It was so frustrating. Being stuck in this holding pattern. Wanting to end things with Sterling, wanting to trust and believe Dante, but not being a hundred percent sure if I should.
There was only one thing to do.
I called Kat.
She should still be in Monterra, and it would be super early in the morning. I’d risk it.
“Somebody better be dead,” she muttered.
“I think my wedding might be.”
“What?”
“You were right. I need to end it with Sterling and give Dante a chance. Because he is in love with me. He just told me.”
She said nothing, but I knew what she was thinking. She proved it a second later when she said, “I hate to say I told you so, but . . .”
“You do not. You would toss Nico to the side and marry I told you so and have its babies if you could.”
“Do you love him?”
His cologne still lingered in the air, and I could still feel the phantom pressure of his lips on my skin, his hands holding mine. “I do love him.”
She was fully awake now. “Yes! I knew it! I told you s—never mind.”
“But I’m so scared.”
“I totally get it. I went to a different continent because I was scared of loving Nico. But you didn’t let me keep being scared. So what would you say to you if you were me?”
There was a full-length mirror on the closet door, and I studied my reflection. I would tell me to trust myself. To trust Dante. I had once told Kat that if a man ever looked at me the way that Nico had looked at her, I would never let him go. Which had clearly turned out to be untrue. Because that was exactly the way Dante looked at me, every time he saw me.
With an incredible mixture of fire, adoration, and love in his eyes.
I didn’t answer her question. “But what about the other people involved? Like Genesis and Sterling. I don’t want to hurt either one of them.”
“Genesis went on this show knowing she might not get chosen, and that she might be sent home at any time. It was a risk they all agreed to take.”
The reality of the pain this would cause was finally starting to sink in. “That doesn’t make it right.”
“And Sterling deserves whatever’s coming to him, the jerk.”
“Why don’t you like him? You’ve never really told me.”
“Because he broke your heart and made you distrust all men.” I had blamed my issues with men on Enrique, but Kat was right. Sterling was the first boy to break my heart, and I hadn’t really recovered my ability to believe and trust. Even now, when I had someone like Dante who wanted to love me, it scared me just as much as it thrilled me. “I don’t think he’s good for you, and I don’t think he’ll make you happy. You and Dante belong together. My DVR even has documented evidence of how in love you two are, thanks to that dumb show.”
She was right.
“I don’t want to get hurt.”
Kat stifled a yawn. “He won’t hurt you. I won’t let him. I will be the first one to kick him where it counts, even if he is going to be my brother-in-law.”
“But what if he does hurt me?”
“What if he doesn’t? This could be the greatest thing that has ever happened to you. Tell him. Now.”
I could do this. I would tell him too, and then go home and break up with Sterling, and after the show ended I would be in Monterra to work for his family and we could real-life date. This would work.
“And just think about the publicity if we had a double wedding,” she said.
Whoa. “Nobody’s saying anything about getting married.”
“Dante has been since he met you. What was it you said to me about marrying him? Oh yeah, that it was as likely as rain falling upward.”
I glared, even though she couldn’t see me. “You’re not funny.”
“I’m hilarious and owed some payback for the lack of sleep. Call me tomorrow after eleven o’clock my time and tell me how it went. You know I’m a mess if I don’t get at least twelve hours of sleep.”
I told her good-bye and looked at my reflection again. I was doing this.
I was going to tell Dante everything.
Chapter 25
I heard you should doubt your doubts. Does that mean you should lie to your lies?