment any more special than it already is.
It’s perfect . . .
Swallowing back my emotions, I toss the Calla Lily I was holding into the water.
Then, I watch as each one drops theirs in, one by one down the line.
This is my life. This is my family. This is where I belong and where I plan to stay. I will do whatever it takes to keep it this way . . .
THE END